In a tradition that seems as old as time, a bride’s father is the one to walk her down the aisle. But what if there is no father? Nowadays, some brides choose alternatives: they have their mothers, uncles, aunts, grandfathers, or even brothers escort them. Sometimes, that person might be the stepfather.
This bride, however, refused to have her stepfather walk her down the aisle and asked her uncle to do it instead. When confronted by her angry mother, she revealed how he mistreated her during her childhood and is the last person on Earth she would want next to her during her big day. Her confession opened a can of worms, causing family members to stop speaking to each other and her mother to possibly even skip the wedding.
A bride-to-be caused family drama by refusing to let her stepdad walk her down the aisle
She had no warm feelings towards him since he bullied her during childhood and wanted her uncle to do it
Even today, most brides want their fathers to give them away at the altar
Times change, and so do traditions. What was once true doesn’t have to be true a generation or a few generations later. Weddings are a great example. Some people still prefer tradition: brides have their fathers walk them down the aisle and “give them away” to the groom, take their husband’s last name, and wear white. Others make different choices, whether because of their circumstances or simply because they don’t feel the need to adhere to traditions.
However, in the U.S., tradition is still prevalent in most weddings. For example, when asked what they think about a father giving his daughter away, 71% and 68% of Americans say they either love or like that practice.
When it comes to who escorts them down the aisle, most brides nowadays have some sort of father figure do it. When Easy Weddings asked 1,776 of their readers who would be walking them down the aisle, fathers were the most common answer at 57%. The second most popular answer was “a friend” or “another relative” at only 13%. Smaller percentages of brides also have chosen both of their parents to escort them or decided to walk down the aisle by themselves.
The tradition is so old that sometimes people forget where it even came from. In the past, the “giving away” of the bride wasn’t just symbolic — as her father's property, the woman was literally given away in exchange for a dowry. Today, it symbolizes love between a daughter and her father, familial bonds, and the joining of two families.
If the love for a stepfather just isn’t there, the bride shouldn’t be forced to have him escort her down the aisle. Choosing a family member that is the next best thing to a father can be just as acceptable, especially given the difficult relationship between this bride and her stepfather.
Still, there are many alternatives to the traditional walk down the aisle with your father
The tradition may seem antiquated, sure, but it’s still important to many people. Lara Mahler, owner and chief planner of the wedding planning company THE PRIVILEGE IS MINE, explained to Brides that it can be “a gesture of uniting families and showing love and respect for the new marriage.”
To make the tradition seem less antiquated and misogynistic, some brides choose to walk down the aisle with both parents — then it symbolizes the end of her life with them and a beginning of her life with the groom and the formation of a new family unit.
When brides walk down the aisle by themselves, it’s to show that it’s their decision and not their family’s. Some couples demonstrate their commitment and solidarity by walking down the aisle together. LGBTQ+ couples reinvent the tradition: men are three times more likely to walk down the aisle together, while women are most often escorted by a friend or family member.
In the end, Mahler agrees that it’s about what the couple wants and what makes them the most comfortable and happiest. “The beauty of getting married today is that there are no rules, and couples can make the decision that works for their partnership as well as their family dynamic.”
Most commenters sided with the bride, telling her that she didn’t have to please anybody else during her wedding
However, some thought she was being too childish
