As much as you try to avoid injury, there are times when pain just comes to you. Fate decides to play a cruel game at your expense, hurting you in ways you probably never imagined.
These people would know. They were generous enough to share their answers to this Reddit question: “What’s the stupidest way you’ve injured yourself?” Someone cut their hand on a frozen chicken nugget, while another unfortunate soul had a dog fall on their head from a third-floor balcony.
Scroll down and read through these stories. Some are almost cartoonish, while others may make you cringe out of empathy. Try not to laugh too hard because it is still someone’s pain, after all.
#21
Running to catch a train after a few beers with some mates (had been watching a 5 a side legends tournament in Manchester), tried being flash by vaulting a bin at speed.
Messed up the landing and tore my right calf muscle badly, missed the train too (no they didn't wait for me).
Messed up the landing and tore my right calf muscle badly, missed the train too (no they didn't wait for me).
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29points
#22
Running from the garden into the house, I jumped in through the patio doors. Except they were shut. My sister still laugh about how I boiinged off the door like a Tom and Jerry cartoon!
Dancing in my room wearing a pencil skirt. Kicked my leg up high, it whipped the other leg from under me and I landed on the floor. Luckily I was alone for that one!
Had a knife with a cover on it. Took the cover off with my thumb on the cover - of course sliced through my thumb. Bled like a bastard.
Dancing in my room wearing a pencil skirt. Kicked my leg up high, it whipped the other leg from under me and I landed on the floor. Luckily I was alone for that one!
Had a knife with a cover on it. Took the cover off with my thumb on the cover - of course sliced through my thumb. Bled like a bastard.
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29points
#23
Two things come to mind. Both many years ago, when at school.
1. I fractured my arm (not stupidly) so didn't do gym for a couple of months. During that time, they replaced the springboard that we used with a mini-trampoline.
First gym class I was allowed to do, we were using the mini-tramp to vault a horse. Never having used one before, I jumped on it with the same force as a springboard. I flew through the air and never touched the horse, and broke my collarbone on landing.
After that, the gym teacher called me 007, as apparently it was quite cinematic.
2. In metalwork, I'd been using a soldering iron and hung it from its hook on a rack. I misjudged it and it fell off. Without thinking I caught it in mid-air, but by the wrong end.
1. I fractured my arm (not stupidly) so didn't do gym for a couple of months. During that time, they replaced the springboard that we used with a mini-trampoline.
First gym class I was allowed to do, we were using the mini-tramp to vault a horse. Never having used one before, I jumped on it with the same force as a springboard. I flew through the air and never touched the horse, and broke my collarbone on landing.
After that, the gym teacher called me 007, as apparently it was quite cinematic.
2. In metalwork, I'd been using a soldering iron and hung it from its hook on a rack. I misjudged it and it fell off. Without thinking I caught it in mid-air, but by the wrong end.
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29points
#24
I was removing the liquidiser blade from a stick blender and it was still plugged in. I said to myself with a loud inner voice - "DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON" The other half of my brain heard it as "Press the button" so I did.
It wasn't so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn't liquidise my finger but I couldn't bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.
It wasn't so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn't liquidise my finger but I couldn't bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.
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28points
#25
Ran over my own finger on skateboard and broke it (also had to have the nail pulled out of the same broken finger).
See also: ran over my own foot and ankle with my car.
See also: ran over my own foot and ankle with my car.
28points
#26
I once went on a lads holiday and broke my wrist trying to lean against a fence whilst chatting up 2 girls. turns out the fence was just some rope and i fell 10 foot off a ledge onto a balcony below. proper only fools and horses style.
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26points
#27
Was changing an office strip light and the bracket had somehow twisted itself, so I poked my (metal) Leatherman into the (live) fitting. Got an electric shock which caused me to punch myself in the face.
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25points
#28
Dismantling my old wooden shed, planks of wooden panels with long rusty nails scattered everywhere. I was rather proud of myself and then I stood on one of them at a weird angle and surely enough it was perfectly aimed for my family jewels....the pain of it made me violently stumble backwards and surely enough, I stood on another plank with big rusty nails....
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24points
#29
Slicing my hand myself with a new kitchen knife while unpackaging it, while talking about how sharp these new ones will be and being excited about it lol.
24points
#30
Cutting my fingernails, didn't have clippers so carefully used a long craft knife. Sneezed and cut a 3 inch gash in the flesh by my thumb. Also got a bad habit of catching things I drop on my foot, stabbed my foot with the same knife.
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23points
