When it comes to taking care of your health, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Not sure if that fever you’ve had for a few days is a simple virus or something more insidious? When in doubt, just visit a doctor.
But occasionally, we end up at a clinic or in the emergency room for reasons that we may be embarrassed to explain to the doctors… Or reasons we made up in the first place.
Reddit users have recently been confessing the stupidest reasons they’ve ever ended up in the hospital, so you’ll find some of their funniest and most ridiculous stories below. Enjoy reading through these reminders to stay safe out there, folks, and be sure to upvote the tales that you find most amusing!
#1
So, I had this in grown hair from shaving my balls. I noticed it in the shower and figured I'd go ahead and pop that.
A few days later, my balls are in extreme pain, I decided that I'd go to a walk in clinic and get checked out. FYI, there is no dignified way to tell someone that you have very sore and very swollen nuts, but I did my best. I go see the doc and show him what's up, he says in an alarmingly concerned tone, "Oh that is very infected". He asks what happened and I tell him, he informs me that you should never pop any ingrown hair, but especially in that region, because if it doesn't pop, the infection goes inside.
He gives me some medication and informs me that I may develop an abscess, and if it does, to come back and he'll drain it.
So I do the medical regime he prescribed, and it starts to feel mildly better after a couple of days. I get out of the shower and notice that the area has indeed formed an abscess. It looks like a piece of raw chicken skin and I think, I can probably just knock that off and, before I know it, it is off.
Blood.
But also, no more pain. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, already with a jaunty song in my heart I'm ready to start my day - that is until I see the dime sized hole in my s*****m.
After the panic finally subsidies, I realize I can't just put on clothes, as something might get in there. I find a bandage that'll cover it and head to the emergency room.
Much like telling someone your balls and very sore and swollen, there is no dignified way to tell anyone you have a dime sized hole in your sack. However, fun fact, if you tell someone you have a hole in your s*****m, YOU GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE!
So, I leap frog ahead of a bunch of old ladies to get an ultrasound, all of which are glaring at me. They slather me up and take a look. I asked them if it was twins, they do not laugh.
So after having my balls handled by no less than 7 people, which is normally a pretty awesome Friday night, I figure I'm patched up enough to go home, but they tell me I have to wait for a urologist. This takes some time and I'm curious as to what they're looking for.
Oh. Well, we just want to make sure there are no signs of gangrene or flesh eating disease. Ah. Ok. Uh. Great.
They check me over, admonish me a few more times for squeezing an in grown hair, and tell me that as long as I take all my meds, I should be alright, which I was.
Worst birthday ever.
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245points
#2
My weiner turned puffy and red for seemingly no reason. Had to fly to a wedding next morning and freaked out. Asked my gf to drive me to hospital. Nurse asked me if I had been eating spicy foods. Yes, I had been eating hot wings, and I must have held my weiner to urinate prior to washing my hands. Nurse gave me a benadryl and told me to chill. I later requested the nurse's notes for my records, they're hilarious.
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148points
#3
I took my daughter to the hospital after she had been puking for 12 hours, Nurse was making me feel really stupid. My daughter threw up all over the nurses computer. She took us right back to a room after that.
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142points
We reached out to the Reddit user who posed the question, "What is the stupidest reason you went to the hospital?" and lucky for us, they were happy to have a chat with Bored Panda. The curious person, u/lugulaga, shared that they were inspired to start this conversation because they wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who had been to the hospital for a silly reaosn. "Turns out there were a lot," they noted.
#4
About 24-years ago, I ate almost a whole quart of Korean kimchi for dinner. It was so peppery, spicy and so good, I just couldn’t stop eating it.
That night, I experienced the most excruciating stomach pains, much worse than when my appendix burst 10-years ago. It was so bad, I stripped off all my clothes and sat in my boxer briefs on my front porch step writhing in agony holding my now bloated stomach.
My wife finally took me to the ER and they put an IV in my arm with some pain killer and admitted me for a 23-hour observation. As the night went on, the pain subsided and I finally started feeling better.
Fast forward to the morning and I was feeling much better and pretty much back to normal. As the hospital was preparing to discharge me, the night shift was replaced by the daylight shift and a few nurses came in to check on me followed by the new attending ER doctor, a Korean! 😳
He was smiling, chuckling and laughing telling me I had suffered from “kimchiitis” and proceeded to lecture me that kimchi is supposed to be a side dish to a meal, and not the main course! I really made his day, and everyone, including my sleep-deprived wife who sat with me the whole night, were laughing, shaking their heads, and grinning at my stupidity.
To this day, I still wonder if that Korean ER doctor used my case as one of his funniest ER stories.
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135points
#5
Hiccups that lasted 24 hrs, stopped right when the doctor stepped in the room. Lol
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128points
"I once dropped a knife, which mildly cut a part of my chest. I lied on how I got the cut to my doctor," the OP admitted.
We were also curious what lugulaga thought of all of the stories readers shared on their post. "All of the responses were unique, and I enjoyed reading them," they said. "However, one that stood out to me was a comment about a user's friend who swallowed a 50 cent piece to win a bet."
#6
Went? I go once or twice a week for being f*****g stupid again and locking myself out of the apartment! The staff in the reception must look at me and my dog everytime thinking "there goes the clown again lel"
My wife works at the hospital, I go there to borrow her keys
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122points
#7
Wife passed out on deck of community pool and when she came to, she could barely move/speak.
Took her to hospital. Docs couldn’t figure out what was going on, even after blood tests, but after a few hours in ER waiting room, she started to get better.
We were staying at friend’s parent’s place, while they out of town. Turns out, wife ate a cookie from the freezer that she didn’t know was heavily laced with Cannabis.
We realized what had happened the next day when she ate another cookie, and this time gave me some.
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122points
We also asked the OP if they had any advice for avoiding future stupid trips to the hospital. Although they warned us that they're not a professional, lugulaga did note that "most of the comments were caused by overreaction to a pain that they had experienced. So not overreacting and assessing the situation could help."
#8
My husband went because he was in extreme pain and thought he was having a heart attack. Turns out it was wind. He just needed a good fart.
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109points
#9
I’m an er doc.
About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the er with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand new blue jeans on.
Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color.
The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me.
Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that “we did nothing.”
About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the er with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand new blue jeans on.
Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color.
The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me.
Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that “we did nothing.”
102points
#10
Butt cheek injuries caused by a door.
I hate touching door knobs with my hands and always use my forearm to rub against the doorknob in a downward motion using friction to turn the k**b. Was joking around with my gf saying I can open a door with my buttcheek exactly like how I use my forearm. Jumped at the door butt first and the little metal thing that guides the door cut my buttcheek (i think they call it strike plate or latch strike). The cut wasn’t a clean cut because the thing wasn’t that sharp. 30+ stitches.
After that she had to stand behind me holding a bowl to cover my wound every time I take a shower so it doesn’t get wet, and we live in a hot country so she has to do that twice a day for like a month.
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101points
#11
Broke my hip…
…Getting up from the couch.
It was already really f****d up thanks to a medication I’d been on for years and hurt like a bastard. When it finally snapped I didn’t think “S**T! My hip broke!” I thought “S**t! This thing’s acting up!”
Turns out the bone was necrotic and released a massive infection into my system, I woke up from a medically induced coma a month later with no idea how I wound up in the hospital.
Edit: Wow, woke up from a nap to see a ton of replies and upvotes! Thanks, everyone!
Edit 2: Just started replying to everyone’s questions but the gist is this:
1. Prednisone (steroid used for rheumatoid arthritis) is what ruined my hip. I had a doctor who claimed it was “safer” than the pain meds I was on at the time…I *really* disagree with him after all that.
2. My Dad was the one who called the ambulance a few days after it happened since I passed out from exhaustion (only place I felt remotely comfortable was my PC chair and was stuck there for a whole night, he moved me to the living room couch where I finally got some sleep) and spiked a fever.
3. Doing SO much better now. I got my hip and a few other joints replaced over the next couple years. I’m still in pain from my rheumatoid arthritis but its a million times more manageable than it was before. Plus I have much more competent doctors who are willing to listen to my concerns instead of the guy who put me on prednisone and said “Which one of us has the medical degree? Yeah, I thought so, do what I say.”
In fact my current pain management doctor told me to stay away from steroids like prednisone completely- They also ruined my bone density, among a couple other problems we’re hoping to fix or at least manage. He’s awesome, the total opposite of the guy who put me on prednisone.
Thanks, everyone for the replies and upvotes!
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99points
#13
Pain on my left pelvic side. Had it every now and then but it would get intense. Went to ER and they ran all sorts of tests. Nothing came back indicating why. Finally, months later, it occurred to me that it was ovulation pain. Taught me DRs need more education about women’s health.
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92points
#14
Not me but i had to pick up a mate who swallowed a 50c piece to win a $2 bet. If you don't know, an Australian 50c is quite large. They had to do an endoscopy to get it out. They let him keep the black corroded coin too.
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90points
#15
When I was a kid, I didn’t like pooping because I never felt like I was clean enough after wiping my butt. Not sure why really, I wasn’t ocd or anything but I didn’t like it; so I decided to stop pooping. Whenever I had to poop, I’d just hold it or go out and play and eventually the urge would go away.
Well, I woke up in the middle of the night, one night, and I literally couldn’t breathe. I ran into my parents room and woke them up just gasping for air until I passed out. They rushed me to the hospital and I started being able to breathe again on the ride there. They did some blood work and an x-ray and saw in the x-ray that my colon was so backed up with poo that the poo was blocking my lungs, especially after laying in my bed sleeping for a few hours, which is why I woke up and couldn’t breathe. My poo impacted colon was basically pushing against my lungs so I couldn’t inflate them when I tried to breathe in.
They gave me some ex lax and had to bring in a stool sample for the next couple months, I guess for some sort of testing, but never had a problem after that. I just learned that the poo has to go somewhere so I better get used to pooping. Waking up and not being able to breathe was one of the scariest things I’ve been through
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87points
#16
one of my dogs attacked the other and in an effort to break them up, i stuck my hand inside the angry dogs mouth. ended up with 6 stitches in my hand and 2 days off work.
don’t stick your hand inside an angry dogs mouth. ever.
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87points
#17
When I was 10, I wanted to go to my friend's house. My older sister who was watching me at the time wouldn't let me, so I did the reasonable thing and jumped out my second floor window. You wouldn't be surprised to learn I spent most of my childhood grounded.
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86points
#18
Migraine that presented as body numbness. Got a 3-day workup for a stroke to find out that I not only have migraines but an aneurysm. So thank you, migraines, for saving my life.
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85points
#19
Once at work I pooped so hard when I stood up I fainted. I woke up in the hospital with a massive goose egg and a dislocated collar bone. I needed a cat scan and physio. All because I pooped too hard.
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81points
#20
When I was 8 I was bored so I got a bottle of Gatorade from my pantry and grabbed a kitchen knife then proceeded to stab it over the sink to see how easily the knife would go through the thicker plastic of the bottle…almost lost my thumb
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77points