"We're Divorced Now": 28 Stories When Folks Stuck With Partners In Hard Times And How It Ended

Every long-term relationship goes through difficult times, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Of course, nobody wants themselves or their partner to struggle, but sometimes, it’s healthy for folks to deal with such situations together. When people go through things like this, they learn how the other person deals with difficulties and are also able to pick up on their reaction styles.

To understand more about this, Bored Panda reached out to Heather Thom (RPC). She has been a breakup recovery counselor and relationship coach for almost 15 years. She's known for helping people navigate some of the most painful experiences in their lives so they can heal and move forward with clarity and confidence. She also creates helpful advice and analysis videos on her YouTube channel.

Heather shared that “anyone can love you when things are easy, but real intimacy is built in the difficult moments. It’s not just about ‘making it through’ tough times. It’s about who you become as a team because of those times.”

There are certain factors that can spell doom for a relationship when it enters a period of strife or conflict. According to experts, partners who show contempt for each other, stonewall the other’s attempt at reconciliation, criticize one another, or act defensively may struggle to find common ground and might remain in the conflict.

What’s really important in a healthy relationship is empathy, understanding, and care on both sides. Essentially, both people need to come together and be one team. Heather Thom explained that “couples who support each other through stress don’t just feel better in the moment; they actually grow stronger, more secure, and more connected.” 

“Here’s the kicker: staying isn’t about suffering in silence. It’s about staying with presence, with intention, with effort. Because grit without grace? That burns people out. But when two people work with each other, instead of just existing next to each other, the relationship transforms. It’s no longer just ‘you and me,’ it’s ‘us versus the world,’” she shared.

Challenges can affect every kind of relationship, be it platonic, romantic, or familial. What’s most important in such situations is to open the lines of communication and always have respect for the other person. Developing a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s defense mechanisms can also ensure people have the right tools to handle difficult times.

Heather also said: “Let me be clear: your partner isn’t a mind reader. One of the fastest ways to improve communication when things get tough is to stop assuming and start articulating. Be honest about your feelings without throwing emotional grenades.” 

“Use what John Gottman coined as ‘soft start-ups,’ For instance, ‘I’m feeling overwhelmed and I really need your support right now,’ not ‘you never listen.’ Communication during hard times is less about finding the perfect words and more about being a safe place for your partner. When your partner wants to open up to you, listen to understand them and ask for what they need.”

“Depending on the situation, they may just want to vent, or feel validated, or they want you to help them find a solution. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarity around what they need at that moment,” Heather added.

As you might have noticed from this list, some folks were able to stick it out through the hard times, and others weren’t. This is also because when emotions run high, partners may first attack the other person instead of looking inward and understanding themselves better. Giving each other space and grace can be the saving thing for a struggling relationship.

An important point Heather mentioned was: “As a breakup counselor, I know that not all couples make it through difficult times. It doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean the effort didn’t matter, but sometimes, difficulty uncovers deep misalignments in values, in communication, in emotional availability, and no amount of willpower can override that truth.”

“Hard times are clarifying. While they can make some couples stronger, they can also lovingly (or painfully) highlight that the most compassionate next step is letting go,” she shared.

If only life were sweet, clear, and free of any difficulties, everything would be perfect. The reality is that we often need to experience the tough moments in order to appreciate the good times. Every relationship also needs to face obstacles so that it can become strong and be stable for anything else that may come.

However the relationships in this list turned out, it’s important to understand that maintaining a bond with someone requires love, care, and patience. As long as you’ve got that, you might be able to handle anything.

What do you think might be the biggest predictor of a lasting relationship? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.