JAN 25, 2021

Synesthetic Artist Copes With High Functioning Depression By Creating Digital Collages That Show Her Internal World.

I’m Marisa, and for the last few months I’ve been coping with depression by creating really silly digital collages on my iPhone.

For the longest time I’ve been an entrepreneur and an academic, but after the pandemic hit, like most of us, I started to question my trajectory.

My new venture is nothing purposeful at all, and I think that’s what makes it so effective. Instead of trying to build a new business or make it in the world, I’ve simply begun creating ridiculous digital collages that express how I experience life as a synesthete, for absolutely no rhyme or reason.

To function in the real world, I’ve had to repress a lot of what I experience. Since the pandemic, I’ve been exploring my internal landscape and interpreting it in this funny little collages.

A synesthete is someone whose senses cross in the brain. This can come across in a myriad of ways for different people. Some people smell colours, others see them when they hear music, and so on. For me, I’ve always seen landscapes, texture and colours in everything I see, hear and feel. It’s different to association, in that I have no control over it and it’s not linked to previous memories or experiences. (You can google for more articulate info.)

By creating these collages, I started to tap into an internal landscape that I usually have to ignore. I started exploring the colours and textures that arise when I think or feel, and I used them to create these surreal photos on my phone.

What was surprising to me was how each collage helped to lift my experience of depression. Each one helped poke a hole in the darkness that has been surrounding my mind and heart for decades. Little rays of light have started shining in, and my senses have become brighter and more experienceable. (As many with depression would know, you tend to fall into a neutral apathy, where feelings tend not to be felt, and life becomes rather drab).

I’ve had a lot of mixed opinions about the collages, and I’m okay with that. Some people aren’t a fan, but there’s been quite a few who tell me they spark a bit of joy in their lives.

I think that’s a really neat side effect of this exploration.

I hope they spark some joy for you, or they make you laugh and embrace the silliness of play like I’ve been doing lately.

Thanks for reading.

You can stay in touch by following @marisa.falconi on Instagram.