Being a stay-at-home mom takes a lot of work and effort, but very often their labor goes unappreciated, as their role isn’t taken seriously. This is also why some husbands take full control of the household finances and expect their wives to grovel for an allowance.
This is exactly what one woman faced for years because her husband insisted on her being a homemaker while he’d be the provider. Once the roles were set, the man made a fuss whenever his wife asked for money, which put her in a tough financial position.
More info: Mumsnet
When one partner takes full control of the household finances, it might put the other person at a disadvantage and even reduce their freedom
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she and her husband had made a pact many years ago that he would be the provider and she would look after the kids
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, the old arrangement was no longer suiting the woman, and she craved financial freedom, as she had always had to ask her husband for money
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, when the couple moved house, the man made her throw away most of her clothes, and he made a fuss when she asked for £150 to buy new ones later
Image credits: Justlivelovelaugheat
The poster felt bad that she had put herself in the position where she had to keep asking her husband for money, and she didn’t know what to do
The OP had never planned on being a stay-at-home mom, but when her husband convinced her that he would grow the business while she managed childcare, she agreed. Even though she had taken on the role of being the housewife, she always craved freedom and financial independence.
Many couples struggle to figure out how to divide family and household responsibilities, so it’s great that these people were able to set that early on. However, experts state that even if partners have set roles of being the provider and the homemaker, they should still step in to support the other person whenever needed.
That is one of the main problems in this situation, because the woman felt stuck in her role as a housewife, as she didn’t have any control over their finances. Her husband managed everything to the extent that he even told her to throw out many of her clothes and refused to give her £150 to buy anything new for herself.
For ages, this has been the norm for many families, where the man of the house manages the money, and the woman might just be given an allowance to manage her expenses. That’s exactly why studies have found that only 33% of women make their own financial decisions, as compared to 64% of men.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster couldn’t take her husband’s behavior anymore and felt stuck because of her lack of financial independence. In a comment, she told netizens that earlier, they had a joint account, but in the last year, he had shifted all the money to his account, which had made things tougher for her.
The husband’s strict control over their money and his reluctance to give the OP how much she needs does seem to signal an imbalance of power in their relationship. Even financial experts state that when one partner repeatedly tries to limit the other person’s access to money, it is a red flag that should not be ignored.
The poster was unsure whether she was asking for too much by presenting her monetary needs to her husband. She worried that she was being selfish by asking for money for clothes when he was so busy with work, but at the same time, she also felt helpless, as she had nothing.
In situations like this, where one partner might be controlling about money, professionals advise secretly saving over time. This gives the victim a little more freedom to make decisions for themselves and get back some of their power and confidence. They also should tell trusted loved ones about their situation and build a good external support system.
What advice do you have for the OP, and what would you do if you were in her position? Let us know your opinion down below.
Folks told the woman to get a job immediately and to start saving up money for herself
