Grief is one of the hardest things to navigate in life. It’s overwhelming, and it impacts all aspects of a person’s life. Even simply maintaining normal relationships can become nearly impossible for someone who has just suffered a devastating loss.
And unfortunately, it’s common for their loved ones to have trouble tiptoeing around the situation as well. It’s easy to accidentally offend when emotions are so heightened. But sometimes, the person trying to provide “support” really is to blame for their poor choices. One grieving mother reached out to Reddit for advice after she was gifted a doll that resembled her late son. Below, you’ll find the full story that she shared, as well as some of the replies invested readers left her.
Losing a child is one of the worst things a parent can go through
So when this grieving mom was gifted a baby doll of her late son, she was extremely offended
Parents may experience a wide range of emotions while grieving the loss of a child
Losing a child is something that no parent should ever have to experience. Nothing can prepare you for it, and the pain that it causes will last a lifetime. There’s also no right or wrong way to react to this kind of life-altering experience.
The Gidget Foundation notes that there is a wide range of symptoms that parents might experience after losing an infant. They may feel permanent guilt or constantly question what they could have done differently. They may be in a state of shock initially.
They may be distressed or experience post-traumatic symptoms. It’s also common for grieving parents to wonder what to tell their friends and family members about what happened. They will likely feel disconnected from the world around them, and they may experience flashbacks.
It’s possible to even experience physical symptoms, such as still feeling pregnant, loss of appetite, headaches, stomach aches, and/or sleep issues. They may also look for ways to keep their child’s memory alive.
While there’s obviously nothing that a friend or family member can do to fix the situation, the NHS does have some suggestions for ways to offer practical and emotional support to a grieving loved one.
When it comes to practical support, it can be helpful to provide healthy meals or groceries for the grieving parents. It’s also a good idea to encourage them to maintain a healthy sleep schedule, as difficult as that may be. Helping them around the house by cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, and tidying up can go a long way too.
They might also appreciate some help keeping track of appointments, so they don’t have to take on that mental load. Meanwhile, if they have other children, babysitting or lending a hand for childcare can be much appreciated as well.
It's important for loved ones to offer support, but they should understand that it may not always be welcomed
Of course, emotional support is also necessary after going through something so traumatic. Having conversations with a grieving parent can be tricky, as you won’t know exactly what they’re comfortable discussing or what will trigger them.
But being there to listen is almost always appreciated. Don’t judge anything that the parents have to say, and don’t try to come up with solutions. Just be there to hear them out, and let them know that you have their back.
At the same time, it’s important to know that the parents may react negatively to your support. Even if your heart is in the right place, they are extremely vulnerable, and they might take their frustrations out on the people they love the most. Don’t be upset if they’re angry or want distance from you. Give them whatever they need, even if that’s space.
Now, when it comes to realistic baby dolls like the one mentioned in this story, LifeStance Health explains that these are sometimes used in therapy. And some grieving parents do find that having a doll helps them work through their complicated emotions.
But these dolls are controversial. Some people complain that the dolls make them uncomfortable, especially when parents treat them as if they are actually alive. And it should be entirely up to the parents to decide whether or not they want one of these dolls; a relative shouldn’t make that choice for them.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think the author reacted appropriately to the “gift” from her sister-in-law? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another article from Bored Panda discussing similar family drama right here.
Later, the author responded to a few comments and shared more background information
The majority of readers assured the mother that she had done nothing wrong, and many shared supportive messages
However, not everyone was on her side
