There are countless examples of parents’ sense of entitlement—just take this mother demanding that other children share their toys, for example, or this one annoyed at some kids at the playground—which is why people are far from surprised when another similar situation unfolds.
“We’ve all run into that parent, the one who demands to go ahead of us in line at the grocery store or restaurant because their child is getting impatient, or the one who wants to switch seats with us because their child wants to be at the window or on the aisle,” developmental psychologist Dona Matthews told Bored Panda in a recent interview.
“That parent is probably entitled and demanding in other areas of their life, too, but at the very least we can know that in these cases, they’re using their child as a proxy to ask for advantages.”
“My reaction to that kind of entitlement depends on the parent’s tone,” Matthews continued. “If they’re apologetic, and express appreciation for the fact they’re asking for something I don’t have to give them, I’m usually happy to comply if I can.
“But if the tone is demanding, I find I dig in my heels, and will comply only if I feel like it. I’ll be polite, but might say ‘No,’ maybe with an explanation (e.g., ‘Sorry, I’m in a hurry too.’ Or ‘Sorry, I selected this seat and am all set up here.’)”
It’s arguably safe to assume that most people would react differently to a demanding and appreciative tone, especially when it comes to parents with children. If an apologetic dad asks to cut in line by the nearest bathroom, because his little one really needs to go, that’s a completely different story from an aggravated 'Karen' yelling that their child deserved this plane seat they didn’t book or pay for in advance.
#7 That’s Just Under 1.3 Billion Today, That’s Literal Effort To Be That Entitled
It’s important to pay attention when a parent is simply being an entitled jerk and when there are actually valid reasons for their seemingly rude or aggravating behavior. Dona Matthews shared with Bored Panda that she doesn’t think entitlement is ever excusable, but there are times when parents can have legitimate requests for help with their children.
“If a child or parent has special needs, and the parent is doing their best to manage a tough situation, then I want to be part of the village that supports the family in coping as well as possible with their challenges,” she said.
It’s difficult to answer why some people feel entitled to certain things just because they are a parent. “That varies from one parent to another, and from one situation to another,” the developmental psychologist pointed out. “Sometimes it’s temperament—some people are just more demanding than others, regardless of the situation—and sometimes it’s concern about their child’s ability to cope with less-than-ideal circumstances.”
“Sometimes that concern is legitimate—the parent may be dealing with a particularly challenging child—and sometimes it stems from a parent’s need for more effective parenting techniques,” the expert added.
Some of the posts shared by ‘Entitled Parents Memes’ clearly show that such parents often affect not only their own lives and well-being but those of their children as well. Their actions can have a strong impact on the offspring and can set an example, which might be far from the best one for a developing mind to follow.
“An entitled parent is acting as a model for their child, and is effectively teaching their child to feel entitled, too. As time goes by, that rarely goes well for either one of them,” Matthews said.
Teaching children that they are entitled to some sort of preferential treatment might not be the best choice for many reasons; and there clearly are better things to fill their heads with.
“There’s considerable research showing that an attitude of gratitude has many benefits, whereas an attitude of entitlement brings with it negativity and unnecessary problems,” Dona Matthews emphasized in a recent interview with Bored Panda.
In a piece for Psychology Today, she pointed out that an attitude of gratitude leads to more energy, a greater sense of optimism, greater resilience and better capacity to overcome setbacks, a deeper sense of contentment, and deeper empathy, which can be essential for trying to tame a sense of entitlement.
In her piece, the author also shared ways of incorporating gratitude into your own and your child’s life. She suggested focusing on the beauty in the moment; “Actively celebrate being alive. Notice what’s good or beautiful about the people and the world around you.”
She also emphasized the importance of establishing and maintaining healthy routines, transforming entitlement and negativity into gratitude, and teaching your child to express it, among other things.