According to the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, divorce is the second most stressful life event, right after the death of a spouse. It can turn a person’s entire world upside down, and when one partner decides to make the process as difficult as possible, things can get even worse.
That is why it can feel so satisfying when their behavior finally catches up with them. One Redditor asked divorce lawyers to share stories of people who tried to use the system against their ex, only to have their tactics backfire. We gathered some of the most memorable examples below. Scroll down to read them for yourself.
#1
Not a lawyer but "a spouse finally getting their karma in court" absolutely happened during my divorce.
After a cr*ppy marriage filled with emotional and financial a***e, we finally separated and I filed for divorce. Ex made a lot more than I did and I wiped out my entire savings hiring a lawyer because exactly one session of mediation and it was pretty clear he had no intention of being reasonable or meeting anywhere near the middle without someone legally forcing him to.
So I got a lawyer and he decided he didn't need one. Despite this, I walked into this thing just wanting to move on and more than willing to make major compromises in order to get it over with and get my life back, but we didn't even get that far in the discussion.
Instead, we would schedule a meeting and instead of anything moving forward, he would just push papers around the table for 2 hours and nitpick over insignificant details. I was just watching my retainer fee drain away and at some point I became suspicious that this is exactly what he was trying to do until finally he said it out loud and word for word one day as we were walking out of my lawyer's office. He was dragging it out until I couldn't afford representation. I was in tears when I walked into my lawyer's office and told her this while feeling completely helpless.
At this point she cackled (literally) and told me to let him. Turns out the two years he spent pushing papers around the table meant that in less than 2 months, we would have been married 10 years which meant that I was entitled to half of his pension.
She declared that we were done with negotiations and scheduled a formal court date for a week after our 10 year anniversary. Not only did she ensure that I got far more than anything I originally offered, but also got the judge to make him pay all of my legal fees. The look on his face when he found out about the pension and realized he did it to himself was priceless.
After a cr*ppy marriage filled with emotional and financial a***e, we finally separated and I filed for divorce. Ex made a lot more than I did and I wiped out my entire savings hiring a lawyer because exactly one session of mediation and it was pretty clear he had no intention of being reasonable or meeting anywhere near the middle without someone legally forcing him to.
So I got a lawyer and he decided he didn't need one. Despite this, I walked into this thing just wanting to move on and more than willing to make major compromises in order to get it over with and get my life back, but we didn't even get that far in the discussion.
Instead, we would schedule a meeting and instead of anything moving forward, he would just push papers around the table for 2 hours and nitpick over insignificant details. I was just watching my retainer fee drain away and at some point I became suspicious that this is exactly what he was trying to do until finally he said it out loud and word for word one day as we were walking out of my lawyer's office. He was dragging it out until I couldn't afford representation. I was in tears when I walked into my lawyer's office and told her this while feeling completely helpless.
At this point she cackled (literally) and told me to let him. Turns out the two years he spent pushing papers around the table meant that in less than 2 months, we would have been married 10 years which meant that I was entitled to half of his pension.
She declared that we were done with negotiations and scheduled a formal court date for a week after our 10 year anniversary. Not only did she ensure that I got far more than anything I originally offered, but also got the judge to make him pay all of my legal fees. The look on his face when he found out about the pension and realized he did it to himself was priceless.
141points
#2
Oh god. Sweet woman I grew up with married this guy. They had 2 kids. The younger one was born severely disabled. She will need care 24/7 her entire life.
It’s rough.
So he has an affair with a coworker and files for divorce. His idea for custody is that he gets the house and the healthy kid, and she and the disabled kid will just kind of … evaporate? His life will go on, just without any of the inconvenience.
They go to court. This guy literally stands there and tells the judge that’s what he wants.
Sweet baby Jesus.
The judge ripped him a new one. Gave her custody of both kids. And the house. And the newer car. Awarded her alimony WAY above what she asked for because he added up what it would cost for her to get some respite care for the daughter, and tacked some more on just because. And it doesn’t end at 18 because her needs will not end at 18.
The judge did everything short of turning the guy over his knee and spanking him.
It’s rough.
So he has an affair with a coworker and files for divorce. His idea for custody is that he gets the house and the healthy kid, and she and the disabled kid will just kind of … evaporate? His life will go on, just without any of the inconvenience.
They go to court. This guy literally stands there and tells the judge that’s what he wants.
Sweet baby Jesus.
The judge ripped him a new one. Gave her custody of both kids. And the house. And the newer car. Awarded her alimony WAY above what she asked for because he added up what it would cost for her to get some respite care for the daughter, and tacked some more on just because. And it doesn’t end at 18 because her needs will not end at 18.
The judge did everything short of turning the guy over his knee and spanking him.
124points
#3
The spouse who hid assets in a hobby collection only for the judge to be a fellow enthusiast who knew the real value. Watching the appraisal dismantle their lies in real-time was chef’s kiss.
80points
#4
My sister married a total d*******g. He had a big temper and hated being told no.
After more than a decade of a***e culminated in a broken humerus (not funny), my sister finally filed for divorce. She was a stay-at-home mom who had left college and quit her job to raise the kids since her husband made a good living in tech sales.
The husband simply wasn't involved in his two kids' lives, but wanted to weaponize custody (and the divorce process) to punish the ex-wife.
Judge started the custody/divorce proceedings by saying 'this state defaults to 50/50 custody unless there's any reason one parent is not fit'. Husband was pissed and so tried a hundred different ways to prove my sister wasn't a good parent. Lies about her drinking (she didn't drink), how she was negligent (she did all the cooking, cleaning, and medical care). Sister's lawyer was hitting back on every point and had documentation to prove it.
Judge eventually snapped and said:
> Alright, Mr. Smith. What are your children's shoe sizes? Who is their pediatrician? What are their favorite subjects in school?
And the husband just kinda stumbled and tried to claim the then-middle-school daughter didn't have a favorite subject, to which the mother replied:
> [Daughter]'s favorite subject is photography. It's all she talks about. She walks around all day with a camera around her neck. She's currently at a photography summer camp that you had to sign a permission slip for.
The husband was furious and called her a "f*****g b***h" in the court room and the judge absolutely upbraided him.
The judge assigned sister 80% custody and a *hefty* child support and alimony.
He tried tons of shenanigans including filing to get payments reduced saying he'd been unemployed, and it got so bad that eventually his mom provided documentation to the court that he was lying and making more than a quarter million dollars / yr.
Sister's doing fine; just finished her DNP and one kid just graduated college and the other is doing well.
After more than a decade of a***e culminated in a broken humerus (not funny), my sister finally filed for divorce. She was a stay-at-home mom who had left college and quit her job to raise the kids since her husband made a good living in tech sales.
The husband simply wasn't involved in his two kids' lives, but wanted to weaponize custody (and the divorce process) to punish the ex-wife.
Judge started the custody/divorce proceedings by saying 'this state defaults to 50/50 custody unless there's any reason one parent is not fit'. Husband was pissed and so tried a hundred different ways to prove my sister wasn't a good parent. Lies about her drinking (she didn't drink), how she was negligent (she did all the cooking, cleaning, and medical care). Sister's lawyer was hitting back on every point and had documentation to prove it.
Judge eventually snapped and said:
> Alright, Mr. Smith. What are your children's shoe sizes? Who is their pediatrician? What are their favorite subjects in school?
And the husband just kinda stumbled and tried to claim the then-middle-school daughter didn't have a favorite subject, to which the mother replied:
> [Daughter]'s favorite subject is photography. It's all she talks about. She walks around all day with a camera around her neck. She's currently at a photography summer camp that you had to sign a permission slip for.
The husband was furious and called her a "f*****g b***h" in the court room and the judge absolutely upbraided him.
The judge assigned sister 80% custody and a *hefty* child support and alimony.
He tried tons of shenanigans including filing to get payments reduced saying he'd been unemployed, and it got so bad that eventually his mom provided documentation to the court that he was lying and making more than a quarter million dollars / yr.
Sister's doing fine; just finished her DNP and one kid just graduated college and the other is doing well.
78points
#5
I’m a spouse.
My now ex husband was an a*****e a hole that I physically stayed with for way too long. When I finally left him, and filed for divorce he refused to fill out and sign the paperwork for an additional 6 years. I eventually took a day from work and went to his mom’s house, where he was living. Blocked his truck into his driveway with my car and knocked on the door. I then refused to leave until he signed the papers.
FF to our court date, and the mf’r was a no show.
It was a simple divorce. All I wanted was to go back to my maiden name. I wasn’t looking for a penny from him. We had no kids. No property together. He was just continuing his a***e.
The judge saw my distress and had a court clerk take me to an office where he then called the three numbers my husband had listed. No answer at two. So he called the work #.
And boy was my ex pissed! Court clerk told him flat out that even though he’d disregarded the court date. That I was going to be granted my request for divorce and to go back to my maiden name.
I could hear him swearing😀
We went back to the courtroom. And the clerk went and spoke to the judge. An hour later I walked out a free woman.
I didn’t hear from my ex for years. Until one day he reached out to me via FB and asked me for my copy of the divorce decree. He was supposedly lost his, and was getting remarried. I told him no. That I’d paid for it. And that he could go to the state to get his own copy.
He finished that call the same way he finished everything. By being a trashy AF small, pathetic little boy.
I’ve remarried an amazing man. We’ve built a great life and family.
My now ex husband was an a*****e a hole that I physically stayed with for way too long. When I finally left him, and filed for divorce he refused to fill out and sign the paperwork for an additional 6 years. I eventually took a day from work and went to his mom’s house, where he was living. Blocked his truck into his driveway with my car and knocked on the door. I then refused to leave until he signed the papers.
FF to our court date, and the mf’r was a no show.
It was a simple divorce. All I wanted was to go back to my maiden name. I wasn’t looking for a penny from him. We had no kids. No property together. He was just continuing his a***e.
The judge saw my distress and had a court clerk take me to an office where he then called the three numbers my husband had listed. No answer at two. So he called the work #.
And boy was my ex pissed! Court clerk told him flat out that even though he’d disregarded the court date. That I was going to be granted my request for divorce and to go back to my maiden name.
I could hear him swearing😀
We went back to the courtroom. And the clerk went and spoke to the judge. An hour later I walked out a free woman.
I didn’t hear from my ex for years. Until one day he reached out to me via FB and asked me for my copy of the divorce decree. He was supposedly lost his, and was getting remarried. I told him no. That I’d paid for it. And that he could go to the state to get his own copy.
He finished that call the same way he finished everything. By being a trashy AF small, pathetic little boy.
I’ve remarried an amazing man. We’ve built a great life and family.
65points
#6
From my experience, it comes years later when the kids realize who the real jerk parent was.
64points
#7
Not a lawyer, but a judge I met in law school had a pretty funny divorce story to share. The issue wasn't the divorce itself, but the custody battle. Both parents wanted the other one to get full custody of their two children (a boy and girl, around 2 and 4 yo). For some weird reason, they both thought that if they didn't get custody they wouldn't have to pay alimony to the other??
So the couple was in court, both deadset on not getting the kids so they wouldn't have to send money to their ex, and the judge was feeling stuck. Eventually the judge decided to go along with what the parents wanted and said "well, since neither of you want your kids, I'll take the boy."
He asked the stenograph if she wanted the girl (the poor woman was horrified and refused) but the court clerk who knew the judge well intervened and declared she would take in the girl.
It made the parents realize they were being stupid, and that they did not actually want to lose their children. After a half hour recess they had a full custody agreement.
The judge was pretty proud about his little ruse but poor kids.
So the couple was in court, both deadset on not getting the kids so they wouldn't have to send money to their ex, and the judge was feeling stuck. Eventually the judge decided to go along with what the parents wanted and said "well, since neither of you want your kids, I'll take the boy."
He asked the stenograph if she wanted the girl (the poor woman was horrified and refused) but the court clerk who knew the judge well intervened and declared she would take in the girl.
It made the parents realize they were being stupid, and that they did not actually want to lose their children. After a half hour recess they had a full custody agreement.
The judge was pretty proud about his little ruse but poor kids.
61points
#8
Not a divorce lawyer and this wasn’t a divorce. A close friend of mine was in a custody/parental support hearing (forgive me if the term isn’t right) with her ex.
She’s black and he’s white. This is relevant in that he decided to portray her as the “angry black woman” by showing up to court with a head injury he reported as having been caused by her. This was in the early aughts, and pics/videos by phone was definitely not as efficient.
I’m at work sitting at my desk and she calls me, borrowing a stranger’s mobile to ask me to find a water polo newsletter online that features a photo of his head injury from his last water polo meet. Found it, faxed it to the court and when they went back in and he went full in on his story the judge whipped up the faxed article with “so this isn’t you with a water polo injury then?”
She got full custody, support, the works. Wish I could’ve been there myself.
She’s black and he’s white. This is relevant in that he decided to portray her as the “angry black woman” by showing up to court with a head injury he reported as having been caused by her. This was in the early aughts, and pics/videos by phone was definitely not as efficient.
I’m at work sitting at my desk and she calls me, borrowing a stranger’s mobile to ask me to find a water polo newsletter online that features a photo of his head injury from his last water polo meet. Found it, faxed it to the court and when they went back in and he went full in on his story the judge whipped up the faxed article with “so this isn’t you with a water polo injury then?”
She got full custody, support, the works. Wish I could’ve been there myself.
60points
#9
A friend had married a guy in the entertainment business when his daughter from a 1st marriage was 3. She did more to raise the girl than her father or mother did. When the divorce was initiated, he kept the then-16yo daughter away from my friend and told his daughter my friend no longer wanted to see her. Her lawyers said she had no custody rights and there was nothing they could do about it. They fought over everything else and he was a miserable b*****d and the court could see that. A trial was scheduled in NYC. He did not show up and his lawyers said he was unable to afford the airfare from LA. My friend’s lawyer hired a PI, who took pictures of the b*****d drinking pina coladas in Maui with his new girlfriend. When the judge learned of this, she had US Marshals arrest him in Maui and drag him back to NY, where she sentenced him to a year in jail with a hefty fine, and said she was referring his lawyers to the bar association. The lawyers had a sidebar in which judge said she’d drop the sentence and referral if they settled the case in 3 days. My friend got everything she wanted in terms of $ and property, and a 3-hour meeting alone with the stepdaughter. The ex begged her to backup his lies about her not wanting to see the girl but since changing her mind. She said if she did not come clean to his daughter, there was no settlement. So he did, and she still sees the daughter (now in her 30s) regularly and went to her wedding.
60points
#10
My cousin's a divorce attorney and he always says the really satisfying ones aren't the big money fights but when you help someone finally get out of a bad situation and start over on their own terms.
59points
#11
There was a couple from the town next my hometown that got a divorce after the wife cheated. She got the house, half of his retirement, and was not very kind throughout the process. Not long after the divorce was final, like within days, his buddies took him to the casino to cheer him up and we won a jackpot, at least a few million dollars (don’t remember the exact number). She tried to take him back to court to split it but the divorce was final.
57points
#12
I didn't know if this is karma necessarily but it was something. Woman doesn't have much education, blue collar, but very kind and quite pretty. She meets this guy who is a born salesperson. They marry and she quits her job to stay home, raise their kids.
He makes a ton of money climbing the corporate ladder, and she's there the whole time, full time parent, moving their family to multiple different states for his jobs and promotions, hosting clients, whatever he needs to succeed. Finally he's made VP, he's flying high, but she's older and the years of being a SAHP have definitely removed some of the glamour for her. Their kids are in high school and starting to chafe under Dad's emotional and sometimes physical a***e, and final straw is when their son started to fight back. He tells her that's it, he's done, she has 3 months to get herself and the kids into an apartment because he's leaving her for the new girlfriend who happens to be a 22ish year old s******r with a fun c*****e habit.
We negotiate to keep her in the house pending the end of the school year but reality is hitting and even with alimony and child support the kids and her lifestyle is about to take a huge adjustment and it's not like she has a career or a degree to fall back on.
Parties are going to sign the stipulated judgement and file it Monday. That Saturday he and his girlfriend are in a single vehicle MVA, toxicology report shows he has a whole pharmacy in his system and girlfriend ends up serving some time for the c*****e the police find on her.
He d**s intestate, which means she, as his wife and the mother of his children, gets everything, no question. Plus he hadn't bothered to change the beneficiaries on any of his accounts, so she gets all those non-probatable assets and insurance policies, which as VP he had lots, and because he died before the kids were 18 there were immediate social security payments for them.
I can't say I'm happy the kids lost their father but it was pretty much best case scenario for all of them: mom owns the house, kids have college paid, no lifestyle changes for the family, and no more a*****e a*****e and his d***s and nonsense.
He makes a ton of money climbing the corporate ladder, and she's there the whole time, full time parent, moving their family to multiple different states for his jobs and promotions, hosting clients, whatever he needs to succeed. Finally he's made VP, he's flying high, but she's older and the years of being a SAHP have definitely removed some of the glamour for her. Their kids are in high school and starting to chafe under Dad's emotional and sometimes physical a***e, and final straw is when their son started to fight back. He tells her that's it, he's done, she has 3 months to get herself and the kids into an apartment because he's leaving her for the new girlfriend who happens to be a 22ish year old s******r with a fun c*****e habit.
We negotiate to keep her in the house pending the end of the school year but reality is hitting and even with alimony and child support the kids and her lifestyle is about to take a huge adjustment and it's not like she has a career or a degree to fall back on.
Parties are going to sign the stipulated judgement and file it Monday. That Saturday he and his girlfriend are in a single vehicle MVA, toxicology report shows he has a whole pharmacy in his system and girlfriend ends up serving some time for the c*****e the police find on her.
He d**s intestate, which means she, as his wife and the mother of his children, gets everything, no question. Plus he hadn't bothered to change the beneficiaries on any of his accounts, so she gets all those non-probatable assets and insurance policies, which as VP he had lots, and because he died before the kids were 18 there were immediate social security payments for them.
I can't say I'm happy the kids lost their father but it was pretty much best case scenario for all of them: mom owns the house, kids have college paid, no lifestyle changes for the family, and no more a*****e a*****e and his d***s and nonsense.
49points
#13
Not a lawyer (and NOT in the US, this took place in France)
My dad did everything to make the divorce process extremely long because he was mad my mom asked for it. He was refusing every. Single. Deal. Around their finances. Until the judge told him it was now or he would be held in contempt (after 5 years).
At the end of the divorce process, you have to pay justice fee. Usually it's shared between the spouses, not always equally but shared. This time though, the judge gave every fees to my dad. My mom's lawyer said he never saw that in his carreer, the judge was so pissed off she (judge was a woman) made him pay for the whole ordeal
(My dad is like 10 time more rich than my mom).
My dad did everything to make the divorce process extremely long because he was mad my mom asked for it. He was refusing every. Single. Deal. Around their finances. Until the judge told him it was now or he would be held in contempt (after 5 years).
At the end of the divorce process, you have to pay justice fee. Usually it's shared between the spouses, not always equally but shared. This time though, the judge gave every fees to my dad. My mom's lawyer said he never saw that in his carreer, the judge was so pissed off she (judge was a woman) made him pay for the whole ordeal
(My dad is like 10 time more rich than my mom).
46points
#14
Not a lawyer but during custody battle my spouse went to the police station to make some B.S. allegation against me. The officers there thought she was drunk and they arrested her for DUI as soon as she pulled out of the parking lot. Custody battle went a lot better after that.
44points
#15
I once saw a guy try to hide a massive offshore account by transferring it to a shady business partner right before the final hearing, only for that partner to ghost him and keep the entire seven-figure sum for himself.
Since the court had already documented the existence of the funds, the judge ruled that he still owed his exwife her fifty percent share based on the original balance, meaning he had to sell his house and liquidate his remaining assets just to pay her out while the partner he trusted vanished with the rest.
Seeing him realize he’d effectively paid his ex-wife to watch his own business partner rob him blind was the most glorious example of someone playing stupid games and winning the ultimate stupid prize.
Since the court had already documented the existence of the funds, the judge ruled that he still owed his exwife her fifty percent share based on the original balance, meaning he had to sell his house and liquidate his remaining assets just to pay her out while the partner he trusted vanished with the rest.
Seeing him realize he’d effectively paid his ex-wife to watch his own business partner rob him blind was the most glorious example of someone playing stupid games and winning the ultimate stupid prize.
44points
#16
Not a lawyer, but my friend's husband was dragging things out, pretending To be infirm so he could get out of sharing his retirement. My friend was being grilled about shared debt and she finally lost her temper when the lawyer said, "and aren't you divorcing him to avoid this debt?" She snapped back, "No, I'm divorcing him because he tried to sleep with my sister." The stenographer and the clerk both covered their mouths like they were trying not to laugh. The judge warned her not to bring it up again (no-fault state), but dismissed the line of questioning.
41points
#17
I work for a law firm (we typically do criminal law but did a divorce case as a favor for the boss's friend).
Our client wanted to divorce her husband because she said that he was cheating.
He insisted that he wasn't. She told us that he was. His law firm told us that he wasn't.
We showed them proof that he bought lap dances at a strip club. They argued that he wasn't and that he wasn't at a strip club.
He then (as this was happening) got a ticket for leaving a parking lot without indicating.
That parking lot belonged to and was only used by clients of the strip club.
And the fine (since the car was in his wife's name) came to his wife.
Things were a bit easier after that.
Our client wanted to divorce her husband because she said that he was cheating.
He insisted that he wasn't. She told us that he was. His law firm told us that he wasn't.
We showed them proof that he bought lap dances at a strip club. They argued that he wasn't and that he wasn't at a strip club.
He then (as this was happening) got a ticket for leaving a parking lot without indicating.
That parking lot belonged to and was only used by clients of the strip club.
And the fine (since the car was in his wife's name) came to his wife.
Things were a bit easier after that.
38points
#18
During my child custody hearing, when the judge declared a very modest amount for child support, my ex jumped up and protested, saying, how am I going to be able to afford to take my (new) wife out to dinner? The judge gave him Evil D***h Stare and said, oh you remarried? We need to account for that. And added 20% to the total amount.
38points
#19
I'm a lawyer and with so many cases one party feels like a victim and wants to get closure. And I try to help everyone get past that because there's no closure -- the jerk will continue being a jerk and dragging it out for revenge just costs money.
But.
The funniest thing I see is when people want to make a deal without involving the courts and the other refuses and takes it to court themselves and finds out how good the deal was.
Like a friend in law school, her ex and she got along and she only wanted him to help with diapers and other supplies and he got mad that she asked so often so he took her to court and had to pay A LOT.
But.
The funniest thing I see is when people want to make a deal without involving the courts and the other refuses and takes it to court themselves and finds out how good the deal was.
Like a friend in law school, her ex and she got along and she only wanted him to help with diapers and other supplies and he got mad that she asked so often so he took her to court and had to pay A LOT.
37points
#20
NAL and we weren't even married, but the karma on this one was real.
Our child wasn't even two years old when I ended the relationship with my ex. Not only did he have a huge drinking problem (which I discovered while on maternity leave), but according to his best friend, he'd admitted that he "wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a parent" - at 30 years old. After the baby was born he stayed out of the house as much as possible, was always pawning the baby off on his parents when he was off and I was working, always had money for beer but none for the baby's expenses. It got to the point where my savings were about depleted, and I had to take money from family as well as a loan from my 401(k) to cover everything. Not to mention, he'd leave the baby in a diaper so long there'd be terrible rashes, and wouldn't feed or dress him properly.
So one night I'd had enough, after he came home from work four hours late and drunk, and ended it. Long story short, things happened, he called the cops, and he ended up getting arrested (he's a cop himself lol).
I'm guessing he realized that there was the possibility of child support, because ALL OF A SUDDEN, he was interested in our child and wanted full custody. And he tried every trick in the book. Filed for temporary emergency custody and lied to the judge to get it. Insisted that I was unstable and required a psych eval before I was able to see our child unsupervised and once I was cleared he dictated when I could have the baby. I suspect the lawyers I'd gotten knew him, because they definitely weren't fighting for me, and even gave me the wrong time for court one day when I'd called the office to double check. Switched lawyers but he still pulled c**p. He'd taken my address book and called all of my friends, family and coworkers telling them that I committed various types of fraud and was stealing their identities. Friends were followed and threatened. I lost a number of friends, and some even turned against me, passing him information. I'd moved in with friends until I got my own place, and they were the ones who told me he had a PI on me - I'd gone to spend the weekend with another friend and the PI called the ones I was staying with, asking where I was. SO MUCH MORE I won't get into. He did everything he could to try to prove that I was unfit, and to break me, and made my life an absolute hell. He and his lawyer dragged things out to where this ended up taking two and a half years; his goal was to make me run out of money.
The karma: I was awarded custody; he was given the basic visitation. He was ordered to pay $14K of my legal fees, for which he was to set up a payment plan with my attorney - until I saw a "For Sale" sign in his window literally a week later. A lien was placed on his condo and the full amount came out of the sale, as well the 2 years' of retroactive child support that I'd been awarded. In our state, support continues until the child finishes college, so that was an additional 19 years :)
The best part: at least a couple times a year I run into a friend of his, and they are very happy to share information with me. Early on he'd gotten into a relationship (with a former friend of mine, no less, who tried to help him take my baby), and they *really* pushed the relationship during the court case to show that he was "more stable." I've been told that she is an absolute b, he hates her, is absolutely MIS-ER-ABLE, and wants to divorce her but can't because then he'd have to give her half, and he will not do that. Meanwhile, I have a great life and am as happy as a clam :).
Our child wasn't even two years old when I ended the relationship with my ex. Not only did he have a huge drinking problem (which I discovered while on maternity leave), but according to his best friend, he'd admitted that he "wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a parent" - at 30 years old. After the baby was born he stayed out of the house as much as possible, was always pawning the baby off on his parents when he was off and I was working, always had money for beer but none for the baby's expenses. It got to the point where my savings were about depleted, and I had to take money from family as well as a loan from my 401(k) to cover everything. Not to mention, he'd leave the baby in a diaper so long there'd be terrible rashes, and wouldn't feed or dress him properly.
So one night I'd had enough, after he came home from work four hours late and drunk, and ended it. Long story short, things happened, he called the cops, and he ended up getting arrested (he's a cop himself lol).
I'm guessing he realized that there was the possibility of child support, because ALL OF A SUDDEN, he was interested in our child and wanted full custody. And he tried every trick in the book. Filed for temporary emergency custody and lied to the judge to get it. Insisted that I was unstable and required a psych eval before I was able to see our child unsupervised and once I was cleared he dictated when I could have the baby. I suspect the lawyers I'd gotten knew him, because they definitely weren't fighting for me, and even gave me the wrong time for court one day when I'd called the office to double check. Switched lawyers but he still pulled c**p. He'd taken my address book and called all of my friends, family and coworkers telling them that I committed various types of fraud and was stealing their identities. Friends were followed and threatened. I lost a number of friends, and some even turned against me, passing him information. I'd moved in with friends until I got my own place, and they were the ones who told me he had a PI on me - I'd gone to spend the weekend with another friend and the PI called the ones I was staying with, asking where I was. SO MUCH MORE I won't get into. He did everything he could to try to prove that I was unfit, and to break me, and made my life an absolute hell. He and his lawyer dragged things out to where this ended up taking two and a half years; his goal was to make me run out of money.
The karma: I was awarded custody; he was given the basic visitation. He was ordered to pay $14K of my legal fees, for which he was to set up a payment plan with my attorney - until I saw a "For Sale" sign in his window literally a week later. A lien was placed on his condo and the full amount came out of the sale, as well the 2 years' of retroactive child support that I'd been awarded. In our state, support continues until the child finishes college, so that was an additional 19 years :)
The best part: at least a couple times a year I run into a friend of his, and they are very happy to share information with me. Early on he'd gotten into a relationship (with a former friend of mine, no less, who tried to help him take my baby), and they *really* pushed the relationship during the court case to show that he was "more stable." I've been told that she is an absolute b, he hates her, is absolutely MIS-ER-ABLE, and wants to divorce her but can't because then he'd have to give her half, and he will not do that. Meanwhile, I have a great life and am as happy as a clam :).
34points