#1
As a young bloke growing up, never saw my Mum actually putting it on, sure a touch up of lipstick here and there, most of my partners also, it wasn’t until my current other half that I saw the full process.
I sat there absolutely fascinated, watched the entire thing, she’s in front of the mirror in the bathroom, slinky dress on, I had a rough idea what she was wearing underneath, at some point I became sentient enough to tell her how good she looked, got a flirty wink in return.
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Before you even get to the stage of discovering your partner’s secret, nocturnal salsa-making habit, there's the big question: are you even ready to move in together? Relationship expert Noah Williams says you should have successfully traveled together, be able to have healthy disagreements, and have had the dreaded "money talk."
He insists that you discussed your future, you know how to share a space, and you genuinely enjoy each other's company in a non-vacation setting. But here's the truth: no amount of preparation can ready you for the specific kind of weirdness that only reveals itself when you share a mailing address.
You can ace every single one of those relationship tests and still be completely blindsided by the discovery that your partner sleeps with their eyes slightly open or thinks that leaving wet towels on the bed is a form of abstract art. So, expect the best, prepare for the worst!
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Edit: Had the name wrong.
Once you’ve taken the plunge, you’ll need a new set of tools to navigate this brave new world of shared spaces and strange habits. Relationship expert Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon says there are three vital skills for successful cohabitation: the skill of negotiation, the skill of creating rituals of connection, and the skill of having a shared social life.
She explains that these skills are essential for navigating the big stuff, like who pays for groceries and how you'll spend the holidays. Creating intentional rituals, like a no-phones-at-dinner rule, builds intimacy, while learning to balance your social lives is key to long-term success.
They are also, it turns out, crucial for navigating the small, insane stuff. That "skill of negotiation" is what you'll need when you discover your partner eats cereal with water and you have to decide if this is a battle worth fighting. A "ritual of connection" might be the nightly routine of figuring out which one of you is going to scrape the three-day-old food scraps out of the sink drain.
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EDIT: He's also a redditor and saw this post. Let's see if any changes result.
One of the most common and truly unsettling discoveries people make is that their partner is a prolific sleep-talker. One minute you're drifting off to sleep, and the next, you're getting a front-row seat to a bizarre, one-person play that you never bought tickets for.
According to the sleep nerds at the Sleep Foundation, sleep talking, or "somniloquy," is a type of parasomnia and is generally considered harmless. It can range from simple mumbles and gibberish to full, eloquent, and often deeply weird monologues.
While the science says it's no big deal, it's a very different story when you're the one lying awake at 3 AM listening to your partner calmly but firmly try to sell your cat a used car. The online threads are full of these stories, proving that for many couples, the biggest surprise of moving in together is discovering their partner's secret, nocturnal career as a nonsensical motivational speaker.
#11
Turns out that when he eats something he really enjoys he will eat it REALLY vigorously and then have to recover from his food coma.
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So, what do you do when you discover an annoying habit that is so deeply ingrained, it feels like a core part of your partner's personality? The experts at Focus on the Family offer some frustratingly mature and sensible advice. They suggest you should choose your battles wisely, avoid nagging, and try to use humor to address the issue.
They also recommend trying to understand the "why" behind the habit instead of just getting angry about it. The thinking is that this reframes the problem with empathy, suggesting there might be a logical, even touching, reason behind their actions.
This is all wonderful advice if your partner's annoying habit is leaving their socks on the floor. It is slightly less helpful when their annoying habit is licking all the seasoning off their chips. Sometimes, a habit is so profoundly strange that there is no healthy way to address it; there is only acceptance and the quiet fear that it might be contagious.
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Edit a word
Edit: the jig is up, guys! u/forl has been reading this thread the entire time, lol.
#15
Sometimes it's pretty cool. I dont know why he'll make himself some fries but leaves an arbitrary four pieces in the skillet. He says he never notices. I don't know how. But I just eat them.
But other times it bothers me. Cooks himself some ramen noodles. He'll drain the water but will leave like a quarter of noodles in the pot. He doesn't throw it away. He lets it stick and I have to add water just to wait until I can unstick it.
While most of these stories are about hilarious, harmless quirks, some experts offer a word of caution: think twice before moving in together. The Institute for Family Studies notes that cohabitation can create something called "relationship inertia."
This is the idea that once you've moved in together, the logistical nightmare of breaking up and moving out becomes so daunting that you might stay in a relationship that isn't right for you, simply because it's easier.
It’s the IKEA effect, but for relationships: you've already spent all that time and effort building the metaphorical bookshelf together, so you might as well keep it, even if it's a little wobbly. It's a reminder that while discovering your partner's weird habits is often funny, the act of combining your lives is a serious step that can make it much harder to walk away if you realize you're not a good long-term match.
Have you ever been a little startled by what you discovered after moving in with your partner? Share your wild stories in the comments!
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Edit: Gone for a few days to come back to a huge response, thanks for not making my top comment something i can actually show people.
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The thing is, I had NO IDEA how loud he could be. It should have occurred to me sooner, but he has no concept of his own volume. Listening to him make a cup of tea is like having the cast of Stomp in our kitchen.