Accepting ourselves just as we are is a tough thing. We always tend to find any small imperfections that we want to change, improve or hide. We compare ourselves with others, worry about their opinions and put so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Well, sometimes things happen, our appearance changes unexpectedly and it takes an even longer period of time to accept ourselves.
One Reddit user recently posted her story, telling folks online that 7 years ago, she lost all her hair and would constantly wear wigs. Recently she finally stopped wearing them, but was told to put one on for her sister’s wedding, which caused drama for the whole family.
More info: Reddit
Losing hair may be hard psychologically, thus support from our loved ones is crucial
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Teen shares that when she was 10 years old, she lost all her hair; it bothered her a lot, so she constantly used to wear wigs to hide it
Image credits: J Ade (not the actual photo)
Luckily, recently she finally accepted herself and stopped wearing wigs in general, but her older sister insisted that she wear one for her wedding
Image credits: Marcel Strauß (not the actual photo)
The teen refused to do so, which caused an argument as her sister said it’s a small thing to do for her wedding day, and their parents are on the older sister’s side
Image credits: u/Background_Boat_4498
She notes that she feels like they're trying to hide that she’s bald despite everyone knowing it
A few days ago, a Reddit user shared her story online, asking community members if she was being a jerk for refusing to wear a wig to her sister’s wedding despite both her sister and parents asking her to. The post caught a lot of attention and collected 5.5K upvotes and 1.3K comments.
The original poster (OP) starts her story by opening up that when she was 10 years old (7 years ago), she lost all her hair and has been bald since. As probably all of us can imagine, she notes that at first it bothered her a lot and she used to always wear wigs to hide it. However, recently, she finally accepted herself and stopped wearing them completely.
Now, her older sister is getting married and asked her to wear a wig to the wedding. She refused to do it, but her sister and parents still tried to convince her that it’s just a little thing to do. OP adds that she feels like they are trying to hide that she’s bald, despite everybody knowing it and having seen her without a wig.
Community members backed up the teen and gave her the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge, stating that the most important are people’s personalities, not how they look or their ‘aesthetics’. “It treats people like props for a photo shoot and not family or friends,” one user wrote. “Your sister evidently doesn't care about your comfort and yet again it's all about the photos and wedding aesthetic. I'm glad you no longer feel conscious to the point you feel you need to wear a wig,” another added.
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
“We are all desirous of others’ positive thoughts, and others' negative responses can hurt our feelings and enhance our own negative thoughts and feelings,” F. Diane Barth, who is a psychotherapist, psychoanalyst and blogger, told Bored Panda. “But if we are secure in ourselves, often with the support of others, then we are less distressed by the negativity of others.”
She also added that for many of us, it’s not just the impact of others, but also the impact of what we think others might be thinking. “I know of a number of instances where someone convinced themselves that another person disapproved of them, but later found out that the other person did not have any such thoughts or feelings. It turned out in these cases that the critical thoughts were coming from inside the person themselves.”
Speaking about common challenges that people face in the process of learning to accept themselves, Diane points out that when we internalize the beliefs communicated by others, or when those beliefs fit with what we already believe, it can be hard to accept ourselves for who we are.
“Finding people who give you genuinely positive feedback, and finding ways to appreciate yourself whether or not you fit the image conveyed by the media or demanded by your parents or loved ones is not always easy; but it can make a world of difference in how you feel about yourself,” she emphasized.
Now, Diane shares that helping a child develop self-confidence is important and not always easy. Reinforcing a child's positive qualities and acknowledging the difficulties of the ones they don’t like while not agreeing with the criticism is very important.
In the case of the OP, who is finally making peace with her baldness, the expert emphasizes that her desire to be who she is without hiding is admirable. “How wonderful that she has been able to achieve that level of self-confidence. Perhaps she is still a little vulnerable about it, and perhaps she would like her sister’s positive reinforcement.”
“Maybe this young woman and her sister are both worried about the same thing—standing up for themselves in the face of other people’s opinions! An honest conversation, where they both listen and share, might lead to a meaningful resolution of the problem.”
And what are your takes on this story? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Redditors stood on the author's side and shamed her sister
