“Slap Yourself And Don’t Do It”: 30 Social Norms People Hate The Most

To learn more about the complex world of social norms, we got in touch with Dr. Todd Schoepflin. Dr. Schoepflin is a sociologist, professor, the author of Sociology in Stories, and blogger, and he was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about the unspoken rules we follow every day. 

“As a sociologist I'm obsessed with norms, a foundational concept in my field. Norms guide our behavior,” Dr. Schoepflin shared. “They are the generally agreed on do's and don'ts of everyday life.”

“When students walked into the classroom today and said ‘Good morning,’ a norm was in effect. When students sit and pay attention, and I teach with enthusiasm and do my best to ‘act like a professor,’ we're all following the norms,” he explained.

But what happens if we ignore norms in society? “No one holds the door for anyone. Shoppers leave their carts wherever they want. Drivers take up two spots,” Dr. Schoepflin told Bored Panda. 

The expert also pointed out that norms differ place to place. “The norms of the New York City Subway system make for an interesting case study,” he says. “As a different example, here in Buffalo, NY, it violates a norm if we don't eat bleu cheese with chicken wings. We're not supposed to like ranch with our wings here.”

Dr. Schoepflin also noticed that I’m a native Texan. “I would wonder out loud, if, other than perhaps in Austin, does it violate a norm to be a vegan?” he asked. (It does!)

“I say that living in Buffalo, which I deem to be a meat loving place, and recalling that when my son was briefly vegetarian, he got some grief for it. People attend meat raffles here to have fun and raise money. There aren't salad raffles! So it's always important to think about norms and how they shape our behavior, expectations, and reactions.”

But of course, the expert says people defy norms all the time, and we see norms change over time. “Look at the increased popularity of tattoos. The people like tattoos!” Dr. Schoepflin noted.

“Sometimes a public official makes a difference in the norms. I believe Dr. C. Everett Koop impacted norms of smoking when he spoke out about the dangers of tobacco. In my 20s, all the bars smelled of smoke. Now they don't,” the sociologist continued. 

“So many gender norms have changed,” Dr. Schoepflin added. “A few generations ago, men smoked cigars in waiting rooms while their girlfriend or wife gave birth. Now, men are expected to be part of the labor process and may even be asked to cut the umbilical cord.”

“Speaking of labor, in 50 years, the share of women in the paid labor force increased from 30 percent in 1950 to 60 percent by 2000,” he says. “I'm going to show my students this example in class: until 1974, women didn't have the right to apply for credit in their own name without a male co-signer. Social movements (feminism, Civil Rights Movement) play a critical role in changing norms, attitudes, and laws.”

We were also curious to know if Dr. Schoepflin would like to see any norms changed. “I'm concerned about what I perceive to be an ‘almost norm’ of aggressive driving,” he told Bored Panda. “More and more often I observe people driving like they're in video games, weaving rapidly through traffic, tailgating, and gesturing in a hostile manner when they don't like what their fellow drivers do.”