Who a woman chooses to have in the delivery room when she gives birth is a big deal. It's typically someone she trusts, feels comfortable around and isn't afraid to be vulnerable in front of. For some, it's a partner. For others, a friend or relative.
One woman says her sister was by her side when she gave birth, and even held her baby before she did. Little did she know that this same sister was silently plotting to 'steal' the father of her child. That only emerged two years later, when the person she genuinely trusted blew her mind by admitting they'd slept with her ex before and the two are now "official."
Her sister has always played a big part in her daughter's life, almost acting as a second mom to the 2YO
Little did she know that her sister was silently plotting to become the child's future stepmother
"You’re allowed to say no, prioritize your peace, and protect your healing process": a therapist's advice
Betrayal in any form can cut like a knife. But when it’s coming from someone you’ve known your entire life, and someone you genuinely trust, the knife doesn’t just cut… It twists and turns as it goes deeper and deeper into your heart. It hurts on a physical level, and there’s a scientific reason for this.
According to the experts at IMPACT Psychological Services, research using brain imaging has shown that betrayal activates many of the same neural regions as physical pain. “The anterior cingulate cortex and insula, areas involved in processing pain, show similar patterns of activation whether we're experiencing physical injury or social rejection,” they explain.
And it doesn’t end there. Psychologists say that being betrayed sends us into fight or flight mode. It triggers our nervous system's threat response, and our bodies end up flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. IMPACT’s team adds that this is exactly why betrayal can lead to physical symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, rapid heartbeat, digestive issues, and chronic tension.
“When the betrayal comes from a family member, especially a parent or sibling, it can be particularly damaging because these are our earliest attachment relationships,” say the experts. “Family betrayals often involve complex loyalty conflicts and may be minimized by other family members who want to maintain family cohesion.”
The first step to healing from deep betrayal is acknowledging that it happened, and taking the time to reflect on how you were hurt.
“The simple act of naming what we’re feeling can improve emotional regulation,” reveals the Talkspace team. The team suggests writing out what happened, or saying it out loud to yourself: “I was betrayed by [name of family member] when they [action], and it made me feel [emotion].”
Never be afraid to seek professional help if everything feels like it’s too much. And don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries, or even cutting off the person who hurt you.
“If the person who betrayed you is still in your life in some capacity, set firm boundaries in your relationship with them to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being," notes the VeryWell Mind site.
Setting boundaries with a sibling or other family member might feel strange at first, and could even leave you feeling guilty.
"That will change," say Talkspace's therapists. "You’re allowed to say no, prioritize your peace, and protect your healing process."
Many stood in the woman's corner but some accused her of weaponizing her child
