The world has had its fair share of dumb criminals. Forgetting to wear a ski mask or robbing a store when there’s a surveillance camera pointed directly at you are mistakes of an unsophisticated criminal. But some lawbreakers are much more clever than this — they outsmart law enforcement officers and go into the history books for their ruses.
Bored Panda came across a recent online thread where people were sharing stories about criminals who surprised law enforcement and everyone around them with how resourceful and inventive they were. “Police officers/investigators, etc., what are your ‘Holy [hell], this criminal is smart’ moments?” one netizen asked. Yet, neighbors, acquaintances, and not just law enforcement officers came forward with their stories of criminals surprising them with intelligence.
#21
I just like to tell this story when I can.. My dad used to race cars in the 80's and he got caught by a police car. They turned on their lights and chased him. My dad was using nos before that was super common and he flipped that on and took off and then skidded into a random parking lot, crawled through the bushes and got home, then immediately called the police and filed that his car was stolen.
They already knew my dad, but were like "god damnit.. we'll keep an eye out for it--oh look there it is" "oh thank god you found it!" And he walked over and picked it up and drove home w/ it.. They knew he was lying, but couldn't do s**t about it.
They already knew my dad, but were like "god damnit.. we'll keep an eye out for it--oh look there it is" "oh thank god you found it!" And he walked over and picked it up and drove home w/ it.. They knew he was lying, but couldn't do s**t about it.
7points
#22
As a teenager I worked in a fast food restaurant. Some time passed and we got a new manager. Things started to go a bit weird after that. Shifts would start to feel really understaffed and the workload went up.
It got so bad that someone must have complained to head office.
Anyway, it turned out the new manager had fabricated other phantom members of staff who were invisibly on the rota. Whether they were his family members or other bank accounts belonging to him I’m not sure.
So he was effectively fully staffing the restaurant from head offices point of view. Overworking the staff that was there and paying himself three times over.
Anyway. Not long after this he just vanished. Not sure if he was caught or not.
It got so bad that someone must have complained to head office.
Anyway, it turned out the new manager had fabricated other phantom members of staff who were invisibly on the rota. Whether they were his family members or other bank accounts belonging to him I’m not sure.
So he was effectively fully staffing the restaurant from head offices point of view. Overworking the staff that was there and paying himself three times over.
Anyway. Not long after this he just vanished. Not sure if he was caught or not.
7points
#23
Obligatory not officer but. I'm a historian, and going through records about an investigation my professor did I began to read about a guy named Juan de la Cueva. He was a spaniard merchant from the late 1500's. He moved to Peru and started doing a whole bunch of shady business. The thing is, if you probably know what people used to say about the early modern ages, specially the Spanish Empire, you probably think that fierce, aggressive and barely legal capitalistic schemes were not a thing yet. Well, that's not really the case.
This guy Juan De la Cueva literally oppened a bank so big and important it had offices all over the Spanish Empire from Chile, to Panama, Mexico, The Andes, and Seville. We went through the records with this professor and the things he did immediately made me think of the Wolf of Wall Street but in the early 1600's. He had colluded himself with a guy that stole silver from the King's silver mines of Potosi in Bolivia and ilegally traded with China and India. He started selling chinese silk in Mexico and Panama despite supposedly navigation to Asia by private companies was illegal and only allowed for the King's fleets. He also transported illegal goods from Spain's enemy nations into the Spanish Americas. Any shady business we could imagine he did. Even causing a massive inflation due to counterfeiting silver currency which was basically copper or lead coated with silver. His empire was so big that every single merchant in the Entirety of the Spanish Empire was in a way or the other connected to his company, from Philippines to the Netherlands.
Eventually, a series of risky business ventures that ended badly eventually caught up with the guy. In 1635 he had to file for bankruptcy after a failed business with a ship that sunk with a lot of his money. The thing is, people caught wind of this even before he had filed for bankruptcy, and many of his partners and people that had deposited money in his bank started trying to withdraw money from their accounts. Eventually people were forming outside his offices, and his hq in Lima, Peru. Even riots started because the bank would not open and people could not withdraw their money. So much people had money deposited with him that it was simply impossible to give them their money, since most he had invested in other ventures expecting for returns. The Viceroy had no idea what to do, nothing of this sort had ever happened before, and people were furious. They wanted his head, but the guy was well connected. The Viceroy even asked if he could get his rich friends to bail him out. Many of them had already loaned him money for other ventures. Taking the oportunity, many of them inflated the loans Juan de la Cueva had taken, and ended up suing him for up to double what they actually gave him.
The guy was a smart and fierce businessman, one on par with the risky business experts of today's Wall Street, but eventually fate caught up with him. And unlike today, back then the government wouldn't bail out a corporation. Juan de la Cueva was finally put on trial, at first for having irregularities in his business, then for all the money he owed, as the investigation continued more and more shady business and ilegal stuff were uncovered. Many of his business partners were tried too after he snitched on them in order to get a reduced sentece. Some even got hanged for it. In the end due to his cooperation he was not executed, and was placed in prision for life. The economic crisis that ensued was devastating for many. Even government institutions had their money on his bank.
Edit: one detail I forgot to mention but it's fascinating nonetheless is that the debt he had when he filed for bankruptcy was so freaking high, his children and his children's children and so on were still in debt. It went on for centuries. It actually was not totally paid until the 1860's. It took him and his descendants almost three centuries to pay it off since some of his first investors had given him money as early as the 1560's.
This guy Juan De la Cueva literally oppened a bank so big and important it had offices all over the Spanish Empire from Chile, to Panama, Mexico, The Andes, and Seville. We went through the records with this professor and the things he did immediately made me think of the Wolf of Wall Street but in the early 1600's. He had colluded himself with a guy that stole silver from the King's silver mines of Potosi in Bolivia and ilegally traded with China and India. He started selling chinese silk in Mexico and Panama despite supposedly navigation to Asia by private companies was illegal and only allowed for the King's fleets. He also transported illegal goods from Spain's enemy nations into the Spanish Americas. Any shady business we could imagine he did. Even causing a massive inflation due to counterfeiting silver currency which was basically copper or lead coated with silver. His empire was so big that every single merchant in the Entirety of the Spanish Empire was in a way or the other connected to his company, from Philippines to the Netherlands.
Eventually, a series of risky business ventures that ended badly eventually caught up with the guy. In 1635 he had to file for bankruptcy after a failed business with a ship that sunk with a lot of his money. The thing is, people caught wind of this even before he had filed for bankruptcy, and many of his partners and people that had deposited money in his bank started trying to withdraw money from their accounts. Eventually people were forming outside his offices, and his hq in Lima, Peru. Even riots started because the bank would not open and people could not withdraw their money. So much people had money deposited with him that it was simply impossible to give them their money, since most he had invested in other ventures expecting for returns. The Viceroy had no idea what to do, nothing of this sort had ever happened before, and people were furious. They wanted his head, but the guy was well connected. The Viceroy even asked if he could get his rich friends to bail him out. Many of them had already loaned him money for other ventures. Taking the oportunity, many of them inflated the loans Juan de la Cueva had taken, and ended up suing him for up to double what they actually gave him.
The guy was a smart and fierce businessman, one on par with the risky business experts of today's Wall Street, but eventually fate caught up with him. And unlike today, back then the government wouldn't bail out a corporation. Juan de la Cueva was finally put on trial, at first for having irregularities in his business, then for all the money he owed, as the investigation continued more and more shady business and ilegal stuff were uncovered. Many of his business partners were tried too after he snitched on them in order to get a reduced sentece. Some even got hanged for it. In the end due to his cooperation he was not executed, and was placed in prision for life. The economic crisis that ensued was devastating for many. Even government institutions had their money on his bank.
Edit: one detail I forgot to mention but it's fascinating nonetheless is that the debt he had when he filed for bankruptcy was so freaking high, his children and his children's children and so on were still in debt. It went on for centuries. It actually was not totally paid until the 1860's. It took him and his descendants almost three centuries to pay it off since some of his first investors had given him money as early as the 1560's.
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7points
#24
I met a quick change artist when I worked for a bank. He short changed several people before coming to me. I refused to play his game but I have never seen anyone as good. He was doing quick math and exchanges that I'd never seen before or since. He would even lose money on some swaps and ask people to balance their drawer because he thinks they shorted him. Then, he'd proceed to .are a few more swaps and make back after they thought he was being legitimate. He's actually still used in training materials at my local bank last I checked.
If you ever run into this, only ever return what they give you. If they ask for 20 in fives and give you 45, return it to them as 45 in any denomination you want that includes their small amount. They tell you to keep a portion. Don't. Give it all back at once. My method is to never take it from the top of the counter. They know the cameras can be used to show their fraud that way and will take it all and leave. 90% can be avoided by only accepting cash from customers and checking their ID before exchanging money. They will leave and not even try on most of those.
If you ever run into this, only ever return what they give you. If they ask for 20 in fives and give you 45, return it to them as 45 in any denomination you want that includes their small amount. They tell you to keep a portion. Don't. Give it all back at once. My method is to never take it from the top of the counter. They know the cameras can be used to show their fraud that way and will take it all and leave. 90% can be avoided by only accepting cash from customers and checking their ID before exchanging money. They will leave and not even try on most of those.
7points
#25
In the 2000's you could order a new credit card, not activate it, and then when you were on a long haul flight you could upgrade via the card machine to first class once onboard and then pay for the premium service and when the flight landed and got internet connection none of the purchases would be successful and you would already be out of the airport.
I never understood how they couldn't find you afterwards with your passport and credit card details but it was a big fraudulent scam that hit the newspapers multiple times. Maybe because apart from witness testimonies there wasn't a sufficient paper trail to say that you were upgraded or had any of the expensive champagne or duty free.
I never understood how they couldn't find you afterwards with your passport and credit card details but it was a big fraudulent scam that hit the newspapers multiple times. Maybe because apart from witness testimonies there wasn't a sufficient paper trail to say that you were upgraded or had any of the expensive champagne or duty free.
6points
#26
I’ll tell on myself if you guys want a “Wow that person kind of s***s” type of story. When I was younger 16-21, I worked at an Italian restaurant that paid me cash and “kept out a portion for taxes” *barf*
Anyways, I worked there for 5 years and around year 2 when I totaled the amount of money they kept that should have paid, I felt cheated, even though I was supposed to pay taxes, also. I had a vague idea on what taxes were but not a great understanding. I knew enough to know they didn’t pay taxes on their business though, being immigrants they had a grant allowing them to not pay taxes the first two years they were open. I basically was mad they were scamming me even though I was also scamming the government? I was young and just didn’t know it was as big of a deal as it is, and in my mind, I felt like if anyone deserved to keep the money it was me, not them. I was basically “unemployed” for 5 years because I was never on their books.
Anyways. I started getting mad because there was only 3 servers including me and I did a lot around the store. Ordering beer, food, writing the checks for the linens and other supplies, working 10-10 the 5 days I worked, I was severely underpaid. We used hand written tickets and no POS system, so I started completely pocketing certain cash paid tickets. When I rang out the cash people I would put it to the side and pocket it after they left and throw away both receipts, the kitchens copy and mine. Also, when people paid card, I would have to manually enter the total amount paid including tip at the end of the night, and then enter the amount paid for just the meal, so they knew what the tip was. On bigger checks, I would change the total for the food and drink by a few dollars under the actual cost so I got a bigger tip. The owners were so negligent with their business they never knew.
I would like to say that I never once stole from an *innocent person or patron* just the people that were scamming me. Looking back I can’t believe how much authority I had and how much they believed in me to not do the things that they were. I was so brazen and unafraid because I felt indignant towards them. Even on the day I rage quit, I wrote up a to-go ticket for a huge order, like 3 XL pizzas, several of my favorite dishes, and desserts, and when the owner went upstairs for his daily “nap” with a woman that was not his wife, I loaded up my car with cases of wine and all the food I had made for the make believe to-go order. I didn’t have to buy groceries for days. Even though they are scam artists in their own right I do feel pretty bad about what I did and would never do that again.
Anyways, I worked there for 5 years and around year 2 when I totaled the amount of money they kept that should have paid, I felt cheated, even though I was supposed to pay taxes, also. I had a vague idea on what taxes were but not a great understanding. I knew enough to know they didn’t pay taxes on their business though, being immigrants they had a grant allowing them to not pay taxes the first two years they were open. I basically was mad they were scamming me even though I was also scamming the government? I was young and just didn’t know it was as big of a deal as it is, and in my mind, I felt like if anyone deserved to keep the money it was me, not them. I was basically “unemployed” for 5 years because I was never on their books.
Anyways. I started getting mad because there was only 3 servers including me and I did a lot around the store. Ordering beer, food, writing the checks for the linens and other supplies, working 10-10 the 5 days I worked, I was severely underpaid. We used hand written tickets and no POS system, so I started completely pocketing certain cash paid tickets. When I rang out the cash people I would put it to the side and pocket it after they left and throw away both receipts, the kitchens copy and mine. Also, when people paid card, I would have to manually enter the total amount paid including tip at the end of the night, and then enter the amount paid for just the meal, so they knew what the tip was. On bigger checks, I would change the total for the food and drink by a few dollars under the actual cost so I got a bigger tip. The owners were so negligent with their business they never knew.
I would like to say that I never once stole from an *innocent person or patron* just the people that were scamming me. Looking back I can’t believe how much authority I had and how much they believed in me to not do the things that they were. I was so brazen and unafraid because I felt indignant towards them. Even on the day I rage quit, I wrote up a to-go ticket for a huge order, like 3 XL pizzas, several of my favorite dishes, and desserts, and when the owner went upstairs for his daily “nap” with a woman that was not his wife, I loaded up my car with cases of wine and all the food I had made for the make believe to-go order. I didn’t have to buy groceries for days. Even though they are scam artists in their own right I do feel pretty bad about what I did and would never do that again.
6points
#27
Ok.. Not a police officer here.. Worked in a Corporate hair salon. We had a class on loss prevention at one time and the lady that came to talk about what constitutes as theft with employees. One story she told us was about another salon ( located somewhere else) where the stylists themselves were stealing money right from the company. Out of five stylists, four of them were scamming the company. Instead of running credit card payments thru the corporate credit card system on the POS, they would tell the clients the cc system was down, and they would have to run the card thru another cc system.
Each of the four stylists had Square devices that they each set up like their own business so the charges went straight to their own bank accounts, and then the service would either be canceled or show up as a "no show". They finally got caught when a customer called corporate to complain about her service and was wanting a refund, the transaction was no where to be found. The sad thing was one of the stylists was the salon manager, who ended up going to prison for three years plus having to pay restitution. I'm not sure what the other three got, but I'm sure they all lost their jobs.. Just blows the mind the things people will come up with.....
Each of the four stylists had Square devices that they each set up like their own business so the charges went straight to their own bank accounts, and then the service would either be canceled or show up as a "no show". They finally got caught when a customer called corporate to complain about her service and was wanting a refund, the transaction was no where to be found. The sad thing was one of the stylists was the salon manager, who ended up going to prison for three years plus having to pay restitution. I'm not sure what the other three got, but I'm sure they all lost their jobs.. Just blows the mind the things people will come up with.....
6points
#28
My best friend growing up is a detective and had a crazy story..
A couple worked at the Walmart home office annex dedicated to the start up of the Walmart self check out for level 1 tech. ( Store employees would work them to fix problems at the machines).
A few months after they got fired they started going to wal Mart and scanning crazy amounts of stuff to self check out, and walk out without paying. With a receipt.
What they did?
They would put scotch tape on one of the scanners so when the associate tried to scan their badge it wouldn't work. The workers had to input their 4 digit I'd into the computer to put up the assistance menu. And from there they would canc the item.
These two knew how the system worked and would simpl watch and see the code. When the associate would leave, they would get back into the menu and cancel the entire order. This would print a (suspended transaction) receipt, which looked the exact same as a normal receipt except it says ***suspended transaction** at the very bottom...
They didn't get caught for over a year.
A couple worked at the Walmart home office annex dedicated to the start up of the Walmart self check out for level 1 tech. ( Store employees would work them to fix problems at the machines).
A few months after they got fired they started going to wal Mart and scanning crazy amounts of stuff to self check out, and walk out without paying. With a receipt.
What they did?
They would put scotch tape on one of the scanners so when the associate tried to scan their badge it wouldn't work. The workers had to input their 4 digit I'd into the computer to put up the assistance menu. And from there they would canc the item.
These two knew how the system worked and would simpl watch and see the code. When the associate would leave, they would get back into the menu and cancel the entire order. This would print a (suspended transaction) receipt, which looked the exact same as a normal receipt except it says ***suspended transaction** at the very bottom...
They didn't get caught for over a year.
6points
#29
Not a cop (but I read the police reports), but at a place I worked at the new accountant was doing the following:
The manager was signing blank checks to pay the employees because it was easier so the accountant was making out checks to employees on their vacations/days off and then having her boyfriend go to check cashing places to cash the checks. They stole over $30,000 before she was caught over some very minor thing where she tried to physically cover up the date (with her finger) on something she was showing to someone in the office and someone noticed. They did an audit and it was found out what she was doing.
The manager was quietly forced to leave by the board of directors, but one of them got him another job out of state doing the same thing.
It was all hush hush because they board of directors didnt want people knowing about it.
The manager was signing blank checks to pay the employees because it was easier so the accountant was making out checks to employees on their vacations/days off and then having her boyfriend go to check cashing places to cash the checks. They stole over $30,000 before she was caught over some very minor thing where she tried to physically cover up the date (with her finger) on something she was showing to someone in the office and someone noticed. They did an audit and it was found out what she was doing.
The manager was quietly forced to leave by the board of directors, but one of them got him another job out of state doing the same thing.
It was all hush hush because they board of directors didnt want people knowing about it.
6points
#30
Not a police officer but I saw this story of a black guy wearing a blonde wig with a white person halloween type mask over his face with sun glasses so the cops thought they were looking for a white guy when it was really a black guy😭.
5points
#31
Not a Policeman... but I used to work with a guy who claimed that he used to work as a low-level mule for the Triads in SF.
On one of his jobs, (back in the early 90s) he was supposed to steal a delivery truck out of a Sears parking garage. The truck had been previously loaded with... stuff... and his task was to grab it before it was inspected and then take the goods into the Triads' own distribution network.
Now, this garage was a huge bay-style building capable of parking multiple delivery trucks. Zero windows. The roof and all the doors were alarmed and had cameras.
So my buddy took an old station-wagon down to the garage in the middle of the night. He put the care in reverse, dropped the hammer and BACKED THROUGH THE WALL. No alarms there.
On one of his jobs, (back in the early 90s) he was supposed to steal a delivery truck out of a Sears parking garage. The truck had been previously loaded with... stuff... and his task was to grab it before it was inspected and then take the goods into the Triads' own distribution network.
Now, this garage was a huge bay-style building capable of parking multiple delivery trucks. Zero windows. The roof and all the doors were alarmed and had cameras.
So my buddy took an old station-wagon down to the garage in the middle of the night. He put the care in reverse, dropped the hammer and BACKED THROUGH THE WALL. No alarms there.
5points
#32
Back when self checkouts first came out, me and a buddy would grab a case of sodas and a case of beer, swap the contents, ditch the beer case full of soda and buy the soda case full of beer. We were underage so not only cheap but accessible.
5points
#33
My grandfather arrested a guy for counterfeiting $20 bills back in the day. He mentioned the only reason they caught this guy was because a clerk noticed he had been given two bills with the exact same serial number. He firmly believed that if it weren’t for his slip-up, the perp could’ve been in the clear for awhile since he lived rather modestly. Those were the only details my grandpa was immediately aware of because the Secret Service took the perp into custody not long after, and took over the investigation.
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4points
#34
My office was in a strip mall with a storage unit facility behind it.
These crooks rented a unit so they had access to the whole facility. They’d go to someone else’s unit, use bolt cutters to get off the padlock, steal anything worth money, then replace the lock with the same brand and put stuff into their own unit for a bit.
The facility was walked through daily and all looked good cuz the locks were all there. And who visits your storage unit daily? So it took awhile for anyone to notice missing items.
We are a navy town and so lots of families would get a unit for a short time while their housing situation was settled. So, lots of good stuff to be had.
They got caught when other towns in the state figured out they’d already been hit and all storage facilities were notified. Also, I think they used their real names.
These crooks rented a unit so they had access to the whole facility. They’d go to someone else’s unit, use bolt cutters to get off the padlock, steal anything worth money, then replace the lock with the same brand and put stuff into their own unit for a bit.
The facility was walked through daily and all looked good cuz the locks were all there. And who visits your storage unit daily? So it took awhile for anyone to notice missing items.
We are a navy town and so lots of families would get a unit for a short time while their housing situation was settled. So, lots of good stuff to be had.
They got caught when other towns in the state figured out they’d already been hit and all storage facilities were notified. Also, I think they used their real names.
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3points
#35
I was watching some security camera video of two criminals stealing a barrel of methylamine, and they used thermite to melt through the lock on the door, but then when they moved the barrel out they actually carried it instead of rolling it. It's a barrel! You roll it!
2points
#36
Not a cop, but a fairly well known story from my last (major manufacturing) company. Apparently an engineer at another factory set up a shell corporation to buy fake parts from. He would regularly place purchase requests for "parts" that his equipment needed, and the area supervisor (who could approve up to $2k purchase requests) would approve them without looking to far into it. Then he would ship boxes filled with fake junk to himself at the factory, shipping/receiving would get it and finish the invoice/paperwork (thus paying himself) and nobody was any bit the wiser.
The trick was that this guy had been in that department for many years and basically knew everything about the machines in his area, and the shift supervisors tend to rotate around every few years. Give the parts believable names, and then set them up in your inventory system as critical spares or frequent wear items, and it handles itself. No supervisor would ever question it since it became so routine, and he had so much more machine knowledge then the sups that even when they would start out and ask what it was he could feed them a load of believable BS because there are tons of other legit things that go the same way. Apparently they figured he imbezzled a few million dollars over the years before getting caught.
The trick was that this guy had been in that department for many years and basically knew everything about the machines in his area, and the shift supervisors tend to rotate around every few years. Give the parts believable names, and then set them up in your inventory system as critical spares or frequent wear items, and it handles itself. No supervisor would ever question it since it became so routine, and he had so much more machine knowledge then the sups that even when they would start out and ask what it was he could feed them a load of believable BS because there are tons of other legit things that go the same way. Apparently they figured he imbezzled a few million dollars over the years before getting caught.
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2points
#37
Back in the late 80s/early 90s a guy I knew went Interrailling around Europe for a couple of months.
Took a new credit card. Used it sensibly. Paris it of when he spent more than a few quid.
When he got to the town he was getting the ferry home from he bought lunch in a cafe, then maxed it out... Leather jacket, watch, jewelry, high end stuff... Then gets on the ferry. Mid-Channel the card goes over the side.
As soon he's off the boat in England he calls the card company... "I've lost my card in France... Last thing I bought was lunch." Provided the receipt from lunch, and they believed him, no follow up at all.
Doubt it would work now as a scam. They'd check the times, CCTV was less common and it was all paper not electronic transactions.
Took a new credit card. Used it sensibly. Paris it of when he spent more than a few quid.
When he got to the town he was getting the ferry home from he bought lunch in a cafe, then maxed it out... Leather jacket, watch, jewelry, high end stuff... Then gets on the ferry. Mid-Channel the card goes over the side.
As soon he's off the boat in England he calls the card company... "I've lost my card in France... Last thing I bought was lunch." Provided the receipt from lunch, and they believed him, no follow up at all.
Doubt it would work now as a scam. They'd check the times, CCTV was less common and it was all paper not electronic transactions.
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2points
#38
(Australian) Not a cop but my little hustle used to be this: Walk through grocery store and do a big shop. Scan and pay for everything at self serve checkout while holding the most expensive tray of steaks/cheese etc, under my left arm. Once other groceries were bagged up, I'd walk out still holding the expensive stuff I didn't pay for under my left arm. In 10 yrs I've been asked to walk back and pay twice. You just act like you've come off a 12 hr shift and you just forgot so you can't possibly be charged with theft, you're just an overworked bluecollar worker that's half asleep.
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2points
#39
My husband worked at a grocery store for many years when he was a teenager. He knew of a clerk who would help his buddies steal hundreds of dollars of products from the store by some slight of hand at the register. He would hold a ten cent packet of kool aid in his hand as he would pretend to scan all the items so each item 'scanned' would only be ten cents each but to the cameras above and to anyone watching there wasn't any suspicion because the scanner would beep each time. Not sure if he ever got caught.
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2points
#40
I knew a guy many years ago who would go into a Walmart with a receipt for a bigger ticket item like an expensive Microwave, take one off the shelf and return it for cash at customer service.
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2points
