Women Share 28 Subtle Power Moves They Do To Spread Feminism

Whenever I’m talking to a man and he says something about me that he like, doesn’t like, like something I’m wearing or like something that I do, or it’s something that somebody else does, specifically another woman, if he’s like ‘Oh, I don’t like when girls wear heels’ or ‘I don’t like girls that lift weights’, you know, something like that, I always just look at him and go ‘Oh, that’s OK’. And I always get the weirdest little looks because it’s subtle enough that he doesn’t want to get into an argument about it or defend himself about it. But it’s powerful enough that it makes them think about what he just said. You know what I mean? We’re not doing it for you, but it’s OK.

When somebody tells me a story involving another person, as long as it is in a positive light, I assume ‘she’ is her pronouns. If a friend of mine says ‘I went to the doctor and got some really good news’ I’ll respond with ’Oh, what did she say? Or if somebody says ‘My kid’s principal did this really cool thing at the school the other day’ ‘Oh, that’s awesome. Good for her.’ Always assume ‘she/her’ pronouns, no matter what. As long as it’s positive.

Well, I work in the business world, corporate America specifically, and I have a pretty intense job that I work with a lot of men with. And growing up, my dad always told me, because he worked in corporate America, to have a super firm handshake. I noticed when I was in corporate America that men would always try to shake my hand just a little bit harder than I was. Shaking theirs to kind of assert a little bit of physical dominance over me. So now, whenever I shake a guy’s hand that I’m meeting in a business meeting, a new CEO, whatever it may be, I shake their hand for about two milliseconds, gauge how hard they’re shaking my hand and then I administer just a little bit more pressure than they have asserted upon me. And every single time.

Whenever I feel like I’m dealing with a man who thinks he’s way cooler than me or smarter than me or whatever, he’s super arrogant, I have two tactics. The first tactic is when they are telling me THE fact, I feel like you know what I mean, every arrogant guy has THE fact. He busts out whether it’s about music or a movie or something that he thinks makes them sound really intelligent and cultured. Whenever they tell me this fact, I just respond with ‘Are you sure about that?’ And when they’re like ’Yeah, I’m sure, like, what do you mean am I sure, why?’ I just say ‘No reason, continue. It’s fine’. The second one is whenever they’re telling me about an idea they have that I can tell makes them feel way smarter than everybody else, I just go ’Do you tell people this? Like… Often?’

As a woman bartender, I do have a few of these stored up my sleeve. And one of my favorites is when a man is ordering his beer in like an aggressively manly way, right? Because there’s a difference between 'Hi, can I get a Bud Light?’ And 'yeah, give me a beer and a glass. Whatever. A Bud Light, I don’t put it in a glass. I’ll drink it.’ Oh man, Blah blah. Right? So when that type of guy orders his drink and he’s just really proving he’s a man I love responding with 'oh yeah, cute drink' or 'oh yeah, you’re fancy. Let me grab that for you' or 'oh love, here you go' Or if it’s Bud Light specifically 'oh yes, a rice beer, you got it' It leaves him feeling rattled. I’ll tell you that.

So let me preface this with my husband who loves me very much, and he’s very proud of the things I’ve accomplished. But because I have a doctorate, the formal way to address anything to us is this. So this is the formal and correct way to address us as Dr. and Mr. And you can see it there on that one too. So anyways, I saved these because I just love it and I’m proud of myself for it. But some of his friends have caught on to it too. And we’ll just get like random Christmas cards or whatever addressed like that too. So it’s all in good fun. He loves it, deep down.

I don’t know if this is a feminist power move or not, but it certainly is a great tip. If you are a woman with a lot of male-dominated hobbies or you find yourself having a lot in common with men, you can accidentally interact with really toxic men. But I do have a foolproof method of getting those men to show themselves early on when you’re getting to know him. If he points out that you guys have a lot in common say ‘Yeah, we do. What’s your star sign?’ He’ll react one of three ways, he’ll either say ‘Actually, I don’t really know’ and just tell you his birthday. Green flag. If he just answers the question - green flag. If he goes on a rant telling you how stupid that star thing is and he can’t believe someone like you like something like that - boo. Red Flag. A man worth your time will at least have the decency to be respectful to you, even if you don’t have exactly the same hobbies. You don’t even have to like astrology for this to work. It could be any girly thing.

When I ask a man a question, as soon as he answers me, I say ‘Are you sure?’ And then I google it right in front of them. I address all correspondence to married people as Mrs. and Mr. Cameron Clyne. If a man tells me he’s interested in a topic, I say something really obvious about that topic and then pretend I’m teaching him some kind of state secret. I always frame acknowledgement of a man’s accomplishments through the lens of being surprised he was competent enough to do it. I encroach on men’s personal space in public and pretend I’m oblivious to the situation. If I see a man doing something, I approach him and ask ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’ If a man asks me to do something for him, I ask him to start the task for me, and then I ask him for really obvious help at every stage of the task. And when the task is finished, I act like I’ve done the entire thing myself and I expect praise. When a man tries to interrupt me while I’m busy and make me listen to him, I finish what I’m doing. When I stop, I make eye contact with him and confidently say ‘I was busy, so I wasn’t listening to you’. You’re going to need to repeat yourself. I don’t say ‘thank you’ to compliments from men. I just agree with them. I use the word ‘no’ as a full sentence. And then when a man asks me to justify why I said no, I say that sentence again. When I greet a couple, I make eye contact with and greet the woman first and begin speaking to her. And I will not address the man or make eye contact with him or even acknowledge him unless he’s introduced to me. I won’t offer men help unless they ask and then I act like I don’t want to do it and I get up and help, but I complain the whole time and make the entire task really unpleasant for everybody. When a couple has a baby, I assume the father is going to quit his job to stay home and raise it. I introduce men as so-and-so’s boyfriend, so and so’s son always in relation to the woman that I know closest to them. Never addressed, here’s John. I’m sorry, sir, did the middle of my sentence barge in on the beginning of yours again? In any situation where you would typically say ’Ladies and gentlemen, I just say ‘ladies’, I only give men thoughtless generic gifts, and if they don’t like it, I act like they’re ungrateful. I like to invalidate a man’s feelings by pretending I’m too incompetent to understand them. When men get upset, I tell them that they’re not capable of rational or logical thought while they’re so emotional and to talk to me again when they’re calm and in control of themselves. I tell men that their college degrees don’t actually make them an expert in their field.