#21
I could list them, but I don't think the signs themselves are that important.
Ignoring any specific signs for a second, I think it is important to point out that being treated like s**t and being cheated on go hand-in-hand.
You don't have to bother Nancy Drew-ing out the possible implications of wearing perfume to go to the gym or the reasons behind a sudden string of late work nights.
If you are paying attention to how the relationship feels and how you are being treated, you can remove yourself from the relationship before actually catching your person doing squat thrusts in the neighbor's cucumber patch.
With hindsight, you will see that your partner was pulling away long before you caught them. With hindsight, you will see that your partner created distance and was actively disconnecting from you.
You were just too busy trying to get things back to where you thought they should be to notice that their interests were elsewhere and that the person sitting right in front of you didn't give a s**t anymore.
So, long story short, focus on the sudden disconnection. Focus on the aloofness and their air of not giving a s**t.
Not in the frantic "How do I fix this" kind of way but in the "I don't like how I am being treated and this needs to change" kind of way.
Then bounce if your feelings aren't being addressed.
Cultural pressure might also help people deny the truth. "In today’s society, there’s pressure to maintain a picture-perfect relationship — especially on social media," the relationship expert says. "People may feel shame about being “the one who got cheated on,” and ignore signs to preserve appearances."
Finally, living a busy life can get in the way too. "With the pace of modern life, people are juggling jobs, children, and responsibilities. It’s easy to miss subtle cues when you’re stretched thin," Nia added.
#22
#23
She used to stay up and wait for me before going to bed, then she just stopped and would be passed out. Things in my game room would be slightly moved around and she had her own room so it's not like she needed my computer.
The biggest thing I ignored was that almost every night when I crawled in bed I could swear that my side was already just a little too warm and my pillows a little too messed up for her to have just been moving around.. I thought I was just being paranoid.
Two weeks later I was at work and just had a deep pit in my stomach like everything just clicked in my subconscious, got home and she was on the couch waiting for me and we broke up then and there after 3y because she literally told me i wasnt good enough. The next day I moved out, she went on a vacation with him the next weekend. It was supposed to be our anniversary trip that I thought we'd been planning together, she made me help plan her vacation with her new guy..
#24
But if you want to get better at spotting these red flags, Nia shared some helpful advice. "Developing emotional awareness and healthy relationship habits can help us tune into the truth more effectively. Here are a few key practices: Regular communication check-ins. Normalize talking about feelings, needs, and concerns. Open dialogue builds a stronger foundation and makes it easier to sense when something’s off," the expert says.
Also, know your non-negotiables. "Clarify your values and boundaries early in relationships. This helps you spot when someone crosses a line," Nia added.
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Building self-trust can also help you spot red flags. "The more you practice listening to your gut, the more you can recognize discomfort as a cue to explore further — not something to dismiss."
Remember, actions speak louder than words. "Pay attention to patterns in behavior, not just what someone says," Nia shared. "A person who is inconsistent, evasive, or emotionally unavailable might be showing you a deeper truth."
And don't isolate yourself. "Sometimes others see what we can’t. Stay connected to your support system — close friends and family can offer perspective when you’re too close to the situation," the expert added.
#28
#29
The worst was asking if we were ok. Asking if he was with someone else. And the hand in the lap saying no, none of that.
Asked him to open his phone and he refused.
There was someone else. There had been more than 1.
Edit- forgot the others.
He had started going to the gym morning and night. Started getting rid of his body hair.
Now he was away and came back freshly shaved. I said oh how come you're freely shaved? He said he felt like feeling all clean. Then he said he had to see the Dr about a mole on his back. But before he replied he kinda froze. There is no way he would have seen this mole unless someone was looking closely at his back. I didn't see it so someone else ( yes one affair) was the one who saw it.
#30
Finally, Nia wants to remind readers that being cheated on is never a reflection of your worth. "Cheating is a decision that belongs to the person who betrays, not the one who trusted," she noted. "If you’ve been cheated on, you may feel anger, shame, grief, or confusion. All of that is valid. Give yourself space to process, seek support (from friends, therapy, or coaching), and know that healing is possible. The betrayal may be a painful chapter, but it does not define your story."
"I always encourage people to use these moments as turning points for deeper self-awareness, stronger boundaries, and ultimately — healthier love," the relationship expert shared. "Also, always remember the one thing that is a give away of cheating is secrecy, [such as] hiding their phone and disappearing acts."
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#34
-Sudden changes of schedule on prime date times (Sat night etc.).
-Going the extra mile to "proove" you're doing something innocent.
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#40
Until I caught them making out.
Tldr; too touchy feely.
