35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place

Bored Panda got in touch with licensed professional counselor Rodney Luster, Ph.D., for his thoughts on why some people go for subtle insults. He also shared his advice on how we can all be more emotionally resilient, no matter the criticism that we face. Dr. Luster is the host of the 'More Than a Feeling' blog on Psychology Today and the founder of 'Inspirethought.'

"How and why people choose things is sometimes motivated by deeper, unconscious elements," Dr. Luster told Bored Panda via email.

“In a case where people interweave a criticism, it could be because of the Shadow Self. As Jung suggested, the ‘dark’ aspect of ourselves that is part of our unconscious is acting out, so we attempt to disown the ‘shadow’ in us by criticizing others,” he said.

"For those that do it less conspicuously, it might also be a passive way to tell someone how they really feel about them, disguising it in hidden language."

We asked Dr. Luster about becoming more resilient to any criticism thrown our way. He suggested a few things that we can do when we face criticism.

“Try to be aware of your defensiveness creeping up and attempt to remove your own connection by looking more closely at the underlying emotions and motives of the critic,” he told Bored Panda.

Dr. Luster added that we can also 'scrub' the words. "Look beneath the critical words for the productive element if there is one."

You can also reframe the criticism. "We get to choose how to contextually situate this in our brain," he said.

"I like to use the following analogy: You can choose to see your house in a few ways. You can go outside and stand in front of it, or you can look at it from Google Maps. Both are true versions, but you choose the one that you would rather see. Same thing here: choose the best picture of what you heard and see it for any opportunity that helps or not."

There’s definitely a time and a place for swear words and insults. Swearing can relieve or distract us from pain, relieve stress, and even showcase linguistic creativity. However, you should not go around insulting everyone around you all day long just because you enjoy the rush. You’ll soon find that you no longer have any friends left!

However, a well-placed verbal jab or some witty banter can add color to everyone’s life. Especially if the other person has a good sense of humor and a dash of self-awareness to be able to laugh at themselves, too. Maybe they can appreciate how playful and intelligent your insult was. Of course, this only applies to situations where the person throwing around the insults isn’t completely mean-spirited.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who put others down to boost their own egos. They might have problems with self-esteem or self-image. But instead of working through their problems, they lash out at the world. Some folks become outright bullies. Others embrace passive aggression.

Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University, argues that it’s not actually direct insults that do us the most harm. As it turns out, we’re most unsettled by casual put-downs because they catch us off guard.

According to the professor, subtle criticisms can be hidden or implied, take on the guise of a false compliment, or even masquerade as someone pretending to be concerned.

However, subtle insults aren’t all-powerful. A lot depends on how you react to them. Or, to put it another way: is an insult still an insult if the person being insulted doesn’t feel insulted?

Professor Kraft urges people to first of all identify the hidden or implied insults. You can then directly confront the other person with a simple question and brief conversation. Or you move past the put-down by throwing out a general reply.

Alternatively, you could always downplay the put-down. For instance, you can acknowledge the insult and then either disagree with it or amplify it. If you throw some verbal playfulness into the mix, you can show that you’re not bothered.

At the end of the day, though, it’s up to each of us to decide who we spend time with. If we’re constantly dealing with a barrage of snarky remarks, maybe it’s time to focus on better friends.

What's the most subtle but powerful insult you've ever heard, Pandas? Which of the put-downs in this post would you ever use in real life and why? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.