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Stein, who runs a team of therapists in Colorado called Anxiety Solutions of Denver, thinks the main motivation that drives us to check up on our past acquaintances is simply comparison.
"People love to compare their own accomplishments to those of others, for better or worse," he told Bored Panda. "That's not necessarily a healthy thing, but it's something a lot of people feel compelled to do. It can feel good to know that your career or relationship status compares favorably to others, but of course that can run the other way as well; it can hurt to see that you have not progressed in life as much as your peers."
"I think the other biggest reason though is just curiosity. People have their set impressions of what their classmates were like in high school and they're curious to know if those classmates turned out how they thought they would. And then a final reason I would say is gossip! People love talking about people, and it can be entertaining to share what you found out, especially if you find something funny about a former acquaintance," Stein explained.
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The psychologist believes that high school can be a precursor for someone's adult life, but that's not always the case.
"By high school, you are likely to have a pretty good idea of a person's academic achievement, and high academic achievement in high school tends to lead to high academic achievement after it, but in terms of a person's personality, that is definitely not set in stone by high school. Personality tends to solidify in our mid-20s, so there is a lot of room for people to change from who they were in high school."
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Some predictions, however, are possible. For example, when researchers from the University of Virginia looked at a community sample of 169 adolescents over 10 years (from the time they were age 15 to when they were 25), they found that teen friendships (or the lack of them) may directly impact their long-term mental and emotional health.
"High school students with higher-quality best friendships tended to improve in several aspects of mental health over time, while teens who were popular among their peers during high school may be more prone to social anxiety later in life," said Rachel K. Narr, a Ph.D. candidate in clinical psychology, who led the study.
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Interestingly, neither having a strong best friendship nor being more popular predicted short-term changes in mental health; these differences only became apparent later and they appeared regardless of the youth's experiences in the interim.
"Our study affirms that forming strong close friendships is likely one of the most critical pieces of the teenage social experience," Joseph Allen, Hugh P. Kelly Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia, who co-authored the study, added. "Being well-liked by a large group of people cannot take the place of forging deep, supportive friendships. And these experiences stay with us, over and above what happens later. As technology makes it increasingly easy to build a social network of superficial friends, focusing time and attention on cultivating close connections with a few individuals should be a priority."
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Our former classmates aren't the only people from our past we like to keep tabs on. How many times have you "accidentally" looked up your ex?
"These are obviously people that you've had a strong emotional attachment to and the obvious question people want the answer to is whether they found someone new," Dr. Stein said.
"Again, it's that comparison thing: for better or worse, people want to know if past relationship partners have moved on to someone else, what that person is like, and in general see how they are doing in life. I don't think there are many people who haven't looked up past partners online!"
Quick, someone ask Redditors about this topic!
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