Obvious Signs Someone Is Jealous Of You

Gossiping about you to others.

Sometimes everything will seem peachy in your relationship, but then all of a sudden you hear from other friends or people you know that your friend has been talking unfavorably of you when you were not around. They might not even be bashing you directly but giving subtle hints that present you in an unfavorable light. If they always gossip about others in front of you, this can also be a huge red flag that they do the same behind your back.

A fly in the ointment.

When they have something to share, it is always a big deal, and they will expect you to express admiration with their achievements. But if it is you who is excited about something nice, a jealous friend will always find something to pick on. This is another sneaky method that is aimed at undermining your self-worth because that way they can rise in your – and more importantly, their own – eyes.

Ignoring you on social media.

Some people just don’t participate in social media, and we totally understand that. Checking the news feed several times a day, and then actively interacting with others is not everyone’s cup of tea. But according to psychologists, if you notice that your friend gives tons of positive attention to anyone and everyone, is being generous with likes and comments, but pretends that your account doesn’t even exist, it is a good sign of how they feel about things you share on social media (yes, they are very likely jealous).

Nothing you say or do is correct.

Do you feel like your friend always finds fault with your decisions? From making up your mind to find another job to starting to date the guy you met at a party to buying that pair of jeans, it looks like they don’t approve of any of your decisions. Sure, good friends should warn you if they think your decision is about to get you in trouble but if they just flat-out criticize your every step, experts admit this may very well be a sign of jealousy.

Discouraging you from even trying.

Has a friend ever tried to sabotage your every decision by coming up with reasons why you shouldn’t even start something in the first place? Dancing classes? You are too old for this. Want to ask that girl from the math class out? She’ll probably reject you, then you’ll feel humiliated. Enter a creative writing competition? Don’t you know these competitions are always rigged? A good friend will support your decisions and come up with words of encouragement when you doubt yourself. But a jealous friend will always try to prevent you from starting in the first place.

Copycat behavior.

If one of your friends started doing every single thing the way you do it, take a closer look, as this might be a red flag. It’s not about occasionally buying the same outfit as you or having the same music taste. They literally copy your every move, down to the way you laugh or hold a glass. The reason behind this is that they think if they become you, your success will automatically be applied to them. If you start noticing these signs in a friend, think how you can deal with the situation.

Life is “unfair” to them.

If your friend keeps saying that life favors others (including you) but is incredibly unfair to them, this might be a red flag. Blaming your failures on external circumstances is a way to justify your inactivity. Therapists say such people may be secretly (or semi-openly) jealous of you and your achievements. They would ignore the hard work you put into it and claim that you are just extremely lucky. They also often find it unfair that you have all the goodies in life and even say it to your face.

Insecurity leads to jealousy.

Every psychologist worth their salt will tell you that insecure people are more prone to being jealous. When low self-esteem makes you question your own value, you tend to see the achievements of others as a direct attack on you. If you feel your friends envy everything you have or do, chances are they are battling their own insecurities.

Total lack of enthusiasm.

If your friend shares their achievements with you, as a good friend you celebrate it with them. But if a friend is jealous of your success, the last thing they want to do is celebrate. This can be especially well observed in a group. While all your friends congratulate you and tell you how proud they are, a jealous friend will sit quietly with an indifferent expression on their face, and even if they are forced to speak up, the words of support will lack any enthusiasm whatsoever.

Pessimism becomes main MO.

People who are jealous of other people’s success tend to have an overall negative outlook on life. They are always waiting for the worst possible outcome, never believe they will succeed no matter how hard they try, while everybody else gets things basically for free. At the same time, if you have something to celebrate, they will find a reason to sulk and will try to convince you that your success is short-lived.

Refusing to celebrate you.

Every time you have a reason to celebrate and invite your friend to join in, they will come up with an excuse to avoid that. Of course, sometimes life interferes with our plans, and we are not always able to be there for our friends but note how often that happens. If for the most part, your friend is either not there to celebrate with you or is physically present, yet provides little input to the festive mood, therapists define this as a sign of jealousy.

Faking the excitement.

Sometimes your friends actually try to hide their jealousy from you but the power of body language is much stronger. Experienced experts can tell a lot about a person based on their body language but you don’t need to be an expert to understand if your friends are faking their excitement about your achievements. If their smiles don’t look sincere, if they say words of encouragement but their eyes don’t express anything, you probably guessed it already – they are jealous of your success.

Everything is a competition.

And we literally mean everything. Whatever it is that you have or do, they do it more, bigger, better. Some people go to ridiculous extremes, and need to one-up you even in negative things. You fell off a ladder? They fell off the roof. Your boss was unfair to you today? Their boss is unfair to them twice before lunchtime every day. While there is nothing wrong with a bit of friendly competition, experts say that turning your friendship into a neverending Olympics is a sign of toxicity and jealousy.

None of your accomplishments have any value.

Literally nothing you achieve is worth talking about. Whatever it is that you are proud of, according to your friends, everybody and their uncle have already done that, and let’s be honest, much better than you. Psychologists say that this move is directed at diminishing your self-esteem and belief in yourself. Because if you start thinking you are not that good after all, it will give your friend the possibility to position themselves higher than you.

Body language is a great tell.

To elaborate a little more on the previous point, it is always very helpful to observe people’s body language. Avoiding eye contact, crossing their arms, or on the contrary, being too tactile and getting into your personal space to divert your suspicions: these are all signs of something being wrong with the relationship. This person is either hiding something from you or is jealous.

Every compliment turns into a veiled insult.

Generally, people who give backhanded compliments think they are being very clever. They did not insult you directly, so you can’t confront them, yet their praise contained more negative things about you than positive. However psychology experts claim that nothing speaks louder about insecurity and jealousy than a backhanded compliment.

Support is off the table.

It is not only about good times, success, and achievements. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to because you are going through a tough time. And then it turns out your friend is too busy, not in the mood, or even interrupts you in the middle of the sentence with something completely unrelated. Soon you will lose any desire to share your problems with them because they just don’t listen.

Recommendations are not welcome.

When you are unsure what to do in any life situation, who do you go to for advice? That’s right, friends. Someone you trust and someone who has your best interest. Yet, if a friend is jealous of you, they might resent your advice or even get angry at you. They already have negative feelings towards you because you have something or do something better than them, now hearing you share your life experience with them becomes unbearable.

Not letting you celebrate.

It doesn’t matter what you have to share with your friends, they will find a way to direct the attention to themselves, and often it is something awful. As a good friend, you can’t celebrate your success when your friend is in distress, can you? Of course, you will try to comfort your friend, while the joy you had will get swept under the rug. It is interesting how these unfortunate events of theirs always coincide with something good happening in your life. Not only do you feel like a horrible person for bringing up the good stuff in your life but with time you will stop talking about it altogether.

Making it their job to upstage you.

You may try all you want, but you will never achieve their height. They earn more than you, go to more expensive vacation destinations, have a better figure. Oh, someone complimented you? They got three invitations to dinner and one marriage proposal in one night. Psychologists state that this constant need to be better than someone is a sign of low self-esteem. And low self-esteem often leads to jealousy and envy.