Commenting on someone’s body is almost always a bad idea, no matter how well-meaning you think you’re being. What sounds like a harmless observation to you can mean something very different to the person hearing it.
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One woman became a target at work once she started bringing homemade lunches to the office. Almost overnight, her coworkers turned on her, mocking her “rabbit food” and taking digs at how skinny she was. When she finally tried to get help, nobody seemed to take her seriously, not even HR.
After months of putting up with it, she snapped.
One woman found herself being body-shamed at the office for being “skinny”
But when she finally complained about it, nobody seemed to think it was a real problem, not even HR
Positive or negative, comments about someone’s body can still make them feel uncomfortable
There’s a common idea that remarks about someone’s body are somehow less hurtful when that person is thin. Since slimmer bodies are often treated as more conventionally attractive, calling someone “skinny” can sound like something they should simply take as a compliment. That can also make it easier to dismiss them when they say those words are actually bothering them.
Body shaming can happen to people of all sizes, though. According to one survey, almost 60% of adults said they had experienced it because of their weight, hair, or even the size of their feet. It really shows how almost any part of someone’s appearance can become a target once people decide they have the right to judge it.
Licensed psychologist Rachel Needle, Psy.D., explains that comments about weight can be uncomfortable whether they sound positive or negative. They put someone’s body under a spotlight and can make them feel watched in a way they never asked for.
For the woman in this story, her figure and eating habits became regular topics among her coworkers, which understandably made her feel uncomfortable.
People often bring up someone else’s body because they think they’re being supportive or helpful. If someone loses weight, for example, they might say, “Oh my god, you’ve lost so much weight! You look amazing.” It sounds encouraging, but it can also imply that the person didn’t look good before, making the whole thing come across as backhanded.
And when someone gains weight, people may suggest they lose a few pounds or watch what they eat. They often claim they’re only saying it because they care about the person’s health. The problem is that you can’t always tell how well someone is just by looking at them.
One paper found that many people classified as overweight or obese based on BMI had normal metabolic health, while some people in the “normal” BMI range had significant health problems. So there’s a lot more to health than someone’s size.
If you genuinely want to make someone feel good, Needle recommends using words that don’t focus on weight. For instance, you could tell them they seem happy or confident. Saying someone looks strong or that they’re glowing can also make them feel good without turning their size into the main focus.
The coworkers in this story certainly had plenty of chances to take that approach. Instead, they kept picking apart the woman’s lunches and body until the whole thing became a source of stress for her.
At least, by the end of the story, she was finally able to get the issue taken seriously and her coworkers faced consequences for how they behaved.
What do you think about how the company handled the whole thing? Was the final outcome fair, considering how difficult it was for her to get anyone to listen? Or do you think the consequences should have been more serious? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Readers agreed she definitely wasn’t overreacting and shared plenty of advice on what she could do next
The woman later returned with an update, explaining how everything played out
People were happy to see that she’d stood up for herself and hadn’t simply let the whole thing slide
