Did you know that sleep talking is one of the most common abnormal behaviors that can happen during sleep? Formally referred to as somniloquy, this disorder characterizes talking while sleeping without being aware of it. And it can be so. much. fun. Well, maybe not for the person who's doing the talking, but rather the one who gets to hear it. Because let's face it, people say the funniest things while sleep-talking (or sometimes, the creepiest). So, when one Reddit user asked people on the platform to share the gems that they heard from their sleep-talking or sleep-walking partners or family members, the thread blew up instantly. So many stories! So much hilariousness! There were pleas to stop putting bread in someone's ears, songs about a "corner cat" and so many more things you'll have to read for yourself.
Scroll down below to read the full list and don't forget to vote for the entries you liked the most! In addition to this, we're encouraging you to share any funny/creepy/weird/etc. stories you have on sleep-talking or sleep-walking in the comment section!
More info: Reddit
#1
So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly. When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!” I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep
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219points
#2
Heck yes. Please take a seat.
My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:
Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly.
Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”
But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.
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219points
#3
my boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and i’m becoming a SANDWICH”. still makes me laugh whenever i remember
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178points
#4
My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!”
He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.
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166points
#5
Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-ass grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep.
What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a [damn] dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds.
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164points
#6
Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body
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162points
#8
Napping with the boyfriend, a loud noise wakes me, but hes still out
me: What was that?!
him: Either a tree or a magic eraser
him: Either a tree or a magic eraser
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159points
#9
My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something.
I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct.
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159points
#10
This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers.
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152points
#11
I remember one night mum and I sat in the hallway giggling because my brother and dad were having a sleep conversation in different rooms.
Dad : “DO YOU SELL STEEL HERE?”
Brother : “CAN I HELP YOU DAD?”
Dad : “I WANT TO BUY SOME STEEL”
Brother : “WHAT?”
Dad : “HOW MUCH IS THE STEEL”
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148points
#12
Lmaoo one time, my ex was asleep and start to snore progressively loud. He startled himself half awake, and he says out loud (to himself) "shut UP, I'm sleeping". Oh I snorted my drink through my nose
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138points
#13
My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.
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135points
#14
My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted "DONKEY KICK!" as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun.
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134points
#16
Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been
"Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat"
"Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."
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131points
#17
I'm the sleeptalker here; got this from my wife the next morning.
Me: sits bolt upright They're coming. Everything's ready.
Wife: sleepily huh?
Me: They're coming. Everything's ready.
Wife: They're coming?
Me: Mmm hmm.
Wife: But everything's ready?
Me: ... yes
Wife: Sounds like we're ok then.
Me: Comically flops back down and instantly goes back to sleep.
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130points
#18
My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story.
One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying" do i punch this asshole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.
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119points
#19
We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, B**ch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious.
Also, this happened before Breaking Bad was a big thing, so maybe my husband is the original Jesse Pinkman? Except without all the meth and mayhem, of course.
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115points
#20
my mom tells a story about a time she fell asleep with her arm above her head. it lost circulation and dropped onto her chest but she had no feeling in it since it “fell asleep”. when it flopped on her chest she woke up and tried to throw her asleep arm, screaming that a dead hand had fallen on her.
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109points