In the old days, people traditionally passed down family skills and hobbies from the older generations to the younger ones, thus giving rise to dynasties of weavers and jewelers, watchmakers and bakers. Nowadays, anyone can, in theory, choose an occupation they enjoy (and can afford). However, grandparents are still delighted when their grandkids express a desire to learn their skills.
The author of our story today, for example, began learning the beautiful art of baking from his grandma as a child, and can now proudly say that he has become a decent baker himself. However, as it turns out, his relatives now view his hobby more as a duty. Okay, let's just cut to the chase.
More info: Reddit
Being a skilled person in an entitled family can be really difficult, since you probably face numerous demands from relatives to manifest your skill for them for free
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author of the post got his grandma's baking skills from her as a kid, and eagerly bakes for his relatives during the holidays
Image credits: Olivie Strauss / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One day, before Christmas, the man arrived at his parents' home with two self-baked pies, left them there, and went to buy ingredients for Christmas bread at the store
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After returning home, the man found out that the relatives had gobbled up everything to the last crumb
Image credits: anon
The man then threatened to stop making Christmas bread, and got bashed by his relatives heavily
The Original poster (OP) is now 24 years old, and from childhood, he was really eager to learn to bake like his grandma. The elderly lady took on the task of teaching her grandson, and it has now become his constant hobby, even after the grandmother is no longer with us. The guy enjoys baking for his relatives for Christmas and other holidays.
Recently, our hero stopped by his parents' house carrying two freshly baked pies. He left them in the kitchen and went to the store to buy ingredients for Christmas bread, which he had previously promised to make for the family. When the author returned, he was upset heavily - it turned out that his relatives had already eaten both pies in his absence, leaving him no crumbs.
The OP was outraged, especially since he had requested that no one eat the pies while he was away. However, in response, one of his relatives stated that the pies "were his 'payment' for staying with the family and 'eating their food.'" Our hero, however, is a vegetarian and usually cooks for himself - especially since his relatives never make meatless dishes for him on holidays.
One thing led to another, a fight ensued, and the OP declared that if that were the case, he wouldn't bake Christmas bread the next morning. The guy suggested his mom could've easily done it instead. In response, he received a barrage of accusations and outright insults - so he stormed out of the house and went to a friend's place. There, they baked bread together - but the author, of course, left disappointed that X-mas.
Image credits: anon
"The situation, of course, is absolutely outrageous and, unfortunately, quite typical in many families," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "Relatives often seriously believe that if you possess some skill that's useful to them, you're definitely obligated to demonstrate it, always and for free."
The expert believes that the only proper solution in this situation would be what the author actually did: leave home, confront his entitled relatives, and assert his personal boundaries. Otherwise, the situation described here would have perhaps happened again and again.
"It's worth remembering that this man noted that this wasn't the first time his relatives had behaved this way. So, in my opinion, the right thing to do would be to not return the day after Christmas - and then, a few days later, communicate his 'red lines' to relatives for future communication," Irina summarizes.
People in the comments also fully sided with the original poster, criticizing his relatives and advising him not to give in to any possible provocations from his fam. After all, according to readers, someone else can bake the Christmas bread, and no one but us will defend our personal boundaries. So do you agree with this as well? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
Most commenters unanimously sided with the man and urged him to not give in to his relatives' possible provocations
