#1
#2
I was blown away, so ready for an arrest but they all just laughed and slapped eachothers backs. This was when I realized that people with money really do own the town.
#3
It is certainly possible to be friends with someone from a completely different social class, but it is tough. There’s lots of room for envy, resentment, frustration, fakeness, manipulation, and miscommunication.
People tend to compare themselves to others financially. As a result, this affects their feelings of self-worth. You are more likely to feel unhappier if you think that your friends and neighbors earn more than you.
According to research psychologist Peggy Drexler, PhD, there are “ few things that can come between friends as easily as money can.”
#4
Note, his dad built his own business, sold it for $200mm, and left the kid $20mm in a trust fund.
#5
#6
This applies to fancy meals, trips, nights out, you name it. No attitude, never flexed or put me down, just quietly paid for everything to ensure we (and not just me) always had a good time together doing things we all enjoyed.
“Money confers power, and it makes inequalities painfully clear. Some people may try to counteract feelings of envy or insecurity by imagining their "better-off" friends as miserable in some other way. Others may remove themselves from the friendship. But while it can be difficult not to feel resentful over what other people have, and what you don't, it's not impossible,” Drexler writes.
She argues that there are a few ways to be friends with people better off than you. First, you have to focus on clarity and honesty. Set boundaries when you feel pressured to spend money you don’t have.
#7
He'd say, "Hey Kaiser, did you ever rent a plane just to fly down to the Keys?"
Me: "No Bro, I was scrubbing toilets at Denny's.".
#8
The next day he told me, and Ill never forget it:
“My mom said you cant jump on the trampoline anymore because you arent allowed near our house”
Hope that counts as answering the question because it stuck with me 35 years later.
#9
“A true friend will value your company over trying out a trendy new restaurant -- though don't blame her for wanting to try the new restaurant, either. She'll also, most likely, read between the lines. Besides: Outings are about compromise, and any good plan will incorporate input from both parties.”
Drexler also warns that you should not try to keep up with your rich friends. Don’t overspend just to show off. Your friends likely do not expect you to “reciprocate with the same level of extravagance.” So, don’t keep score. Do things within your own means.
#10
another quote that really sticks with people who marry into or work around old money is: "if a problem can be solved with money, it’s not a real problem." it sounds unbelievably obnoxious on the surface, but from their perspective, true tragedy is only stuff like incurable illness or d***h. anything else - a ruined car, a destroyed house, a massive legal mistake - is just an administrative chore that requires transferring funds.
#11
Edit: I had been stung by the same species of Jellyfish and I would rate it about a bee-sting as does the internet.
2nd edit: This was in the United States - This had to be 1000+ *easy* (especially since it was a late night visit)
3rd edit: This family had some goldies with how disconnected from reality rich they were, another
The eldest daughter spontanously moved to Hawaii (bought a house on the water obviously) and moved her kids/husband all with no one working/having jobs... fresh out of dropping out of college but ok *sure*....
"Why are you moving to Hawaii? > I want to go to a place that supports my *diet*"
1-year later:
"Why did you move back? > The locals were mean to us".
#12
One of them spent the summer train hopping… in his boutique clothes designed to look like distressed 1950’s hobo attire. Probably spent a couple thousand dollars on it.
Another bought a van and decked it out to go live in it freely wherever he wanted and commune with nature or whatever… and then presumably abandoned it to move back into his penthouse apartment when school started back up.
Meanwhile, if your friends’ vast wealth makes you feel various negative emotions, you have to be honest with yourself and ask whether they’re the issue or if this is more about you.
Maybe you don’t have serious money issues, but you need to rein in your spending instead. Maybe you should ask for a raise or promotion at work.
Be proactive and focus on what you can change in your life today instead of resenting your friends for having a better life.
“Remember why you're friends in the first place. Don't judge them for what they have - what they wear, the trips they take, the house they live in - but for who they are, and how they treat you. You probably have more in common with your rich friends than you think; you did, after all, become friends in the first place,” Drexler notes.
#13
We thought he might be embarrassed which we understood as we weren't too flash ourselves. He always walked to our neighbourhood via a park that border a lower income area so we assumed he lived over there.
Our friend did not show any signs that he was rich other from when we used to chip in together for a meal, movies, etc without hesitation. I remembered a few times a couple of us would refuse to take his money because we made the assumption that he was poorer than us.
A few years in; a lady appeared at my door upset and told my mother and I that my friend was hit by a car and was in hospital. We quickly went to the hospital and thankfully he recovered. His mother invited us to their house when he returned home and to our surprise he was lived a beautiful home with a massive pool and pool house. He later told us that he didn't want people to treat him differently.
#14
It was more what they *didn't* say that stuck with me, because they never flaunted their wealth. My buddy got married, for instance, and it was a nice affair as weddings go, and I was happy to be invited. But years later I found out that he had a *wild* bachelor party with many of our mutual friends in Vegas and hadn't invited me or even told me it had happened.
I was hurt at first, but when I thought about it, it made sense. He hadn't invited *any* of his poorer friends, all of whom would have had to decline because we couldn't afford a weekend gambling and drinking in Vegas. So by not inviting us and not telling us about it, he saved us from feeling embarrassed or ashamed for being too poor to go.
What was wilder to me was that every one of my friends he had invited had *also* kept quiet about the Vegas trip, for the same reasons, for years. It was when two of them were reminiscing about what a blast that weekend had been all those years ago that I learned about it. I was floored, and hurt, but when I thought it through, I realized it had been a wise decision. Because, again, my friends aren't jerks. They don't flaunt their wealth.
#15
It’s simultaneously extremely condescending, incorrect, and in other cases, also extremely correct.
It definitely applies to the type of folks you know who are so bad with money the more they earn the less they have. I’ve met MANY. Always drinking $8 Starbucks and having nice things but can never get ahead.
After you’ve read through these stories, we want to hear your perspectives and experiences in the comments, Pandas.
Who is the wealthiest person you know, and how has their behavior surprised you?
Have you ever interacted with anyone whom you’d call ultra-wealthy? What were they like?
If you were ever to become rich through hard work or pure luck, what would you do to ensure that your core values remain unchanged? How would you avoid becoming entitled? We can’t wait to hear your take.
#16
#18
Her name may be Henrietta Woodford, but everyone calls her Dolly or Poppy.
I grew up rubbing shoulders with old money people in the most old money part of New England. Most of them just spend all day gossiping or reminiscing about times when they've gossiped. What always gets me is the insane level of enthusiasm they have while talking to you about this petty stuff. Like it's the most exciting thing in the world that they're letting you in on.
Also, none of them call their houses by address, it's always the Watermelin or The Mount.
#19
#20
Proceeded to buy all the houses around the lake.
