"How The Hell Is There Sand In Here?" And 30 More Stories Of Doctors Not Holding Back With Language

In this collection by Bored Panda, you will find a variety of stories - from the damn funny to the absolutely ridiculous and completely inappropriate. Some of them could probably cost doctors their jobs, while others, on the contrary, helped their patients believe in themselves and their future recovery. After all, no one has canceled the placebo effect - and encouraging words from a doctor are also kind of a powerful placebo. And vice versa as well.

It is interesting that about a quarter of a century ago, researchers noticed a trend that doctors generally began to talk less with patients about their illnesses, preferring to answer questions and fill out standard questionnaires. “As time progresses, I’m becoming convinced that doctors don’t like talking to patients,” Frank J. Weinstock, M.D., wrote in their study dated back to 1999.

“Staff members answer most questions and screen all calls, and the ‘don’t tell the patient I’m here’ attitude seems to be on the rise. It’s especially prevalent when it comes to talking on the phone.” Well, as the old chewing gum commercial once said, "Sometimes it's better to chew than to talk!"

After all, doctors are people too, with their own character traits (some would call them "oddities"), with their own strengths and weaknesses. It just so happens that their place of work is much more vital for many of us than, for example, the place of work of a car mechanic (well, a bad example - our life also much depends on the quality of the car mechanic's work).

In any case, no matter what sense of humor a doctor has, it probably shouldn't be used in relation to a patient's illness. Simply because it looks really inappropriate and unethical. And, as we have already noted, some doctors have encountered complaints about their strange phrases when communicating with patients.

"In fact, a lot depends on the doctor's specialization and their experience," says Iryna Stasiuk, an expert in syndromic therapy from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "Often, urologists and proctologists joke the most - simply because of the specifics of their profession. And, of course, the doctor's experience is also important."

"The thing is that an experienced doctor, regardless of specialty, is at the same time quite a good psychologist, and is able to ‘read’ the patient - to understand how much a joke will lift their spirits. And if the specialist understands that humor is inappropriate in a given situation, they will remain silent. Of course, there are outrageous cases, but this is more the exception than the rule."

"Again, I will say that jokes - even ‘on the verge of a foul’ - are most often made by specialists with many years of experience," Iryna sums up.

Well, I sincerely hope that at least a few of the stories told in this collection are fictitious. After all, I have a dentist appointment next week, and frankly, I wouldn't want to hear any of the things described here... However, if you've also witnessed some weird phrases from your doctors, please feel free to share your stories in the comments below this post.