"I Started Dreading Our Nightly Facetimes": 30 People Share What Ended Their Relationships

To gain more insight on how we typically realize that our relationships must come to an end, we reached out to therapist and creator of Save the Marriage, Dr. Lee Baucom, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. "For many people, the end of a relationship sneaks up on them. Mostly, because the more disconnected you become, the less you notice the relationship," the expert explained.

"But there is often a proverbial straw that breaks the relationship’s back. There is some point that the disconnection becomes so obvious and so painful, you can’t un-see it," Dr. Baucom continued. "And for many people, that moment is crushing — to their heart, their hopes, and the relationship."

When someone does realize that it's time for their relationship to come to an end, Dr. Baucom recommends taking some time to gather their thoughts before immediately speaking to their partner. "First, many times when people think a relationship needs to end, it is in a moment of pain and hurt," the therapist shared. "That is rarely the best time to talk. It is more reactive than responsive, more emotional than processed. And there are plenty of times that someone has an initial reaction that the relationship needs to end, when they then realize the relationship needs to change — if possible."

"Second, when people don’t take a bit of time to process, they often cause more hurt than is necessary, affecting any future relationship (co-parenting together, for example), and causing more psychological pain than is necessary," Dr. Baucom continued. "Not to mention, it almost always causes an unnecessary amplification of the conflict. You both end up more angry than is necessary."

"Third, for every story where someone 'knew' it was over, there are others where they felt the same, then found a way to a better, healed relationship," the expert added. "Reacting in the moment is never necessary, and sure can create more chaos than is necessary."

When it's clear that the relationship cannot be repaired, however, Dr. Baucom says that speaking to your partner both lovingly and clearly is the key. "Being honest without attacking can go a long way in being clear about your intention," he explained. "But it allows for a parting under more kind feelings. If you have shared love in the past, it is sad to torch that past when the love is no longer there. You can avoid blame, but still be clear of your need to end. There is never a winner in a race to being the bigger victim."

"As is true in pretty much any human encounter, we are always better for treating others as we would want to be treated," Dr. Baucom added. "Not how we were treated, or treating them in a way to make a point. But the way we want to be treated. If we live that out, the most difficult communications find the best path they can."

If you'd like to gain more insight on relationships on your own marriage from the expert, be sure to visit Dr. Baucom's website Save the Marriage.