It’s said that you can’t choose your family and that it’s one of the most important things in a person’s life as its members are always there for you, no matter what. The family bond is hard to break as it’s built on love, honesty, and trust. And often parents are the ones who set a “foundation” by teaching their kids that they should be open with them and trust them absolutely. Because at the end of the day, if you can't trust your close ones, who can you trust? But what if one day you find out something about your family member that changes everything? Reddit user @u/iLuvDILFSSSS decided to ask others online “What is something you know about your parents that you shouldn’t know?” The question that received almost 3.5k answers revealed some really intense secrets that people found out by accident and still can’t admit to their parents that they know about it.
What do you think about some of these secrets? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
More Info: Reddit
#1
My parents escaped from Iraq during the worst period of the Saddam regime.
As a kid, you don’t know what a war refugee is. I used to think my father worked at the welfare office. I found out years later that my father was going there for PTSD therapy.
Having found his papers, I learned my father was tortured in prison for helping his students escape the country, and that the reason why he’s always limping wasn’t because of something genetic, but because they smashed his knee with a hammer, and locked him in a dark room for days with no medical help, destroying his career as an athlete and professor of physical fitness.
My parents never ever ever talked about the stuff they went through. We grew up thinking we were a perfectly normal family.
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341points
#2
My mother and father had a deal that my father would get a job, so my mom could finish college, and then my mom would get a job, so my dad could finish college.
My father did his part and when it was his time to go back to college, my mom and all her family humiliated him into going back to work.
My brother and I are not supposed to know this, we were too young, but I know.
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205points
#3
My father never went to college. He worked as a mechanic for many, many years to put food on the table for my mother, sister and I.
It wasn't until revently when I was visiting his parents (my grandparents) and we were talking until I realized how much stress he was going through when I was a kid.
As a kid, I always just thought he was just an angry guy who would work all day, be pissed and yell at at us for no reason. I didn't understand the long hours he was putting in or the stress it was putting him through. But especially now as I enter the more serious full time employment and adult life, I'm starting to appreciated him and his hard work, despite him never explicitly telling me.
He's now got a very high position in a very large trucking company without a degree. I'm proud of him.
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194points
#4
My mother. She got pregnant at the age of 18 after three months of dating my dad. At the age of 21, poor af and studying architecture, my father did his best to take care of his "unexpected" new family: he got his degree, built his career as an important architect here and got my mother pregnant two more times... I was the last child. After 25 years of marriage, my mother wanted to get a divorce. She wanted to explore life. The shocking part?
She's always maintained this habit of writing down her stuff, meaning she has tens of journals, and when I was about 21 (already child of divorce) i snooped and found this entry of hers talking about how she lied to my father about contraception when she was 18 and got pregnant on purpose. She also wrote how lucky she was that my father made a lot of money throughout their marriage and how bummed she was that it was taking her so long to get her share of the divorce money.
That information has been living rent-free in my mind for the past 9 years and it changed the way I see mom.i love her to death, but I definitely regret having snooped through her journals and coming across that specific piece of info. I don't know how to explain why it's painful to even think about it, but it just is.
Not my place to judge. I love my parents. My father has no idea as well. It's just so f***** up i don't even know how to finish this post properly.
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182points
#5
That we stopped going to church when we were around 10 because my parents divorced. They kicked us out because it wasn't Christian. This was after three generations of attending every service, bible camp, and function.
My mom tried taking us to a few different churches but they were not friendly to single mothers.
We were kids and just didn't realize we hadn't been attending and had started getting into sports and activities instead.
We were cut off from a lot of family and lifelong friends. My mother was superhero for going from a stay at home mom with three kids and a supportive community and family to a single working mom doing all she could.
We also figured out why our "new" clothes always came home in garbage bags. Her coworkers would let her pick through the clothing they were getting rid of or donating if she'd drop them off for them.
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171points
#6
My parents divorced when I was 3. My mother had custody of my sister and I. My mother loved to verbally bash him to us. She would tell us he never once paid child support.
Life was hard for a long time.
I was 15 and cleaning out a closet and found every child support cheque uncashed. She hated him so much she refused to take his money. I cried and put them back. All I could think about was being about 5-6 and being so hungry.
I have never asked either of them about it.
I have never asked either of them about it.
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160points
#7
When I was a teenager I found this like daily affirmation type thing my mom had written talking about how she knew her two miscarriages prior to me were in heaven . After she passed I found an old journal and one of the entries said how every day she says a prayer when she woke up still pregnant . I can't even imagine.
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157points
#8
As a teenager I moved in with my mom after not living with her for most of my life and fighting to be a part of hers. One night I heard her and my step dad talking about how the only reason they let me live there was for the tax credits and child support.
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137points
#9
My mom didn't marry my dad because she was in love with him, she chose him when the man she was in love with told her he couldn't marry a woman who already had another man's child and my dad had no problem with stepkids. She did eventually fall in love with him for what it's worth.
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133points
#10
Few month ago I unexpectedly got to know that my father anonymously donated significant amount of money to charity. Mostly as a direct help to children who needed expensive meds.
I pretty sure nobody knows about this. None of our family, none of his friends, none of the families he helped. Besides him it is just the girl who volunteers for charity and helped him to find families in need.
And now me cause i hit it off and hooked up with her :)
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117points
#11
My biological father told me that my mother was in a mental hospital when she was around 7-8 months pregnant with me.
I’m 22 now, spent 4 times in mental hospitals since I was 13/my 14th birthday.
Last year I found out that I’m autistic and all my problems and trauma make sense now
I just wish my mum would realise she’s autistic too one day (already talked to her) and it’s even more sad how people don’t know anything about autism which causes severe damage and overall miscommunication when not noticed and taken seriously as early as possible…
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117points
#12
As a kid I saw an old family tree that showed my mom had 3 babies (all different dads) whom she gave up for adoption before meeting my dad. I didn’t say s**t and she didn’t admit it to me until about 10 years afterwards.
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106points
#13
My mom thought that I wasn't near by and said how she "didn't intend to have me" what makes it worse is the fact that I was 11 and having a hard time with getting bullied at the time
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104points
#14
My dad had a live in girlfriend for 18 months before he divorced my mom. He was military and went on what he called an isolated tour overseas, where family wasn’t allowed. When he got back to the states I met some folks who lived in the same apartment building as him in Turkey. They told me they really liked my mom and it was a shame I couldn’t go with them. Thing is, I was in the states with my mom. Met the girlfriend a few months later, she was the same age as my older sister. Needless to say, we didn’t get along.
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103points
#16
As a young kid I overheard my parents screaming in another room about what age I was when my dad left us. Mom said 3 months. Dad said 3 years.
I didn’t know he left at all.
At least he came back?
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93points
#17
My mother once gasslit me because I saw her smoking. She convinced me i was wrong and made everyone think I was a liar. I was 5. I found it recently I wasn't wrong, I did see her smoking. She was ashamed so hid it from everyone.
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91points
#18
My dad cheated on my step-mom with my mom after my parents divorced.
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90points
#19
Well, for the first 16 years of my life I thought that my father had died in an accident. Turns out he just didn't care about me and my mom was trying to make 4yr old me feel better because she didn't want me to think it was my fault.
It really f****d with me when I found out at 16 that my biological father was still out there somewhere.
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80points
#20
I am the executor of their will if they both die in an accident.
Problem is, I'm the youngest of 5.
October of 2021, my wife and I had to drive to a bar to pick them up, the waitress called me from my mom's phone and told me to pick them up or they are calling the cops. We got there, my dad was trying to fight everybody, my mom was just being a happy drunk and off we went back to their place. On the way home they told me, well they were drunk talking about it.
Edit: it’s bad because all my siblings are trashy and will lose their f*****g minds when they find out
71points