35 Things People Embody So Deeply That Their Entire Personality Revolves Around It, As Shared In This Online Group

While most people found these things they mentioned annoying and in some cases they even expressed fear seeing someone so obsessed about just one thing, the people who always bring up the same topic in every conversation might not be doing it on purpose. 

Bored Panda reached out to Denise Marigold, an Associate Professor and Chair of Social Development Studies at the Renison University College in Waterloo, Canada to learn more about this.

She explained to us that it’s not unusual for people to focus their attention on one thing, like a goal or interest. The professor explains why it happens, “When you get absorbed in a goal, it can be like a flow state, where everything else can disappear while one becomes pleasantly engrossed in what they are doing.”

When you get into something with high concentration, “Other thoughts and feelings that are irrelevant to the topic get automatically inhibited. This can be adaptive because it facilitates goal progress and freedom from distractions and conflicts. When people do this well, they get a lot of enjoyment out of it.”

Depending on the level of absorption, this kind of state may be either beneficial to a person or interfere with their normal life. Dr. Denise Marigold reveals what positive and negative results it can bring, “Absorption in a goal or interest may also serve as a way to get relief from unwanted thoughts and feelings. If people are doing this to block out awareness of unwanted thoughts and feelings, they also tend to lack awareness of the effects their behavior has on others around them (e.g., how boring and lonely it can be for others to be around them when they have gone to their obsessive ‘happy place’).“

Some people might get annoyed that there is nothing else to talk about with that person because they will force the same topic on you. You will have to deal with that by assessing the situation and your relationship with that person.

Dr. Denise Marigold suggests that “In some relationships you might feel comfortable being completely honest and direct and saying something like ‘It’s nice that you are enthusiastic about that! Unfortunately it’s not something I can really get into. Because it’s hard for me to engage in that topic and feel connected with you, I find myself losing interest quickly.’ If you feel the need to be less direct, you can still aim to validate their interest while steering the conversation towards other topics you can both engage in.”

So if someone is really focused on a particular interest, it’s just their happy place and they feel comfortable and passionate talking about it. Also, if you get bored of talking about it or listening to it, there are nice ways to try and explain to the person without making them feel like they are a boring interlocutor.