Most people believe that cheating is a deal-breaker in a romantic relationship. In fact, one U.K. survey found that 80% of respondents claimed that their relationship would be over if they found out that their partner had cheated. But life isn’t black and white. And in reality, nearly 50% of marriages that have faced infidelity are still standing, at least in the short-term.
Redditors have recently been discussing the reasons why people choose to give their cheating spouses second chances, so we’ve gathered a list of their brutally honest replies below. Apparently, it’s not always as simple as forgiveness. Sometimes, people convince themselves that staying together makes the most sense logistically. Keep reading to gain some insight into these marriages.
#41
It was a symptom of another problem. Not only was she hiding the cheating, she was a chronic alcoholic. Like bottles of liquor throughout the week. Once confronted, she joined AA, got clean, went to therapy, and it all culminated into fixing a lot of issues in her life. She has been nothing but wonderful and trustworthy since being sober.
It took a lot for me not to leave (her committing to everything above) but it ended up being the right decision and the difference was extremely noticeable. 10 years clean next month and a happy relationship since.
It took a lot for me not to leave (her committing to everything above) but it ended up being the right decision and the difference was extremely noticeable. 10 years clean next month and a happy relationship since.
Report
7points
#42
I was pregnant when I found out, not when it happened. I felt like I needed to just move on with our lives and hope for the best. We’ve been together for 4 years now and we’re both very happy.
For context it was a drunk kiss, so I’m able to look past it. I was mad but not raging.
For context it was a drunk kiss, so I’m able to look past it. I was mad but not raging.
Report
5points
#43
I had zero self esteem at the time, and also the thought of telling people embarrassed me so much I just chose to stay. So I guess zero self esteem and a hurt ego.
Report
5points
#44
It was before marrying her. It was during her being away studying abroad. She came clean, looked remorseful, we dated for several more years, then got married. Never had an issue of that nature ever since.
Report
4points
#45
It was a hard choice between which decision makes me less unhappy being on my own or being with her knowing what happened. We are in our mid 50’s, a lot to give up financially and possessions. It was a drunken mistake although she stayed in touch with him for a few months after it happened they never met up again. The incident happened on holiday there are many factors I won’t go into here.
We both found being apart we couldn’t manage without each other was almost pining for her, so we have got back together been fine so far although just coming up to the first anniversary of the incident so my anxiety is raised.
We both found being apart we couldn’t manage without each other was almost pining for her, so we have got back together been fine so far although just coming up to the first anniversary of the incident so my anxiety is raised.
Report
3points
#46
I liked her as a person and didn’t want to lose her despite the fact. Problem was even though i stayed i wasn’t going to let that slide and ended up cheating back. 😭.
Report
3points
#47
I loved her so much that I saw it was in my best intrest to forgive her.
Report
2points
#48
Because I have my own issues with monogamy and I know love is complicated and messy.
Report
2points
#49
Because I was an alcoholic and I wasn't showing any real progress. Additionally, I was dragging my feet on the topic of children, something she was hopeful for. I was neglecting her needs, so she started looking elsewhere. It took her leaving me to wake me up, but in that moment I had a paradigm shift. All of the things I thought were impossible were suddenly quite possible. But her mind was already made up.
While the divorce was pending and we were still married she slept with him when she said she wouldn't. It wasn't entirely her fault, he showed up unannounced while she was out of town for a funeral (her family facilitated this surprise) and she gave in. After all they were going to marry after our divorce.
I kept trying. We divorced. I spoke with her as often as I could. I kept fighting.
He turned out to be a piece of trash and I won her back because I made the changes she needed. When she came home we aired out every single secret. I didn't care. I am just happy to have her back.
Sometimes it's even a little bit fun to think about when we are naughty and pretending.
While the divorce was pending and we were still married she slept with him when she said she wouldn't. It wasn't entirely her fault, he showed up unannounced while she was out of town for a funeral (her family facilitated this surprise) and she gave in. After all they were going to marry after our divorce.
I kept trying. We divorced. I spoke with her as often as I could. I kept fighting.
He turned out to be a piece of trash and I won her back because I made the changes she needed. When she came home we aired out every single secret. I didn't care. I am just happy to have her back.
Sometimes it's even a little bit fun to think about when we are naughty and pretending.
Report
-3points
