"Today I Messed Up By Going To A Supermarket Chain And Admitting I Shoplifted For 2 Years"

When they got into serious money trouble during their university years, Reddit user Syranog resorted to stealing. And did so for two years at the same supermarket.

Eventually, things worked out, they got a decent job and could move on with life. However, the guilt that compiled during the shoplifting didn't subside and Syranog thought the only way to get rid of it was to pay back what they had taken.

But when the Redditor went to the supermarket to give them the money they had saved, things took an unexpected turn. A reasonable one, but still unexpected.

Many commenters couldn't understand why Syranog felt like they had to admit their crime. But guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions (or inactions) have caused or might cause harm to another person. Because it typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives.

"Guilt is not a nice feeling," F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., who is a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City, said. "We try to avoid it, and when we can’t get away from it we try to get rid of it, sometimes by trying to put blame on others – it's her fault, not mine, we say. I'm really an innocent victim here. Or we look for absolution, forgiveness."

We want to know that we're not bad, or at least not entirely. Like so many painful emotions, guilt is actually important to our well-being, and a part of healthy psychological development. "Freud saw it as a signal that an individual had begun to take responsibility for himself, for his feelings and conflicts, and for difficult decisions he had to make," Barth pointed out. "Carl Jung said that development and growth only occur when we are able to recognize and attempt to rectify our transgressions. And Melanie Klein saw guilt as part of the healthy acceptance of the 'depressive position,' which she believed was a sign that a person could manage a realistic mix of emotional experiences, accepting that she is neither pure and always good nor evil and always bad."

Guilt is a tool for recognizing that we have not lived up to our own values and standards. It's an opportunity to acknowledge and rectify mistakes, and was completely valid in the Redditor's situation. However, it sounds like they didn't think this all the way through.