50 People Are Sharing The Signs That Made Them Realize They Were Raised By Toxic Parents

You feel intimidated by everyone around you, you feel like you're never good enough for anyone, no matter how much they tell you that you don't need to try so hard, and you generally have low self-worth.

Edit: Wow. I don't know whether to feel encouraged that so many people know where I’m coming from with this, or heartbroken about it. Either way, thank you, everyone.

A second chance to do it better when you have kids. Every time I got angry or upset with my own children, I would take a breath and think about what my mom would do—and then do the exact opposite. Lots of laughter and forgiveness in our house and zero violence. My mantra has always been “there is value in a bad example.”

Doing everything yourself, not asking for help, because you knew no help was coming.

Never believing a compliment. Always being anxious that people are mad at you/ignoring you if they're being quiet/not responding. Not being able to deal with confrontation/conflict in a constructive/healthy way.

Basically you get shitty people skills and emotional damage.

Over-explain the tiniest issues because of a compulsive need to justify every thought, action or inaction

You can't identify your own emotions immediately, or sometimes at all, but can identify others without them having to say a word. Don't know how to react to things in the moment, and are extremely mature for your age. Mature kids often aren't a result of great parenting.

I had to sneak out of the house through my bedroom window to go to school and take my finals because my mom locked my room from the outside. This was punishment because I wouldn’t do the dishes because I was cramming for my exams. To top it off after she locked me in my room she went to the breaker and turned off the lights to my bedroom so I wouldn’t have any lighting to study and I had to spend the whole night studying with a flashlight.

I aced all my exams. And instead of my mother being proud of me she locked me up in my room for a week for sneaking out.

I ended up going to college and grad school in STEM and made something of myself. And now she brags to people that I am successful because of her. When she says that I tell her and everyone “absolutely not! I’m successful DESPITE her”.

The panicked rush to jump and start “doing something” when you hear someone come in the house. Lest you be subjected to a barrage of insults and commands.

Why is nobody mentioning the silent foot steps?

When you grow up with parents that will yell at you for existing you develop the ability to hide your presence as much as possible and always try to keep your noise and visibility to a minimum.

Emotional numbness especially in the face of bad things. Once you've seen enough shit certain things just don't faze you anymore

Okay lets do it -

self doubt, self esteem issues and overall not feeling good enough or feeling like you have an intense obligation or expectation to fulfil to keep your parents happy.

The inability to know what you want or not knowing how to say no when someone asks something of you in fear they will react poorly.

Inability to be assertive and telling people what you are/aren't ok with.

Not having high values of yourself and putting everyone else before you.

Feeling guilt the minute you 'let someone down.'

TRIGGER WORDS - example 'I'm disappointed'

Having a habit of toxic and repetitive relationships with friends and partners. Also switching around friend groups often or having little to none.

Feeling emotionally inept or being extremely emotional and feeling like you cannot express it.

Difficulty with maintaining life skills, self care, hygiene, finances ect

feeling like a child stuck in an adults body

You apologize for everything you do, good or bad.

Paranoia when people are just being nice. Like why are you being friendly? What do I have that you want from me?

Being a people-pleaser to the point of it being detrimental to yourself

being really good at hiding things (physical or mental). being able to sneak something to my room, being able to look like i haven't cried even though i was five minutes ago.

Being afraid that you'll continue the cycle and treat your kids terribly

You are in your 40s and still crave attention and validation from anyone at all because you were ignored all the time.

When i tell stories of my childhood that i think are funny but my friends stare in horror

Being surprised people will apologize and want to talk out and deal with an issue instead of screaming and pretending everything is fine and never mentioning why there was a fight or argument at all.

When you really don’t remember any good times you spent with them.