30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents

We managed to get in touch with the person who sparked the conversation on the platform, Redditor odeus120, who was kind enough to chat about the thread and the reasons it resonated so deeply with the community. They told Bored Panda that the idea to raise this question came after they stumbled upon a YouTube video of an 'Ask Reddit' post on a similar topic. "So naturally, I made a post on the same theme," odeus120 said.

However, the user was surprised to see the thread blow up as much as it did. "I was expecting it to follow the same as most of my posts," the user added. "I was shocked by the responses and so many replies that I have not read them all. I was also shocked because this was the first post of mine to get over 5.7k upvotes and 5.3k comments."

After reading the reactions and opinions shared by fellow community members, the user guessed that this thread resonated with so many people because "there are sadly so many helicopter, redneck, and [bad] parents out there." The user also mentioned that in their opinion, these behaviors mentioned in the list are the results of harmful relationships people had with their own parents, "So naturally, they continue to abuse their own kids."

It’s no secret that poor parenting feels heavy and confusing as it can have a long-term impact on how a child sees themselves and the world. After all, kids have a tendency to soak up everything adults say or do like sponges. Whether parents consistently criticize their little ones, control every aspect of their lives, use guilt to manipulate their children, or are emotionally and physically abusive, they can do a lot of harm to their children’s lives.

Of course, we're not here to vilify all parents. The reality is that moms and dads can make mistakes, whether intentionally or not. But when they constantly pass on the same harmful behaviors to their kids, it can lead to a traumatic childhood.

As stated in an article on Healthline, there’s no such medical term as a "toxic parent". Since every family is different, there’s no clear definition of what behavior patterns clearly define this concept. However, it’s usually used to describe individuals who behave in ways that cause fear, guilt, or obligation in their children. "A toxic parent, however, is more concerned with their own needs than whether what they’re doing is harmful or damaging. They likely won’t apologize or even admit that what they are doing is wrong. And the abuse or neglect tends to be ongoing or progressive."

Psychologist Chivonna Childs, Ph.D., explained to Cleveland Clinic that toxic parents are more self-centered than other-centered. "Any time you think a person is toxic, you look at their behavior. Those traits can belong to our parents as well," she added. "Those are signs of toxic people. Our parents are individuals, they’re people. They just happen to be our parents."

When it comes to harmful parenting patterns and the effects they have on a child, the biggest one is the constant feeling of being trapped. "Whether it’s physical, verbal or emotional abuse, you feel trapped if you’re a child," Dr. Childs says. "It’s not like a child can just get up and leave, to go live on his or her own. You’re left at the mercy of the people who love and take care of us."

Moreover, toxic parenting impacts future relationships. Because parents are children's introduction to the world, Dr. Childs explained kids deem their behaviors to be completely normal until they’re 5 or 6 years old. Unfortunately, once they realize the impact of these actions, the damage has already been done. "These are learned behaviors that we can continue to perpetuate on others as well as our own children," she said. "If you’re raised thinking that toxic behavior is normal, then you’ll think that’s how you’re supposed to behave with your children, too."

"If we don’t understand how to treat people and how to be in reciprocal relationships where there’s a give and take, then it can spread beyond your family, too."

Growing up with toxic parents is a difficult situation to be in. Children may feel neglected or that they can never do anything right, which in turn alters their sense of self-esteem and safety at home. It can even lead to dire consequences for their physical and mental health. If you recognize some of these toxic traits in your parents, thankfully, there are ways to cope with these behaviors.

It's helpful to focus on yourself and find supportive people who can help you move past these negative patterns and make your way forward. In more extreme cases, however, seeking professional help is important as it can guide you to better understand and process your emotions.