If I’ve learned anything about relationships, it’s that you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. Couples that I’ve perceived as locked in for life have shocked me with the news of an extremely messy break-up, and I personally am guilty of portraying a picture-perfect relationship to the world while being on the verge of a break-up every evening.
But as heartbreaking as ending a relationship can be, it’s often for the best. Redditors have been recalling what made them end relationships with partners they planned on marrying one day, so we’ve gathered some of their most painful stories below. From dodging huge bullets to finally getting the courage to stand up for themselves, below, you'll find all the details about how these people freed themselves of relationships that weren’t meant to be. And keep reading to find a conversation with London Celebrity Therapist Nia Williams from Miss Date Doctor!
#1
My high school boyfriend and I would for sure have gotten married if I'd stayed in the relationship. We were planning on it. Both going to college in the same city, etc. And we'd been really serious, two+ year relationship, really loved each other a lot. I say this now as someone in her thirties with several years of marriage under her belt--high school bf and I had a bona-fide relationship going.
A month before leaving for college, my family took our annual summer vacation trip to [stereotypical New England vacation destination]. Boyfriend came along, as he had for the past two summers. I don't know what changed, exactly, but at some point during the trip, a switch flipped. I realized that left to itself, our relationship would in fact continue through college, through grad school, boyfriend would become a lawyer, I would become a teacher, we'd move into a house in our hometown that our parents bought, boyfriend would go work for his dad's law firm, we'd have a few kids, buy a vacation house, run some 5ks or maybe 10ks as we got older and realized we needed to keep staying in shape... I don't know, I just saw the whole thing, and I wanted none of it. As sexy and awesome as I found my high school boyfriend, I knew that that's what he wanted--stay in hometown, live a life exactly like the one he grew up with. For whatever reason, it turned me off completely. I broke up with him over that vacation and spent the rest of summer vacation crying my eyes out because he took all our mutual friends with him. Nobody understood why we broke up. Least of all me, to be honest--I just knew that I had to end it, because if I waited it would get harder.
Over a decade later, time has proven me very right. Boyfriend took less than a year to start dating another girl from our high school class (one I had teased him about having a crush on when we dated in high school). They got engaged a week after I did to my current husband--he was still wearing a ring I'd gotten him for his 16th birthday in the engagement photos. They live in our hometown, just popped out a kid, post pictures on Facebook every summer with their vacation trips to [stereotypical New England vacation destination]. He's a lawyer, works for the law firm of a friend of his dad's. I assume they're living in a house their parents bought them in the town we're from. He's living the life he's always wanted to live.
Me? I taught for awhile, but then my husband, who grew up on a farm but wanted to be a scientist, got a research job in Cambridge, England, so I took the opportunity to go back to school to get a PhD in children's literature, which was my dream job before I even knew it was a job. We have no idea what country we're going to be living in in three years--could be back int he states, could be in the UK, could be somewhere else in Europe. All of our friends are similarly transient academics from all over the world. *This* is the life I wanted to live. I would be so unhappy if I'd stayed in the life I knew my high school boyfriend wanted. I have no idea how my 18 year old self knew it, but I'm sure glad I listened to that feeling in my gut.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Lol but seriously if you made it this far good job, didn't expect to write a short essay on a Monday morning.
A month before leaving for college, my family took our annual summer vacation trip to [stereotypical New England vacation destination]. Boyfriend came along, as he had for the past two summers. I don't know what changed, exactly, but at some point during the trip, a switch flipped. I realized that left to itself, our relationship would in fact continue through college, through grad school, boyfriend would become a lawyer, I would become a teacher, we'd move into a house in our hometown that our parents bought, boyfriend would go work for his dad's law firm, we'd have a few kids, buy a vacation house, run some 5ks or maybe 10ks as we got older and realized we needed to keep staying in shape... I don't know, I just saw the whole thing, and I wanted none of it. As sexy and awesome as I found my high school boyfriend, I knew that that's what he wanted--stay in hometown, live a life exactly like the one he grew up with. For whatever reason, it turned me off completely. I broke up with him over that vacation and spent the rest of summer vacation crying my eyes out because he took all our mutual friends with him. Nobody understood why we broke up. Least of all me, to be honest--I just knew that I had to end it, because if I waited it would get harder.
Over a decade later, time has proven me very right. Boyfriend took less than a year to start dating another girl from our high school class (one I had teased him about having a crush on when we dated in high school). They got engaged a week after I did to my current husband--he was still wearing a ring I'd gotten him for his 16th birthday in the engagement photos. They live in our hometown, just popped out a kid, post pictures on Facebook every summer with their vacation trips to [stereotypical New England vacation destination]. He's a lawyer, works for the law firm of a friend of his dad's. I assume they're living in a house their parents bought them in the town we're from. He's living the life he's always wanted to live.
Me? I taught for awhile, but then my husband, who grew up on a farm but wanted to be a scientist, got a research job in Cambridge, England, so I took the opportunity to go back to school to get a PhD in children's literature, which was my dream job before I even knew it was a job. We have no idea what country we're going to be living in in three years--could be back int he states, could be in the UK, could be somewhere else in Europe. All of our friends are similarly transient academics from all over the world. *This* is the life I wanted to live. I would be so unhappy if I'd stayed in the life I knew my high school boyfriend wanted. I have no idea how my 18 year old self knew it, but I'm sure glad I listened to that feeling in my gut.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Lol but seriously if you made it this far good job, didn't expect to write a short essay on a Monday morning.
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145points
#2
We had been dating for over 2 years, and engaged for about 6 months.
Then one night, she bit me twice. Then I slapped her once, and she called the cops.
We were drunk (of course) and got in to an argument about something stupid, and I wanted to let it all go until the morning, when we could talk about it when we were sober. But she was doing that thing she had been doing for a while at that point...refusing to relent until she felt she won the argument. I was going to sleep at her apartment that night, but when she wouldn't stop arguing, I decided to get up and leave.
As I was starting to put my pants on, she tackled me in a fit of rage. Then she bit my arm hard...so much so that she drew blood (I still have the scar.) I squirmed away, but she grabbed my legs and then she bit me again, hard, this time on my a*s cheek. (I still have that scar too, only it's bigger.)
The second bite she wouldn't let go...gnashing on my a*s like a dog with a chew toy. So I grabbed her hair, and pulled, then slapped her.
She was SHOCKED that I would slap her. SHOCKED. She called the cops. They showed up, saw all the blood and that I was the only one bleeding, then arrested her. I was actually kind of surprised by that, but they were reasonable individuals.
I did not want to press charges. I was done with her, and saw no need for them at that point. Turns out the town she lived in has a domestic violence law that compells the prosecutor to file charges without needing me to press charges. She took a deal that put a misdeamenor on her record (vs. felony battery), and a years probation.
About 6 weeks after this incident, I met the woman who is now my wife. This November will be our 22nd wedding anniversary. And in all that time, she has never bitten me, and I have never slapped her.
Then one night, she bit me twice. Then I slapped her once, and she called the cops.
We were drunk (of course) and got in to an argument about something stupid, and I wanted to let it all go until the morning, when we could talk about it when we were sober. But she was doing that thing she had been doing for a while at that point...refusing to relent until she felt she won the argument. I was going to sleep at her apartment that night, but when she wouldn't stop arguing, I decided to get up and leave.
As I was starting to put my pants on, she tackled me in a fit of rage. Then she bit my arm hard...so much so that she drew blood (I still have the scar.) I squirmed away, but she grabbed my legs and then she bit me again, hard, this time on my a*s cheek. (I still have that scar too, only it's bigger.)
The second bite she wouldn't let go...gnashing on my a*s like a dog with a chew toy. So I grabbed her hair, and pulled, then slapped her.
She was SHOCKED that I would slap her. SHOCKED. She called the cops. They showed up, saw all the blood and that I was the only one bleeding, then arrested her. I was actually kind of surprised by that, but they were reasonable individuals.
I did not want to press charges. I was done with her, and saw no need for them at that point. Turns out the town she lived in has a domestic violence law that compells the prosecutor to file charges without needing me to press charges. She took a deal that put a misdeamenor on her record (vs. felony battery), and a years probation.
About 6 weeks after this incident, I met the woman who is now my wife. This November will be our 22nd wedding anniversary. And in all that time, she has never bitten me, and I have never slapped her.
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130points
#3
She cheated on me. Multiple times. On her trip to Europe. Which she is still on. I saw the Facebook messages on the computer where she was still logged in. Then she lied when I called her on it. This all happened about 4 hours ago. I’m at a bit of a loss... I was planning our engagement. I’m glad it happened now I guess. Very rough though.
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89points
To learn more about this topic, we reached out to London Celebrity Therapist and Relationship Counselor Nia Williams from Miss Date Doctor. Nia was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss why most people do not end up marrying the first person they thought they would spend their life with.
"While some are fortunate to find their lifelong partner early on which such a blessing, it's common for many to experience at least one major heartbreak. This is a natural part of life's journey," the expert shared. "Relationships, especially our first serious ones, often serve as profound learning experiences. They teach us about ourselves, our needs, and the dynamics of sharing our lives with another person and major heart break is almost inevitable for most people."
#4
Wow, I can't believe how relevant this thread is to me right now. My dad just dropped me back off at my house from the hospital 45 minutes ago so this literally just happened.(His fiance was watching my son while he took me.)
The last 4 days, my fiance has decided to stay at her new coworkers house either overnight or until well in to the morning. I told her that's ridiculously not ok to do when your engaged, even though she claims it was just stress relief playing video games with a new guy friend. We also have a four month old son that I've been taking care of for the past four days she's been gone, and I've been very sick with what I thought was a stomach bug. Well this morning I fainted, and she insisted I just get some rest and maybe go to urgent care if I dont get better. Then I lost my ability to keep any liquids down and was insistent that she take me to the hospital then go home and take care of our son.
This was too much to ask though, as she'd already made plans to meet this guy again tonight. She walked to her work and left her family behind to go spend the night at his house. I told her that if she chooses to abandon her family to go spend time with another man, who I never accused her of cheating on me with despite the numerous red flags, than her family wont be waiting for her when she gets home. I involved someone in my family out of necessity, so my dad took me to the hospital and his fiance watched my son.
My Fiance's last text to me simply said "I cant come home so I guess I just lose everything."
After multiple chest xrays and an abdomen CT, it turns out I'm not sick, but the stress caused by my relationship started causing massive problems throughout my body. Oh and apparently I have a kidney stone.
I know it was petty but when I got home I just sent her a picture of our son and told her that this was who she chose to give up on tonight.
*Edit: After reading a lot of these other posts, I'm realizing I should probably have left her much sooner.
The last 4 days, my fiance has decided to stay at her new coworkers house either overnight or until well in to the morning. I told her that's ridiculously not ok to do when your engaged, even though she claims it was just stress relief playing video games with a new guy friend. We also have a four month old son that I've been taking care of for the past four days she's been gone, and I've been very sick with what I thought was a stomach bug. Well this morning I fainted, and she insisted I just get some rest and maybe go to urgent care if I dont get better. Then I lost my ability to keep any liquids down and was insistent that she take me to the hospital then go home and take care of our son.
This was too much to ask though, as she'd already made plans to meet this guy again tonight. She walked to her work and left her family behind to go spend the night at his house. I told her that if she chooses to abandon her family to go spend time with another man, who I never accused her of cheating on me with despite the numerous red flags, than her family wont be waiting for her when she gets home. I involved someone in my family out of necessity, so my dad took me to the hospital and his fiance watched my son.
My Fiance's last text to me simply said "I cant come home so I guess I just lose everything."
After multiple chest xrays and an abdomen CT, it turns out I'm not sick, but the stress caused by my relationship started causing massive problems throughout my body. Oh and apparently I have a kidney stone.
I know it was petty but when I got home I just sent her a picture of our son and told her that this was who she chose to give up on tonight.
*Edit: After reading a lot of these other posts, I'm realizing I should probably have left her much sooner.
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85points
#5
She ended her own life last October.
It'll have been a year since she died in six days.
Still breaks my heart. We were already engaged, but she was a very, very troubled woman.
E: I kinda just shot this post out because I was so certain nobody would notice, and I needed to vent. Been breaking down a lot now that I'm approaching the worst day in my life, but it's good to know y'all out there reached out like this. Thanks, everyone.
It'll have been a year since she died in six days.
Still breaks my heart. We were already engaged, but she was a very, very troubled woman.
E: I kinda just shot this post out because I was so certain nobody would notice, and I needed to vent. Been breaking down a lot now that I'm approaching the worst day in my life, but it's good to know y'all out there reached out like this. Thanks, everyone.
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83points
#6
Both of us were alcoholics.
I met him at age 22, he was 26. Love at first sight. It was immediately understood without even speaking of it that we were just going to be together now, and that was that for 2.5 years.
I have still never met someone I have loved entirely as much as I loved him. And when I broke things off with him, I honestly think a piece of my soul died. Because I have truly never been the same since.
My mom and dad were both alcoholics and it f****d up my childhood. I had a drinking problem myself that I didn’t understand yet. My drinking increased when we began dating because it seemed so normal to indulge more with him. The more I drank, the more neurotic and needy I became. The more he drank, the more he just faded away from the world.
He always drank to the point of blacking out and I hated it. I would see his facial expression go kind of blank while we were out, and I’d know he was blacked out, like, nothing there, dead behind the eyes. And I’d wonder where the guy I loved was. I’d tell him we needed to go home and he’d brush it off and refuse. He had to close the bar down no matter what. He’d just always get so f*****g hammered.
Seeing the man I loved really drunk would always trigger this really lonely and dark sadness inside me. I felt invisible like I did to my parents my whole childhood. And he drank like, everyday. He never slept at night so much as he actually just kind of passed out. I always felt like I was sleeping next to a ghost when he was passed out from drinking. I felt like I was dating him, the perfect person, and then also his twin, who had nothing to give and no life inside of him. It was just a shell of him. It broke my heart constantly.
After some time of cyclical arguments (usually while both of us were drunk) I started to realize he didn’t feel like he had an issue, and I wasn’t sure he would ever face it. I wanted to face my issues. I wanted a better life and better mental health. He was not in favor of making changes.
He had socialized with the same group of guys since he was 5, all of whom drank to blackouts regularly, and his dad was a big drinker. They were from a privileged, upper middle class kind of circle where binge drinking was just normal because they went to more expensive bars and only drank craft beers and whatnot. Idk how to explain it. But there was a disconnect there between us. There was no part of his life that didn’t revolve around alcohol and I knew if I didn’t get away from that lifestyle, I was going to end up miserable or maybe even dead.
I still fight for my sobriety every day. He just got married last month. I saw photos from the wedding, where he had a drink in his hand in every photo and the same blank, drunk expression I could never cope with. I wish him the best, and I still miss him everyday. I f*****g hate alcohol for all of the s**t in life that it absolutely destroys.
I met him at age 22, he was 26. Love at first sight. It was immediately understood without even speaking of it that we were just going to be together now, and that was that for 2.5 years.
I have still never met someone I have loved entirely as much as I loved him. And when I broke things off with him, I honestly think a piece of my soul died. Because I have truly never been the same since.
My mom and dad were both alcoholics and it f****d up my childhood. I had a drinking problem myself that I didn’t understand yet. My drinking increased when we began dating because it seemed so normal to indulge more with him. The more I drank, the more neurotic and needy I became. The more he drank, the more he just faded away from the world.
He always drank to the point of blacking out and I hated it. I would see his facial expression go kind of blank while we were out, and I’d know he was blacked out, like, nothing there, dead behind the eyes. And I’d wonder where the guy I loved was. I’d tell him we needed to go home and he’d brush it off and refuse. He had to close the bar down no matter what. He’d just always get so f*****g hammered.
Seeing the man I loved really drunk would always trigger this really lonely and dark sadness inside me. I felt invisible like I did to my parents my whole childhood. And he drank like, everyday. He never slept at night so much as he actually just kind of passed out. I always felt like I was sleeping next to a ghost when he was passed out from drinking. I felt like I was dating him, the perfect person, and then also his twin, who had nothing to give and no life inside of him. It was just a shell of him. It broke my heart constantly.
After some time of cyclical arguments (usually while both of us were drunk) I started to realize he didn’t feel like he had an issue, and I wasn’t sure he would ever face it. I wanted to face my issues. I wanted a better life and better mental health. He was not in favor of making changes.
He had socialized with the same group of guys since he was 5, all of whom drank to blackouts regularly, and his dad was a big drinker. They were from a privileged, upper middle class kind of circle where binge drinking was just normal because they went to more expensive bars and only drank craft beers and whatnot. Idk how to explain it. But there was a disconnect there between us. There was no part of his life that didn’t revolve around alcohol and I knew if I didn’t get away from that lifestyle, I was going to end up miserable or maybe even dead.
I still fight for my sobriety every day. He just got married last month. I saw photos from the wedding, where he had a drink in his hand in every photo and the same blank, drunk expression I could never cope with. I wish him the best, and I still miss him everyday. I f*****g hate alcohol for all of the s**t in life that it absolutely destroys.
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79points
We also asked Nia if it's good for daters to experience a painful heartbreak at some point. "While it may not feel so beneficial at the time, going through a significant break-up can be incredibly valuable," she shared. "Such experiences often teach resilience, self-awareness, and the importance of setting healthy boundaries. They allow us to understand what we truly need in a partner and what we can offer in return."
"Through the pain, we learn to appreciate the qualities that matter most to us and recognize the importance of compatibility and mutual respect. There is no greater mirror on who we are and what we want than when we get into a relationship," Nia explained. "I have personally seen so many of my clients become so much more emotionally intelligent after a brutal break up. Although painful, it can help us do better in future and know what we truly want from a partner."
#7
I've been engaged twice. First one ended after meeting my family for the first time, my fiance made fun of my brother, who is very intelligent but sometimes socially awkward, for half the ride home. I slept on it, then gave the ring back the next day. F**k that guy.
The second engagement, we dated for 3 years and got engaged after 2. The closer it got, the more he decided he wanted to have children immediately, wanted me to stay home with them, and then said, "Knowing that, I'm wondering if it's worth it for you to continue grad school." (I was just starting my second year of my master's program) Buh-bye.
The second engagement, we dated for 3 years and got engaged after 2. The closer it got, the more he decided he wanted to have children immediately, wanted me to stay home with them, and then said, "Knowing that, I'm wondering if it's worth it for you to continue grad school." (I was just starting my second year of my master's program) Buh-bye.
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77points
#8
Every time we fought she would throw her engagement ring somewhere, make me get it, then make me plead with her to put it back on. Even for very small disagreements and even in public. That was the final straw. It was very f****d up feeling begging somebody to be with me all the time. It gave he huge insecurity issues.
That was on top of the fact she began to call me names and hit me a lot. It all started after we got engaged for some reason. Things were so perfect but as soon as she got that ring everything changed. Suddenly she what I mentioned along with calling me a loser, piece of s**t, and ugly a lot.
That was on top of the fact she began to call me names and hit me a lot. It all started after we got engaged for some reason. Things were so perfect but as soon as she got that ring everything changed. Suddenly she what I mentioned along with calling me a loser, piece of s**t, and ugly a lot.
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74points
#9
Tbh I’m pretty sure he lost his mind.
He was constantly accusing me of cheating, going through my phone and emails, jumping down my throat if I ran late at work. Calling my work when he found something he felt was incriminating to berate me and threaten to throw me out.
He took texts and emails he found between me and another guy, whom I was dating during a 9 month period where we’d broken up, and used that to berate me and call me a whore because even though we were BROKEN UP “we still meant something to each other and I shouldn’t have done it.”
He was so cruel. He’d put me down and make me cry, then mock me for it. Anytime I tried to defend myself he’d tell me he was the only thing standing between me and standing in line at the Salvation Army and to be careful how I spoke to him.
I was on my knees at one point, begging and crying for him not to leave me. I loved that man like a senseless fool.
Everything kind of blew up when I went to the beach for a day with a friend and he basically accused me of slutting my way up and down the coast.
It was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had reached the event horizon for my tolerance of emotional manipulation and abuse.
Huge argument ensued, we broke up. I got home and he’d already packed my s**t and I left right then.
I was homeless for a bit, but I had my dignity and self respect back.
He was constantly accusing me of cheating, going through my phone and emails, jumping down my throat if I ran late at work. Calling my work when he found something he felt was incriminating to berate me and threaten to throw me out.
He took texts and emails he found between me and another guy, whom I was dating during a 9 month period where we’d broken up, and used that to berate me and call me a whore because even though we were BROKEN UP “we still meant something to each other and I shouldn’t have done it.”
He was so cruel. He’d put me down and make me cry, then mock me for it. Anytime I tried to defend myself he’d tell me he was the only thing standing between me and standing in line at the Salvation Army and to be careful how I spoke to him.
I was on my knees at one point, begging and crying for him not to leave me. I loved that man like a senseless fool.
Everything kind of blew up when I went to the beach for a day with a friend and he basically accused me of slutting my way up and down the coast.
It was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. I couldn’t do it anymore. I had reached the event horizon for my tolerance of emotional manipulation and abuse.
Huge argument ensued, we broke up. I got home and he’d already packed my s**t and I left right then.
I was homeless for a bit, but I had my dignity and self respect back.
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67points
The counselor also provided some advice for anyone going through a painful break-up of their own. "Experiencing a major heartbreak is undeniably tough, and it's important to allow yourself to grieve. Here are a few pieces of advice for navigating this difficult time: allow yourself to feel," Nia says. "It's okay to be sad, angry, or confused. These emotions are a natural part of the healing process."
Next, the expert recommends seeking support. "Lean on friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your feelings with trusted individuals can provide comfort and perspective," she told Bored Panda.
#10
I was engaged to a guy I'd dated for 3 years and planning a destination wedding. He cheated with a mutual friend one night. His mom (who he lived with while we were apartment hunting) accidentally walked in on them in the middle of it while letting the dogs out. He didn't know his mom had seen, but his mom called me and told me what happened. He denied it when I confronted him which made it worse. Called off the wedding and broke up, etc.
Weirdly enough, he got married about 5 years later to someone else in the exact same destination wedding location/venue/package/colors I had always dreamed of and planned out for us. He must have kept my planning binder and just reused it or something.
Edit: whoa this blew up! Made a clarity edit because guy did not sleep with his mom. Answering some questions here:
1) Could his mom have been wrong/was it a plot to break you up?
No. He finally came clean after I said his mom had walked in on him and called me. And the mutual friend admitted it to me too when I confronted her. His mom was basically sobbing when she called me because she didn't want us to break up, but knew she should tell me. I'm actually sad about losing the mom so much more than my ex. She was awesome! Some other things were revealed about him later too like he lied about finishing his degree at university and had failed out instead. I dodged a big bullet for sure.
2) What happened to the mutual friend?
Well, she and I definitely stopped being friends. She wasn't even apologetic when I confronted her. She had also been in a relationship that she broke off. They ended up dating for a while after that which was a bit of a mess because my ex and I ran a large, well-known community together. The rumors of what happened got out, but I attempted to be civil about it for the sake of the community. They, however, parked in the front window of the weekly venue and made out for everyone to see as a way of announcing their relationship. Super classy.
3) What happened to me?
I ended up moving across the country a few months later, meeting the man who is now my awesome husband of 8 years, and we just had our first kid last year. I'm much happier with this outcome!
Weirdly enough, he got married about 5 years later to someone else in the exact same destination wedding location/venue/package/colors I had always dreamed of and planned out for us. He must have kept my planning binder and just reused it or something.
Edit: whoa this blew up! Made a clarity edit because guy did not sleep with his mom. Answering some questions here:
1) Could his mom have been wrong/was it a plot to break you up?
No. He finally came clean after I said his mom had walked in on him and called me. And the mutual friend admitted it to me too when I confronted her. His mom was basically sobbing when she called me because she didn't want us to break up, but knew she should tell me. I'm actually sad about losing the mom so much more than my ex. She was awesome! Some other things were revealed about him later too like he lied about finishing his degree at university and had failed out instead. I dodged a big bullet for sure.
2) What happened to the mutual friend?
Well, she and I definitely stopped being friends. She wasn't even apologetic when I confronted her. She had also been in a relationship that she broke off. They ended up dating for a while after that which was a bit of a mess because my ex and I ran a large, well-known community together. The rumors of what happened got out, but I attempted to be civil about it for the sake of the community. They, however, parked in the front window of the weekly venue and made out for everyone to see as a way of announcing their relationship. Super classy.
3) What happened to me?
I ended up moving across the country a few months later, meeting the man who is now my awesome husband of 8 years, and we just had our first kid last year. I'm much happier with this outcome!
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58points
#11
My mom was dying. It was my last Thanksgiving with her. Without discussing it with me first, he had his mom buy him plane tickets to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, and asked if I wanted to go with him. No. I am not missing the last Thanksgiving I can ever spend with my mom. We will have our whole lives to spend Thanksgiving with your family after this. You’re leaving me to face this one alone, or to abandon my mother on her last Thanksgiving?
It was suddenly very clear (being happy to cancel wedding plans to do it later, and many other things) that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, but wouldn’t break up with me, because my mom was dying, and he was too nice a guy to dump his fiancée who’s mom was dying.
To his credit, we remained close friends, and he continued to be there as my best friend and emotional support through her death, and some months following. Although it was 8 years ago, we still chat/text a few times a year, and catch up on how our families are doing.
Edit: December 20^th, 2018. I just got a call telling me he died today. It was tragic; he was a kind person, and only 36. RIP, my friend.
It was suddenly very clear (being happy to cancel wedding plans to do it later, and many other things) that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, but wouldn’t break up with me, because my mom was dying, and he was too nice a guy to dump his fiancée who’s mom was dying.
To his credit, we remained close friends, and he continued to be there as my best friend and emotional support through her death, and some months following. Although it was 8 years ago, we still chat/text a few times a year, and catch up on how our families are doing.
Edit: December 20^th, 2018. I just got a call telling me he died today. It was tragic; he was a kind person, and only 36. RIP, my friend.
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57points
#12
Found credit card statement on the floor once, just before a family holiday. £thousands in debt that he'd never told me about. I'd been paying the rent entirely by myself in a job I hated and I was too young and naïve (23) to realise he wasn't an honest man. That was it.
edit: we still chat every now and again. We wanted different things in life, so the argument that followed was the straw that broke the camels back. My next partner (now husband) had a lot of debt from a failed business, but the difference was he was honest about it, so I didn't care. Money doesn't trump love, but honesty is the bedrock of any relationship.
edit: we still chat every now and again. We wanted different things in life, so the argument that followed was the straw that broke the camels back. My next partner (now husband) had a lot of debt from a failed business, but the difference was he was honest about it, so I didn't care. Money doesn't trump love, but honesty is the bedrock of any relationship.
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56points
It's also recommended to focus on self-care. "Engage in activities that nurture your well-being. Exercise, hobbies, and mindfulness practices can help you reconnect with yourself," Nia noted.
"Reflect and grow: Take time to understand what the relationship taught you. Use these insights to grow as an individual and better prepare for future relationships," the therapist continued. And finally, she urges those going through break-ups to stay hopeful. "Remember that healing takes time, but you will get through this. Believe in the possibility of future happiness and love."
#13
He was obsessed in making me look/speak better. He would control my food intake and make me exercise everyday. Whenever i was out with him i have to wear heels..dress well and he would point out what other girls were wearing and that i should try on. Putting make up is a must even when I'm on a plane.
I wasn't allow to speak other language aside from english and not allowed to watch dramas that is trash to him.
My last straw was him asking me to consider to get a boobs job when i lost so much weight from all the exercise/controlled diet. I realised i cannot live this way anymore and he will never be satisfied ever.
Even though I still love him but I was mentally drained and constantly felt that I was ugly and unworthy.
I wasn't allow to speak other language aside from english and not allowed to watch dramas that is trash to him.
My last straw was him asking me to consider to get a boobs job when i lost so much weight from all the exercise/controlled diet. I realised i cannot live this way anymore and he will never be satisfied ever.
Even though I still love him but I was mentally drained and constantly felt that I was ugly and unworthy.
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55points
#14
She was already married. We worked together at job you couldn't wear rings. She hid it very well. I was the other guy. Found out when I proposed and had to tell me shes married.
Edit: we worked as military aircraft mechanics. We were 'together' for about 9 months before I proposed.
Edit: we worked as military aircraft mechanics. We were 'together' for about 9 months before I proposed.
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49points
#15
She wanted to go to Florida for the Disney college program. (She is a huuuge Disney nerd.) She was too scared she would lose me. I convinced her to do it because if she didn't, she would regret it forever and that no matter what happened I would still be here for her. 6 months and an engagement ring later she told me that while in Florida she realized she didn't love me like she thought she had. The ring is in a box in the back of a drawer in my dresser. Her worst fear came true. So did mine.
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47points
"It's important to remember that every relationship, even those that end in heartbreak, contributes to our personal growth and understanding of love. It's okay to mourn the loss but also recognize the strength and resilience you gain through these experiences," Nia added.
"You're not alone in your journey, and with time, the pain will subside, making way for new beginnings and opportunities for deeper connections. It is also important not to personalize or put yourself down," the therapist noted. "Rejection happens, and heartbreak happens. Do not feel that this has decreased your value in any way. There are over 7 billion people in the world, and one is for you. Don't give up."
#16
He cheated. And got another woman pregnant. Then called me a few weeks later asking me to be the child's god mother, because he "knows I'm really good with kids." 🙃.
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47points
#17
I found out the guy was no longer working when I called to see why his paychecks hadn’t come in. (I handled the finances for us, and he kept saying his boss would be sending it.) It turned out he quit, and instead of telling me, spent the next few weeks pretending to work. Instead he started going to strip clubs on what little money he had hoarded.
When I went to break it off with him, he punched his hand through the wall and lost his mind. By the time he finally calmed down, he had turned strangely morose. He looked at me and asked if we could have sex one last time.
My response : “No.”
Him after a long pause, sifting through his pockets and holding out a dollar bill. : “I’ll pay you a dollar to sleep with me. It’s all I have left.”
Needless to say, he left with a dollar in his pocket and no final goodbye.
EDIT : I can’t believe so many people read this! I honestly expected it to be passed over, so thank you all for taking the time and sharing your questions, comments, and well wishes. I’m sad to say while this instance was odd, I have a few more relationship stories that were even crazier. >.< Apparently, I know how to pick them. Hahahaha
For those that were concerned, the guy ended up doing alright. Anger management, lots of partying, and a few years passed before he found himself with a little one on the way. He’s quite happy and enjoying his newest addition. :3.
When I went to break it off with him, he punched his hand through the wall and lost his mind. By the time he finally calmed down, he had turned strangely morose. He looked at me and asked if we could have sex one last time.
My response : “No.”
Him after a long pause, sifting through his pockets and holding out a dollar bill. : “I’ll pay you a dollar to sleep with me. It’s all I have left.”
Needless to say, he left with a dollar in his pocket and no final goodbye.
EDIT : I can’t believe so many people read this! I honestly expected it to be passed over, so thank you all for taking the time and sharing your questions, comments, and well wishes. I’m sad to say while this instance was odd, I have a few more relationship stories that were even crazier. >.< Apparently, I know how to pick them. Hahahaha
For those that were concerned, the guy ended up doing alright. Anger management, lots of partying, and a few years passed before he found himself with a little one on the way. He’s quite happy and enjoying his newest addition. :3.
46points
#18
Completly unable to manage money. Spent every dollar he came across on gaming & weed and constantly put off paying important bills. Wouldve dragged us both into bankruptcy if I wouldve stayed w him.
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46points
#19
She was in love with my best friend. And they were both in denial about it. They were engaged a month after we broke up.
Edit: Answering questions.
They both told me nothing physical happened and I believe them but they hung out a lot (which was pretty normal because we were all friends in high school) and I'm pretty sure they were already emotionally involved because she started to drift away (emotionally). They were both nice about it and asked if I'd be okay. I said yes because they seemed like they would be happy together and I cared about them both but I don't hang out with them all that much because as nice as I try to be about it I still feel betrayed. I still talk to my best friend every once in a while but it doesn't ever really get any deeper than the "what are you up to these days?" texts.
And for everyone commenting been there and me too: I'm truly sorry. I sincerely believe that there's someone for everyone. Whoever you lost wasn't that person. As they say in Meet the Robinsons: "Keep moving forward.".
Edit: Answering questions.
They both told me nothing physical happened and I believe them but they hung out a lot (which was pretty normal because we were all friends in high school) and I'm pretty sure they were already emotionally involved because she started to drift away (emotionally). They were both nice about it and asked if I'd be okay. I said yes because they seemed like they would be happy together and I cared about them both but I don't hang out with them all that much because as nice as I try to be about it I still feel betrayed. I still talk to my best friend every once in a while but it doesn't ever really get any deeper than the "what are you up to these days?" texts.
And for everyone commenting been there and me too: I'm truly sorry. I sincerely believe that there's someone for everyone. Whoever you lost wasn't that person. As they say in Meet the Robinsons: "Keep moving forward.".
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44points
#20
I moved across the world for him. He kept telling me “one day I want to propose.” Or “I can’t wait for you to be my wife.” That proposal never came, and I was having visa issues, so after a few years I gave up and moved back.
43points