“AITA For Kicking SIL Out After She Threw Away Most Of My Single-Use Baby Products & Formula?”

There are nearly as many parenting styles as there are parents themselves. Even if they follow certain guidelines or methods—be it helicopter, gentle, permissive, or any other type of parenting—no two parents raise their little ones the same way.

This redditor, for instance, chose a very different approach to parenting than her sister-in-law did, which eventually became problematic. The SIL did some cleaning up and got rid of everything she wouldn’t use herself, despite the things being necessary for the OP.

Nowadays, there are all sorts of parenting styles people choose to raise their children according to. There’s authoritarian parenting, based on a child obeying strict rules established by their parent. There’s also the authoritative type, when the child is provided with clear guidelines for parents’ expectations and disciplinary actions, which are used as a way of supporting rather than punishing a child. Moms and dads with no or minimal expectations are often representatives of permissive parenting, and those who give their offspring a lot of freedom and tend to stay out of their way would likely side with those in favor of uninvolved parenting.

While these are just a few examples of approaches to parenting, they seem to be some of the most popular ones. A 2023 survey by YouGov found that one of the aforementioned—the authoritative style—stands out from all the rest, as the majority of surveyed Americans consider it to be an effective one. In addition to that, the largest group of respondents said that it’s the style their parents used while raising them.

The majority of surveyed people, who are parents to at least one child younger than 18, said they use authoritative or gentle parenting themselves. The two approaches were followed by authoritarian, permissive, helicopter, and uninvolved parenting respectively.

Said helicopter parenting refers to excessive levels of involvement and control on the parents' part, which often stems from them worrying about their offspring’s safety, well-being, or abilities; like helicopters, they tend to hover, too, watching their children’s every move. Gentle parenting is based on empathy, respect, understanding, and setting boundaries, and is usually punishment-free.

In addition to all the parenting styles, there’s another group of moms and dads, known as “crunchy” parents, whom the OP’s brother and her sister-in-law seemingly belonged to. They are the people who typically go for the natural option instead of the mass-produced one, be it nappies (reusable vs. single-use ones), food (breastfeeding vs. using formula), or even childbirth (hospital vs. home birth).

If you’re thinking, “Well, that must be it with the different variants”, that’s where you’re wrong, as on the other end of this spectrum, typically going for the exact opposite of what crunchy parents opt for are “silky” parents, with “scrunchy” moms and dads staying somewhere in between.

While there is clearly an abundance of types and methods those with children can live according to, one thing is true in all cases—the same way you are free to choose whichever you believe is best, others should have the same freedom, too. In the OP’s case, the SIL was forcing her ways on the new mom by “doing some cleaning” and getting rid of all the redditor was using.

In addition to throwing away something that did not belong to her, which is already something one might frown upon, the SIL got rid of things that were crucial to the baby’s well-being, such as formula, which the OP seemingly used due to low milk supply. When asked to replace all the things she dumped, the SIL said she couldn’t afford to, since, as many parents know, formula is quite expensive. That was one of the reasons why fellow netizens sided with the OP and said she was in no way a jerk in the situation.