55 Sleepwalking Stories For The Night Adventurer In You

"My boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and I’m becoming a SANDWICH”. Still makes me laugh whenever i remember."

"My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep."

"This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers."

"My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted "DONKEY KICK!" as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun."

"Not my current partner but my ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep and the funniest story was this one time i was still up reading a book and i hadn't noticed that he was already asleep next to me. Suddenly he bursts out " Will you just give me the f*cking yogurt already, Shannon!?" in a flawless british accent and scares the sh*t out of me.

We're both german and none of our first languages include English. We didn't know a Shannon. He's lactose-intolerant."

"He started shouting that he couldn’t feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up at all."

"Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body."

"We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, B*tch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious."

"My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!”

I found this story deeply unsettling."

"Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way f*cking higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-*ss grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep.

What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a f*cking dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds."

"When I was a child about 5 years old, I was sleeping in my parents bed for some reason (probably a storm). Mom was awake, dad and I were asleep. Suddenly my father and I have this cross-sleep conversation while my mom lays between us, quietly freaked out:

"Dad, you better not take my toys!" I mutter angrily.

"Ok, I won't" my father responds.

"Don't even touch them."

"Ok."

Not particularly scintillating conversation, but notable for the fact that were both asleep and still responding to each other. It was like making Alexa and Siri talk to each other lol."

"My grandfather was a hard sleep talker, my grandmother has a funny story.

One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying "do I punch this **shole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her."

"Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been.

"Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat."

"Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh.""

"My girlfriend was sleep working one night.
Her: "Can we get that done this week?"
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "Can we get that done this week?"
Me: "Sorry?"
Her: "Can we get that done this week please?"
Me: "Ok."
Her: "Thanks.""

"When my girlfriend and I started dating she told me that she’s been told she talks in her sleep from time to time, and unfortunately has nightmares fairly often. One of the first nights we spent together she wakes up at 2am and sits up super fast. It wakes me up and I look over only to hear her quickly say, “Pizza. Order a pizza,” then lie back down and start snoring within a minute. God I love that woman lmao."

"Some day, idk when, I Just sleepwalked over to the fridge, took Out an whole *ss Chicken and threw it down the balcony where it nearly knocked of somebody down there."

"Ex-roommate talked in his sleep. Once, he cried out, "NO GANDALF!""

"Not my partner, but my mom.

She talks and moves a lot during the night. Last week she started running while laying down (yes, just like dogs do) and also screaming “get out of the way, get out of the way!”.

I woke up in the other room to the sound of my dad first wondering what the f*ck was going on and then laughing his ass off when he was telling me what had just happened."

"Just last night my husband sat up like a bullet and began searching for his watch. He found it and declared, “We shall call it Pumpkintown!” He hands me the watch like an award and shakes my hand and says that he is the Mayor of Pumpkintown. Then I said Oooh thank you Mayor! He next layed down smiling from ear to ear. I ask “Were you recently elected?” He says “Yes! Yes!” And nods his head emphatically. He then puts his watch on. I ask him way. He says “I always need to know the time here ‘cause I’m the mayor!” He is so proud to be Mayor that for the rest of the night he says it periodically. The next day he remembers nothing."

"Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table."