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EDIT: It was a picnic. To welcome back students. All the tables were full, and I had a plate full of food. My options were to pick a random group of people, or try to stand up while eating salad and whatnot, or dump my plate and just go home. In retrospect I should’ve picked option #3 but at the very minimum the people I sat with could have made an effort to be polite.
When the conversation turns to be about shyness, quite often people mistake it for introversion. Yes, being shy and being an introvert isn’t the same thing – mind-blowing, isn’t it? In fact, both concepts are so different that using them interchangeably is wrong.
Introversion is a personality trait a person is born with, which doesn’t change going through life. The opposite of it, as you probably know, is extroversion and sometimes people mention the middle ground – ambiversion.
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super embarrassing at the time, but hilarious to look back on.
edit: for those curious, i said nothing in response. if only i could go back in time.
The main difference between introversion and extroversion is the energy source. The former charge their batteries by being alone with their thoughts, while the latter get it from social interactions. Scientists think that the difference comes from introverts being born more sensitive to external stimuli, so being social wears them out easier than others.
Granted, introversion, extroversion, and ambiversion all exist on a scale. That means that one introvert might be drained by social situations even faster than the other and all things like that. Most people have elements of both sides of a scale, just one of them usually dominates, and being strictly on one side isn’t really realistic.
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I was so caught off guard (and just naturally awkward around strangers period) that the only thing I could blurt out was "If you think I'm cute now you should see me when I've bathed."
He walked away, my friend laughed. I was embarrassed for days.
Then, there’s shyness. It’s described as a sense of awkwardness that some people have in social situations, whether they approach someone or are being approached themselves. Research shows that shyness is a response to fear, which is influenced by parenting and life experiences. So, unlike introversion, and shyness isn’t something people are born with, but rather something they’re conditioned into.
The common thing among introverts and shy people is that they tend to avoid or limit social interactions, especially rather needless ones. The thing is that the cause for this avoidance is the root of their difference. Shy folks do it out of fear, while introverts out of a natural urge to be alone. So, you see it’s not the same thing, as many people think.
#10
They cannot accept your order and take your money... they had about 6 questions they have to ask first. She couldn't stand it.
Her: I'd like a medium coffee
Them:
Do you want light roast or dark roast?
We don't have medium, we have tall, okay?
Do you need space for cream?
What's your name?
Are you part of the (bookstore club)?
Are you part of the Starbucks points?
I'm not sure if I'm remembering it right, but I think at least once she panicked and walked away mid interrogation.
#11
I never corrected my boss when she mixed up my name on the first day. I had already introduced myself to some people by my real name, the other half of people my boss introduced me to, called me another. I felt too shy to correct her in front of the group. It just led to more awkward conversations, as the two names were completely different.
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There’s nothing wrong with being either introverted or shy; both are completely valid things. Still, it can come with quite some challenges.
To understand better what kind of bad experiences shy people go through, take a peek at today’s list. It was curated from stories people shared on the Reddit thread under the question “Hey shy people what is your worst experience?”.
#13
The anxiety dude...
#14
I was a very feminine, underdeveloped and late through puberty 15 year old boy with longer than usual hair.
I stopped answering any teachers questions willingly from that point.
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That said, in the end, somehow, I actually did pretty well with it. I received a lot of compliments and they seemed genuine. So the experience itself wasn't the worst, maybe just the time leading up to it.
Over 12K wrote about their experiences, so we decided to make a list out of the most interesting answers with the intention of shining a light on shy people’s struggles. After all, learning about the internal fights of others can lead to increasing empathy, as you realize that while a person might seem put together on the outside, the storm of fear might be raging inside; you never know.
Do you yourself struggle with shyness? Share your experiences with us and maybe you’ll find other common-minded people to relate to.
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I blacked out. Zero brain function. I mumbled a few inaudible grunts and umms before having no choice but to admit that I couldn't remember. Oh my dog, I wanted to die. The looks of confusion and the awkward century that it took to switch topics amongst themselves still haunts me before bed.
#19
Not the literal worst thing to happen to me, but it is what stopped me from going to chipotle.
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