#1

#2

I’m adopted, and my adoption happened “behind closed doors” back in the 80’s. There was no letter from my birth parents, pictures, or even a name. When I was 12, I started to get really curious what my background was (after doing a school assignment of making a pie chart of my ethnicity…and making it all up!), and always wanted to see a picture of my birth parents. I was not seeking a relationship with them or to meet them - only to know a little bit more and to have a picture in my mind.
My parents knew the doctor who arranged the adoption, so I wrote him a letter to find out whatever he knew or remembered. While he remembered some details, he didn’t know much and it didn’t satisfy my curiosity. However this was when the internet was in its infancy, so I just let sleeping dogs lie and moved on.
Fast forward 20 years later, 23andMe came out and I was first in line to do a DNA test to learn what my ethnicity was. As suspected, it came back and I learned I had mostly southern-Italian blood. I thought this was cool to know, closed the app, and never thought twice about it. But then, the real shock…
A few years later, I’m sitting around a table with a bunch of friends and one of them says “has anyone ever done 23andMe before? It’s so cool - you can see other relatives who have also taken the test!”. I never thought to use it for this info, so being curious I reopened the app for the first time in years and clicked the “relatives” section. Sure enough, I had a close cousin who was available to message.
I messaged her, and she was very confused. Based on what I said, and on my name (which doesn’t reflect my birth parents name), she essentially didn’t believe we were related. I convinced her to have a phone call, and on the call it all made sense to her - my birth mother kept her pregnancy with me a secret from the family. No one knew, and so when I told her what I knew about my birth mother, she realized that we were in fact related but no one knew my birth mother ever had another kid - me!
Long story short (I could go on forever, my birth and adoption were nothing short of a series of miracles) - my birth mother died when I was very young in an accident, however I learned her name for the first time. I resisted googling it, and slept on it. The next day, I’m sitting at work…I type her name into Google and hit images…and despite there being a ton of people that a popped up, I knew right away which one was my birth mother. She looked so much like me, and finally after 35 years of having a made up image in my head…I saw her. Such a surreal and amazing feeling!
#3

She got the results back, found out her dad was most likely of western European descent, and, oh yeah, that she had 3 half-siblings. This was far beyond what she ever thought she would find. These must be the kids from her father's marriage! She sent them all messages hoping to meet this other family, and maybe even her bio dad.
Except none of them knew him either. Turns out they were all the product of the same sperm donor, and two of them had no idea until my friend had reached out to them that they weren't the biological children of both of their parents. Oops. There was, of course, some family drama left and right. When the dust cleared though, they all decided to band together and find their real dad.
And they did! Turns out in the ‘80s he had been a poor college kid making a little extra money donating to a sperm bank, and he still lived in the same area. Not only did they all meet him, but now he's dating one of their moms, who, again, is the mother of one of his children, though they didn't meet until over 30 years after the fact. Life is crazy.
To gain more insight into this topic, we got in touch with DNA testing author and speaker Richard Hill. DNA testing holds a special place in Richard's heart, as he runs the DNA Favorites website and has written multiple books on the subject.
We reached out to the expert via email, and he was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about what kinds of things people often learn through DNA testing.
"You get a list of other test takers who share significant amounts of DNA passed down from common ancestors. Genealogists combine this information with paper records to confirm and extend their family trees," Richard explained. "You also receive an estimated breakdown of your ethnic ancestry."
#4

My surprise was when my wife and I did DNA testing on ourselves and our children. Our family situation is rather interesting as it is in several senses blended (see below). I happen to be Metis (mixed Oglala Lakota Indian and White, with Tribal Recognition, at just over 60% Lakota) and my wife is White (German and Italian, with no known Indian heritage).
My wife and I are both 3rd Generation Alaska-born due to Bechtel Construction Company work there in the late 19th/early 20th century, and now live in TN. My wife was married and widowed with a sole posthumous son before I married her and adopted her son. The surprise was that my son's genetic profile showed results typical for someone with just a little over 25% American Indian ancestry, with about half of the same Indian marker genes as I have.
My son also has a few Inuit and Yupik genetic markers (to most Americans, this translates as “Eskimo,” not unreasonable), probably several generations ago via my son’s biological father. My wife's late first husband/my son’s biological father didn't have very much close family, but they were longtime Alaskans (even more so than us), with my son also having Nordic and Slavic marker genes; not unusual for someone whose bio-dad had a Russian surname and presumed ethnic Russian ancestry.
This was a real head-scratcher. We had a birth certificate for my wife's deceased first husband. The complete birth certificate, for him had his race listed as "white" which was puzzling. We obtained birth certificates for my wife's first husband's parents. This was done because DNA evidence was not admissible in this case.
My son’s biological father and biological paternal grandfather were listed as White (most likely, "could pass for White") and then came the big reveal; my son’s biological paternal grandmother was a full-blooded Oglala Lakota Indian from the same area of rural Alaska that my family settled via the Bechtel Construction Company.
I contacted the folks at my Tribe's central registry regarding records of my son's birth family-paternal grandmother, and met with some initial resistance that required use of family connections to circumvent.
It turns out that my son's birth family-paternal grandmother was a pureblood (100% Lakota) as recorded by the Tribal register and had also been cast out of the Tribe. She was the "black sheep" of the family for a number of reasons, and I found out that my adopted son and I are also related by blood (I am his grandmother’s third cousin, two generations removed).
#5

Fast forward six weeks after my results came in and I get an alert from Ancestry, I have a match. I open up the email and the first line is something like - “John Smith (not real name) is your father”. I was ready to acknowledge that I was not biologically my father’s but, for some reason, it startled me that I would find my actual biological father. I didn’t contact him. I was in my forties at the time and I imagine when he donated sperm that many years ago anonymously, it never occurred to him I’d show up.
That being said, a couple weeks later, he contacted me. After a few back and forth messages, it turns out he was a sperm donor, a retired OB/Gyn (not my mother’s for the record) and was indeed my biological father. On top of that, I have three other half sisters, the youngest of which is three months older than I am. He likes to brag/joke that he had two women knocked up at once. Of course, there may be more of us out there.
I’ve met the family multiple times. They’re a very nice group of people and my biological father calls me his fourth daughter. I look a lot like my sisters. At 5′9″, I’m actually the shortest sister. My bio dad at his tallest was around 6′5″, I think.
As crazy as all of this sounds, it didn’t really cause any identity crisis. I was in my 40’s. I knew who I was at that point and who my “real” father was, the one who had raised me. On top of that, I had fertility issues myself (just age related) and had used donor egg and sperm for my daughter. I discovered all of this after my child was born. It would never occur to me that my daughter wasn’t my “real” daughter. I gave birth to that girl and raised her and I’ve been honest with her about all of it, in an age appropriate way, of course. My mother died when I was eight so my Egyptian father was a single parent raising two girls. I still feel half Egyptian. As far as I’m concerned, I just have more nice people in my life.
#6

He, 70 years old, single, found out that he had a child. The mother was a high school girlfriend whom he impregnated and he never knew about the pregnancy or that she had given a child up for adoption.
He met his daughter 50 years later when she did a DNA test as had my friend’s brother. So she found her uncle that way and soon after her biological father.
My single friend became a great-grandfather overnight and is delighted to have this new family in his life. They are lovely.
Richard also has a fascinating DNA test story of his own. "I was the first adoptee to identify biological family through one of these tests. I shared the story of my decades-long search in my book Finding Family: My Search for Roots and the Secrets in My DNA," he shared.
"In most states, adoptees are denied access to their original birth certificates. Now, thousands of adoptees are using DNA as a powerful workaround to identify and reunite with their first families," the author explained.
#7

Yes, she is my 58 year old daughter. We connected and talked. I gave her life but couldn’t raise her. Good thing, in hindsight. Her life would have been hell. She has now withdrawn, which is her understandable choice. I let her know I am here for her when she is ready.
#8

My wife and I met in high school in the early 1960’s. Both of us are white, and at that time we both knew that we were at least 3rd generation Americans but we had no idea who our ancestors before our grandparents were. When I retired several years ago, I decided to do some genealogical research for both of us. I’m not a serious researcher, but I was able to trace each of our ancestries back to our great-great grandparents, and in some lines back to two or four generations prior to them.
In 2020, I decided to submit a DNA sample just to find out if there were any surprises. There weren’t any - my research was pretty much spot on. Same for my wife, with one very surprising exception: her DNA showed a trace of DNA from Senegal, a country in western Africa. My wife had ancestors who lived in Maryland, which was a slave state. I think that her African ancestor was a female slave sometime between 1780 and 1820.
I told my granddaughter (age 14 at the time) about this and she wanted to see the DNA test results and asked me to print them. I later found out that she took the printout to school and showed it to all of her friends.
When I was her age (around 1960) if a white person found out that they had an African ancestor, they would keep that a closely guarded secret. For my granddaughter’s cohort, it’s a status symbol. We are so much a better country today than we were then.
#9

People can make a wide variety of discovers from DNA tests. "Many other people are discovering that the man who raised them is not their biological father. Children of sperm donors are discovering half-siblings, sometimes dozens or, in rare cases, hundreds," Richard noted. "People separated as children are finding each other. Those who trace their ancestry to certain countries, e.g., Ireland, can obtain dual citizenship."
#10

One of my friends is from a family of short(er) people.
He stands 7’2”. His parents were 5’3 & >5ft and his sister is 5’5”. He heard all the jokes about “mailman, milkman, etc
One year for Christmas his year younger sister got one of the ancestor DNA kits and they both did whatever you do with those.
Their parents had passed away several years earlier. The results came back and his sister and he have absolutely NO common factors in their DNA (completely different).
They asked around their other family members and an old cousin told them. “Oh Yes, your parents adopted both of you when you were just babies.”
In over 30 years, nobody ever told either one of them that vital bit of info.
Now both of them are searching for where they actually came from.
#11

Fast forward to a few years ago. We all did an Ancestry DNA test to see if we could find any relatives from my maternal grandmother’s side. She was a refugee from Germany, came to the US with an American family for safety during Hitler’s reign of terror. She never reconnected with any of her family again. A cousin and I had gone to Germany to research - the village that she grew up in had been completely annihilated during the war. We met with the Red Cross there, and many other officials. Nothing could be found as to what had happened to them. We know they existed, she had brought many pictures of her with her family from the time she was a baby, up to her teen years, holiday gatherings, birthdays, etc. So we were hoping to find someone, anyone that remained of her family.
A few months went by and my Mom got a notification that a close match had been found, a child or grandchild, and I got one that said niece or cousin. We were certain this was a mistake because we could account for every single person in our family.
To make a long story shorter, my brother’s girlfriend moved back to the east coast after he died. None of us thought nothing of it. She was grieving and wanted to be close to her Mom. But apparently, after a couple of months, she found that she was pregnant. (This was the very early 1980’s, OTC pregnancy tests were not a thing at that time.) By the time pregnancy was confirmed at three months (she apparently thought missed cycles were due to stress), she had lost all contact with our family on the west coast. This was also before cell phones. Also, she has been seeing another guy while she and my brother were dating. Anyway, we were able to get in touch with this mystery relative via Ancestry. When we met in person, I almost fainted - she was a female replica of my long dead brother, and she had two kids of her own, with the youngest looking like my brother’s twin. My Mom got her wish after all, a child of the child she lost. But we never did find any of my Grandma’s family.
#12

Imagine, when blood tests confirmed later in my life, after my parent’s deaths, that I had 2 forms of Hemophilia and other severe genetic anomalies only carried by Hebrews! Imagine, that these heavily genetically coded, very SPECIFIC subtypes are only carried by specific races from specific areas of countries.
Imagine the shock of physicians, remaining family members, and friends when they saw the DNA results! HEBREW-RUSSIAN, 82%, with only a small amount of High Royal British/Scottish Highlands!
Priceless.
We also asked Richard if he would recommend that everyone take a DNA test at some point. "Knowing where you came from (both people and places) is enlightening and satisfying. Discovering new family members can be exciting," he shared. "For single people, it’s good to know that the person you might marry is not closely related due to some unknown connection. For most people, ethnicity reports demonstrate that we are a melting pot of many cultures and have much in common with others."
"Everyone can learn something new about themselves and their family. Just remember that surprises are possible, and be prepared for unexpected results," the author added.
#13

My birth mother was, and still is, a horrible, horrible woman who finding herself pregnant in 1966, told another man I was his child, she abdicated her motherhood, and left me (and later another little girl) to be raised by this much older man and his elderly mother (who believed I was her grand daughter). I'll gloss over my childhood, but I was told my entire life that my nose was ugly and something to be embarrassed about, by the same elderly lady who I called Nana. Nana loved me, but she had outdated Victorian ideas about so-called beauty standards. She and other adults in my life found a lot of fault with my appearance in general, but I chose not to change it later as an adult. It was mine and part of me. Three years ago, it was my nose that helped convince me that the DNA tests were indeed correct. My “shameful” nose is a typical Persian Jewish nose, identical to my real father's - I am the female image of my birth father down to every detail. The nose, that nose is actually “the family nose”. I finally have my peace and am proud of how I look. No longer “shameful”. (Edited for clarity)
Photos of me in my early 20s, in the late 1980s with That Nose. The 3rd one is me now in my late 50s…
#14

#15

The story ended up being that my Mum’s father was unable to have children whilst her mother really wanted one, so the father of this other lady was allowed to produce a child with my Nan, that child being my mother. Apparently, the other family was aware of what had happened but kept it under wraps until my Mum was 79 years old when her half-sister decided to talk to Mum and see if she was a nice person. Having decided she was, she opened up to her regarding the situation.
Richard also says it's wise to do your research before taking a DNA test, but he's here to help.
"Each DNA database is separate and you will only see matches with people who took the same test. Since certain tests will accept free data transfers from others, you can now get into all the major databases at little cost," he noted. "On the other hand, some tests are a waste of money. Anyone interested in DNA testing should visit my website to review all the major tests and get links to useful resources."
#16

Jake indeed showed up in the DNA results as my half-brother. I told him that, despite the genetic proof, he was not, in fact, my half brother. I explained that my father’s identical twin was named Henry and had lived next door to Jake while my father lived in a different state.
I warmly welcomed this man into my family. His wish was to know Henry’s children, my first cousins. I contacted the first cousin who I am closer with. My cousin denied everything and swore me to secrecy. I suggested it could have been my father and, anyway, this is a human who had no responsibility for his conception.
My cousin still refuses to meet Jake but came up with a theory that Henry had not cheated on their mom but rather could have worked for a doctor as a sperm donor (at the age of 55) when Jake was conceived.
As our fathers are both deceased I just said “I guess we will never know.”
In the mean time, my cousin's child took a DNA test and matched to Jake. It's hard to keep a secret these days and a human being is not a secret and has the right to know their roots.
UPDATE: My cousin's child contacted Jake and found out that Jake is part of our family. Looks like this secret is about to come out. If you have a DNA family secret please figure out how you want to frame it and tell you family before the truth comes out another way. Because it will.
#17

I’m quite pale, and my parents’ people were bigots from The Deep South as far back as we know. You can connect those dots.
#18

DNA testing turned up some cousins several states away who are Black (we’re White). One cousin reached out to Dad trying to trace one of her male lines, which had the further complication of roots in slavery. This gave Dad a new lead and a mystery to solve. The cousin’s family lore said they were from Virginia, which is where my Dad is from. They theorized the link had to be one of our slaveholding ancestors but not quite sure which one.
A couple of years go by and Dad sees a new connection on Ancestry, this time White and from an unfamiliar family. Turns out the cousin Dad had corresponded with had these new connections as well.
Long story short, he was finally able to fully trace his father’s line. The illegitimate grandfather was fathered by a wealthy slaveowner who had also fathered children by at least one of his female slaves. The man also had a legitimate line as well. Bastard got around.
It has given Dad a new avenue to pursue and helped our cousins fill in some blanks in their line. Sad to think what both of these women went through in their lives.
#19

A few years ago, my mother-in-law told me about a project from National Geographic called the Genographic Project. This was much different than other DNA programs, such as Ancestry (dot) com. This was more of a project that explored migration and other factors. It wasn’t to see if you were related to another person.
Anyhow, after some encouragement, I got a kit and submitted my DNA. When I received the response, it showed how my lineage migrated and moved around for a millennia. One thing that shocked me was I came back as being 39% Native American. In the grand scheme of things, this is a relatively high percentage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t break down tribal affiliation and the results cannot be used to enroll in a tribe. For me, it was a bit more personal. Having been separated from my family at an early age, it confirmed some of the family legend and, for some reason, I felt a little “connected” for lack of a better term.
This isn’t and entertaining or interesting fact for others, but it wasn’t what I expected.
#20



