Planning a wedding can be stressful. Especially as the big day fast approaches. For a bride, one of the most important details is the dress. Many will go to great lengths to find one that fits perfectly and makes them feel like a million bucks. One woman shared how she had a replica of her grandmother’s wedding dress specially made. And how she carefully kept it in a garment bag, stashed away in her closet.
To the woman’s horror, she found her dress cut up and destroyed a week before her wedding. The culprit? Her 12-year-old future stepdaughter, who shrugged off the crime, calling the bride “a fat cow”. The woman is devastated. She's even considering calling off the wedding, along with the entire relationship. But she’s not sure if she should.
Getting married is not a decision to be taken lightly, and when you're marrying someone who has kids, there's even more to consider
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This woman thought she was prepared for a blended family, until her future stepdaughter pulled the ultimate wicked move days before the wedding
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Prostock-studio/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRA_AngryBride
Marrying someone with kids from a previous relationship can get tricky
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When you enter into a relationship with someone who already has children, you might not be fully prepared for what the future holds. Many times, you won’t just be dealing with the child or children, but the other parent as well. And your spouse. There are different personalities involved. And everyone will have to find a way to make things work.
"Know what their dynamic is, like the parents' dynamic, and if that's something that you can deal with and want to deal with,” cautioned one woman, who married a man who had two children from a previous relationship and custody of his goddaughter. “It needs to be a situation where it won't bother you in the long run," said Lashawnda Wilson.
Things to take into consideration include whether the parents are on good terms. Do they co-parent well? Are they amicable? If they're constantly fighting, don't seem to agree on things and struggle to get along, you might find yourself facing an uphill battle once you enter the fray.
You might want to take your rose-tinted glasses off before you walk down the aisle
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Blended families aren't for everyone. Theory is different from reality especially when it comes to blended families, notes wedding planning website The Knot. "When marrying someone with a child from a previous relationship there may be bumps in the road and it's essential you're honest about whether you can ride them out," reads the site.
If you feel that you aren't okay with the possibility of a bumpy future, you shouldn't feel bad admitting it. Sooner rather than later. Heidi Farrell runs the Not Just A Stepmom blog, and agrees. If you have deal breakers, and the warning bells are ringing, listen to them," advised Farrell. "It’s better to cut off a relationship with a man with kids cleanly before investing time, money and your heart…just to feel resentful – or trapped – later."
Despite the challenges, many couples are able to make their blended family marriages work. Experts say communication is key. "Being on the same page as your partner, cooperating with the children’s co-parents, and giving the kids time to adjust to the new normal is key," notes VeryWell Mind.
And if you do it right, "with time, you and your crew will be able to create your own family traditions, build strong bonds, and make new memories together as a family."
"Is this the future you want?" Many people shared their own similar experiences, and warned the bride to run for the hills
