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They divorced eight weeks later.
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For the record, I kept the daughter in law, she's a sweetheart.
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The redditor who sparked this discussion online is a single Brazilian guy who turned 30 this year. His relationship status often allows him to observe misalignments or even straight-up disrespect in other couples.
But since he didn't want to prematurely judge other people's relationships, he chose to ask more about it and directed his question to older people. "They must have seen their share of marriages working and not working and would know better than myself," he said, explaining his motivation for starting such a discussion.
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"It was interesting to see a lot of what they mentioned were things I've already caught glimpses of, such as treating each other with contempt and making bad comments about their spouses. Excessive professing of their love on social media also had already come to mind," he shared.
"And of course, with the advantage of their experience, they shared stuff that I don't yet have the time to have witnessed, like bigger weddings resulting in messier divorces and vow renewals as a sign things are ending near. But regardless, the bottom line is that a lot of what was said were things that are easy to spot when you're not from the perspective of someone inside the relationship," he additionally noted.
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When asked if he believes that relationships should always be worth putting in more effort, he wasn't sure about it.
"I honestly wouldn't have an answer for that. What I can say is that it seems like being blind to red flags and trying to make it work even when feeling miserable seems not to be exclusive to any generation. Love being blind is, I guess, a universal and timeless chunk of the human experience," he concluded.
#10
Yep...
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Whereas, licensed therapist and founder of Moving Beyond You, Samantha Saunders, and celebrant, mental health advocate, and relationship expert, Julie Muir, believe that not all relationships are worth saving.
"While effort is essential in healthy relationships, there are situations where it’s better to walk away—especially when the relationship becomes toxic, abusive, or consistently drains your mental health," Saunders says.
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Of course if one person expresses either fear of a spouse or of an affair, that means rocky shores straight ahead.
"If there’s any kind of abuse—physical, emotional, or psychological—that’s a clear “time to go.” No question," agrees Muir.
"Repeated betrayal is another dealbreaker. If trust has been shattered and there’s no genuine effort to rebuild it, you’re trying to build a house on quicksand."
Contempt and disrespect are also some of the biggest signs that a relationship isn't going to last, she says. "Eye-rolling, sarcasm, belittling, or outright dismissive behavior—those are all signs the relationship’s foundation is crumbling. It’s like poison for any partnership and can be incredibly tough to recover from."
Lack of emotional intimacy is another huge one. "If a couple stops sharing their feelings, skips the “How was your day?” conversations, or loses interest in each other’s lives, it’s a red flag. Emotional disconnection is like a slow leak in a tire—it might not seem urgent at first, but it’ll leave you stranded if ignored."
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Additional relationship warning signs that Saunders mentions include a lack of communication, repeated contempt or criticism, and a breakdown of trust. "When both partners feel disconnected or like they’re no longer a team, it’s often a red flag. A persistent lack of effort to resolve conflicts or an unwillingness to meet each other’s emotional needs can also signal deeper problems," she says.
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