Good communication and timing aren’t just useful at the office, they can be very helpful in family contexts, too. When a relative of yours announces that they’re having a child, it’s usually cause for celebration. However, there’s a time and a place for this sort of happy moment. Generally, you want to make the announcement its own thing instead of having it overlap with other celebrations.
Redditor u/OkSeaworthiness6960 went viral on the AITAH online group after sharing a disagreement he had with his family over the holidays. According to the author, instead of a proper Christmas present, his sister gave him a wrapped-up pregnancy test. However, he called her out on this, claiming that this doesn’t count as a proper Xmas gift. He asked for the internet’s verdict. Scroll down to read the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
When your entire family has a long-running tradition of exchanging gifts, naturally, you expect to get something
Image credits: francescosgura (not the actual photo)
One man was upset that instead of a proper present, his sister announced that she was having a child
Image credits: Farknot (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OkSeaworthiness6960
Raising children is very expensive. Some parents start prioritizing their finances when they learn they're pregnant
As a rule of thumb, if you and your family agree to exchange Christmas presents, then you should follow through. It’d be weird to go back on your promise.
Not to mention that if you have a long-running family tradition that spans years or even decades, it means a lot to everyone that you honor it. The point isn’t the exact tradition itself, so much as there is a tradition that connects everyone and gives them a reason to get together.
Of course, you could argue that the mother-to-be’s new top priority is her child. And raising kids is expensive, so it makes some sense to save every penny… though this shouldn’t be done at the expense of your relationships.
As per Investopedia, it costs a lot of money to raise a child in the United States. Data from the Brookings Institution economic think tank shows that the average middle-income American family with two children will spend $310,605 to raise a child born in 2015 up to the age of 17 in 2032.
This is a very marked increase from previous stats published by the US Department of Agriculture which back in 2017 estimated the cost to be $233,610.
The greatest expense for parents is housing, which eats up around a third of their income and covers things from mortgage and rent to taxes, insurance, repairs, utilities, maintenance, and household goods. Of course, the exact expenses will vary depending on your lifestyle and where you live.
None of these expenses factor in the cost of higher education, which can balloon the cost of raising a child even further. A lot will depend on the particular program, its length, and whether it’s a public or private university.
The average annual in-state cost for a public college in the US for the 2023-2024 academic year was $24,030. The cost was $56,190 for private colleges. These numbers include tuition, fees, and room and board.
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
That being said, family traditions and good relationships with your loved ones are also important. There's also a time and a place for pregnancy announcements
Though, to be fair, getting your loved ones a gift or two once a year isn’t going to destroy your budget. What’s more, when one person feels left out, it’s going to strain your relationship and lead to some resentment. That’s not great for you if you hope to ask them to babysit your kid in the future.
If your children are your top priority in life, that’s all fair. That being said, they can’t be your only priority. People are more than just parents. And life is more than just about raising kids. There has to be some sort of balance.
You’ve got other important people in your life to maintain relationships with, namely your family and friends. If you constantly neglect and ignore them, you might regret it later. Meanwhile, you also can’t forget your career, passion projects, creative hobbies, health, etc.
Meanwhile, there’s the question of timing. Broadly speaking, you shouldn’t make any important announcements if they overlap with massive events or other people’s celebrations. This is so that the event doesn’t suddenly start revolving around you and you alone.
For instance, you shouldn’t announce that you’re pregnant or engaged at someone else’s wedding or engagement party. Similarly, it feels a bit bizarre to announce your pregnancy via a Secret Santa gift. Such an important piece of news deserves the right setting. You could, for example, invite your loved ones over to dinner at your place to share the happy news.
Alternatively, if your family is scattered all over the world and rarely gets together in the same place except for the holidays, then your announcement could happen after all the gift exchanges, festivities, etc.
You could use it as a way to finish the family gathering on a high note. And it doesn’t have to be anything overly elaborate. Simply getting up and telling everyone that you’d like to share some good news about the family expanding is enough. It’s also helpful if your partner is there by your side to offer you their support.
What's your take, Pandas? Do you think the guy was right to be upset? How would you have announced your pregnancy to the entire family? Let us know in the comments.
Image credits: alexlucru123 (not the actual photo)
Most readers were on the guy's side. Here's what they said after reading through what happened
Not everyone was convinced. Some people called the man out for how he reacted
