Young folks don’t have everything figured out, and they often need support from their loved ones to help them get through tough times. Unfortunately, some parents take this to the extreme by controlling every aspect of their kids’ lives until there is no room for them to make decisions.
This is what one man realized after he was tasked to work on a research paper with his classmate, only to find out that her mom was puppeteering everything behind the scenes. This left him baffled and worried for his own grades.
More info: Reddit
It can be tough to deal with overbearing parents, especially if they don’t see anything wrong with their actions
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The poster shared that he had to collaborate with a classmate to write a research paper, but that during the process, her mom kept taking the lead and controlling everything
Image credits: teksomolika / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man wasn’t sure if he should report his classmate to the class professor since her mother clearly seemed to be managing the project for her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Eventually, after asking for advice online, the poster told his professor about his predicament and also reported the matter to his department chair
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The man later got added to a new group with two classmates, and also learned that another student also had the same issues with the woman and her mom
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Even though the poster knew that his classmate and her mom probably hated him for complaining, he didn’t want to jeopardize his last semester before graduation
When the poster started working with his classmate on their research paper, he probably thought that everything would go according to plan. Unfortunately, he was shocked when the woman’s mother started taking over everything, kept responding for her daughter, and even went through all their communication.
When parents start controlling their child’s life like this, psychologists state that it can cause a lot of problems with the child’s sense of self. Although the adults might only be trying to take over everything in order to make their kid feel safe, this behavior can have the opposite effect and make them uncomfortable in everyday life.
Experts also add that this kind of micromanaging can make a child retreat into their shell, which might cause them to feel anxious or depressed. That’s exactly what the young woman seemed to be experiencing, as the poster had mentioned, that she always came across as a very shy and nervous person.
Since the OP didn’t want to collaborate on the project with his classmate’s mom, he decided that he needed to do something about the situation. The only problem was that since it was his last semester, he wasn’t sure if calling out the situation could cause him any problems or lead him to get a failing grade.
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In the end, the man decided to email his professor about the situation and to also speak to the Anthropology department chair. He explained how his classmate’s mother had taken over the project, which could affect their work and might also signal that something more serious was happening behind the scenes.
Although it might create a slightly awkward situation to report a classmate to a professor, professionals state that it’s important to safeguard your interests first. If the student doesn’t change their behavior, talking to the concerned authorities will help set appropriate consequences for them and protect your grades.
After the OP spoke to his teacher about the issue, he got reassigned to work with another set of students as a special accommodation. He also found out that another one of his classmates had a similar issue with the woman and her mother, which meant that it wasn’t just him who had found all of it tough to handle.
Even though the poster felt bad about reporting the other student, he knew that he couldn’t risk his grades being affected since it was his last semester before graduation. Luckily, he didn’t let his fear of the woman’s mom get in the way, or else he would have probably gotten into trouble later on.
What do you think you would have done if you faced such a situation? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
People sided with the poster, and they felt sorry that the classmate had to deal with her mom’s controlling nature
