You want to know your partner inside and out before tying the knot, or at least have a good idea of their values, habits, and quirks.
But nobody can be certain that a surprise or two won't pop up after saying "I do."
In a discussion on r/AskReddit, people have been sharing the things their spouses kept secret until after their marriage, and it's starting to look like sometimes—whether for better or for worse—the real adventure begins with the vows.
#22
That he’s not the sunny, up beat, happy go lucky guy he always showed me. He’s actually very cynical, defeatist, and just overall negative. It’s been a rocky 20y marriage.
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28points
#23
That she was gay.
It was a roller coaster ride of a marriage, with two separations and a reconciliation in the middle before we divorced. After she left the first time, she wanted back in only to leave again to be with a woman. On one hand, I’m glad she is living her authentic life. I wouldn’t want anything less for her. However, it wasn’t easy to realize my years with her were based on a lie. The fact that we reconciled while she took the time to figure herself out, certainly made me feel used. In hindsight, the lack of affection, intimacy, and the absence of feeling when she told me she loved me all makes sense. Before we got back together, I insisted on dating for months, a marriage contract, and marriage counselling. She promised she would never leave again, which obviously meant nothing, given the circumstances. Water under the bridge.
It was a roller coaster ride of a marriage, with two separations and a reconciliation in the middle before we divorced. After she left the first time, she wanted back in only to leave again to be with a woman. On one hand, I’m glad she is living her authentic life. I wouldn’t want anything less for her. However, it wasn’t easy to realize my years with her were based on a lie. The fact that we reconciled while she took the time to figure herself out, certainly made me feel used. In hindsight, the lack of affection, intimacy, and the absence of feeling when she told me she loved me all makes sense. Before we got back together, I insisted on dating for months, a marriage contract, and marriage counselling. She promised she would never leave again, which obviously meant nothing, given the circumstances. Water under the bridge.
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27points
#24
I can tell you what I kept secret from my husband until after we were married. I'm independently wealthy. We don't have F**k You money, but compared to the way we were both raised, we are *great*. My mom couldn't afford milk when I was growing up, my husband's parents weren't much better off. My husband and I are millionaires, we can afford to put our kids through college if they so choose, or whatever else they want to do, and I can't tell you how good that feels.
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26points
#25
That he didn’t want children. Also, his capacity for cruelty. I’m leaving as soon as I can find a more secure job.
26points
#26
That she didn't actually like science fiction movies and Weird Al.
24points
#27
That she was adopted…I didn’t care but obviously it meant a lot to her
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24points
#30
I didn't tell my spouse until 3 weeks before the wedding that my dad had been in prison for 10 years. I was very ashamed, and thought they would think less of me.
15points