The birth of a child is called absolute happiness by many women, and holding this tiny creature in your arms after it was a part of your body for around nine months is totally incredible. However, motherhood is also a complicated job, so every new mom needs maximum support - first of all, from her own partner.
This sounds obvious, but however, often causes various problems... The fact is that some men, even after becoming a father, show such an incredible lack of empathy, behave so selfishly and childishly that one can only wonder how. And then come plaintive posts about lost custody battles... however, that's not what we're talking about now. Not about that yet...
This particular story appeared in the AITA Reddit community a few days ago, and has already managed to collect more than 45.3K upvotes and almost 2.6K various comments, and the vast majority of their authors, of course, massively support the author of the post. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is married and she delivered a baby several months ago
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
So, a few months ago, the author of the original post gave birth to a child, after which she encountered a very unpleasant phenomenon, namely indirect comments about her body from her own husband. The Original Poster's hubby turned out to be so entitled that he literally had the audacity to comment on the changes that happened to her body and comment in a negative way.
Image credits: u/SallysSalon111
The author's husband started making hurtful 'observations' regarding her body
No, of course, the man did not allow himself any hurtful words, but still, his so-called 'observations' sounded extremely offensive to the new mom. For example, the husband would see his wife wearing her old top and say "Oh, that top used to look good on you, but not anymore though..." Well, actually a standard set for beginner abusers...
Image credits: u/SallysSalon111
The woman says that this went on for months, but she tolerated this passive aggression until, finally, her husband got to the point that he began to criticize her appearance in front of friends and relatives. And yet, what happened at Christmas totally overwhelmed the author's patience.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
While at their family Christmas party, the spouse even had the audacity to criticize his wife's waist in public
The couple were visiting the husband's parents for a Christmas celebration, and her sister-in-law complimented the beautiful floral maxi dress that the OP wore for this gathering. The author thanked her SIL for the nice words, but at that moment, her husband intervened again with a completely inappropriate remark: "I agree it looks nice on you... though I have to admit that your waist could get smaller than this!"
Image credits: u/SallysSalon111
The woman lost her temper and yelled at her husband straight at the dinner table
There was absolute silence. Relatives were completely discouraged by hearing such words from the OP's spouse. As the woman herself admits, this was the last straw for her, and she, jumping up from her chair right in the midst of the festive dinner, yelled at her husband right in the face with anger: "SHUT THE F**K UP ABOUT MY BODY!"
Image credits: u/SallysSalon111
The man was literally speechless, and some relatives tried to somehow calm the OP down. Needless to say, the party ended right there. After recovering, the husband stormed out of the house, going to one of his buddies, where he spent the whole night. Moreover, after some time, the author of the post received a nasty text from him, where he called her 'childish' and scolded her for allegedly ruining his holiday by throwing a fit in response to the 'observation' he made.
Image credits: Elina Fairytale (not the actual image)
In addition, the man stated that his wife could use therapy for her insecurities instead of 'verbally abusing him and scaring his family'. As a result, as the Original Poster herself admits, she felt herself guilty and decided to find out from folks online what they think about this situation.
The expert thinks the author's husband behaves like a typical abuser
"Of course, the husband here behaved completely rudely and inappropriately, and not only in this particular situation, but in general for all the months that have passed since the birth of their baby," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for comments on this story. "There are clear signs of a typical abuser - in particular, the substitution of concepts and accusations of abuse made against the victim."
“It is possible that the woman had some insecurities associated with her body after the birth of a child. This happens quite often. However, instead of supporting his wife, reassuring her, the husband behaved in a completely outrageous way. I think therapy would certainly not hurt this woman - but therapy regarding confrontation of family bullying," states Irina Matveeva.
Some people in the comments even go further and advise the author to divorce this man who's gaslighting her
Many people in the comments agree with the expert, however, arguing that if the Original Poster really gets therapy, she'd discover that her spouse is an emotionally abusive bully. Commenters strongly recommend that the OP visit a psychoanalyst to regain the self confidence her husband has eroded with his cruel 'observations'. Moreover, some people in the comments are advising the woman to go ahead and divorce the man who's in fact gaslighting her.
According to some of the commenters, it is the husband who makes the woman feel insecure, and his remarks look completely manipulative. As some folks claim, the author really needs a counselor and if she even wants to stay married, then she should seek out marriage counseling as well, as this dynamic with the OP's husband is not OK at all.
In fact, people in relationships can be downright weird at times - like this man, who literally parted ways with his girlfriend after discovering she has breast implants, four months into a relationship with her. If you have also witnessed something similar, please let us know about your own case in the comments. And we'd like to know your own opinion on this particular tale as well.
Exhausted by family or in-law drama like this one? Visit our Family Dynamics Hub for expert-backed guides on toxic relatives, parenting styles, and personal boundaries.