Viral Tweet Starts A Discussion On Whether Splitting Bills Evenly Is Unfair

One practicality that couples need to talk through, preferably before getting married, is what their monetary policy will be going forward. After all, arguments about money can take a huge toll on a relationship.

How to split expenses is usually the first question in this discussion. There are plenty of different ways to do it and no single solution works for all, but according to creative consultant Keshav Kant, the primary principle remains the same: the division of financial responsibility in a relationship should be equitable, not equal.

Recently, Kant turned to Twitter to explain what she means by that and her thoughts instantly struck a chord with other users. As of this article, Kant's tweet has nearly 100K likes. Plus, people are expanding on it, providing their own thoughts and experiences, and making the argument even stronger.

Kant said her tweet was inspired by another story she had read online. "There was a Reddit thread created by someone who was wealthy and in a relationship with someone who wasn't. They all went on a vacation with their family (who are also wealthy), and during the vacation, the original poster's partner didn’t go out as much, skipped meals, etc. because she couldn’t afford to pay as much," Kant told Bored Panda.

"After the vacation was over they had a fight about money, he claimed she should've never gone if she couldn’t afford it because their relationship was 50:50. That inspired [my original] tweet, because that kind of division of money isn’t realistic," she explained. "He’s a man, and statistically likely to make more than the women in his life. He’s also from a wealthy family, and has generational wealth, whereas she doesn’t. So he (and other people who are more financially secure than their partners) should pay equitably."

According to Kant, most people on Twitter agreed and said that's how it should be, but some claimed that it should only be 50-50. "The majority of the negative replies came from men claiming that this is just women trying to take advantage of them. Which is ridiculous because my statement applies to anyone who’s the wealthier person in a relationship, regardless of their gender."

Money can make or break people's lives, Kant said, and a relationship without clear financial expectations can create a lot of stress and hostility. "If you’re planning to stay together long term, you need to have a good understanding of what your combined financial state and needs are so you can build a solid life together," she explained.

Kant wants people to understand that her statement doesn’t exist in a vacuum. "Money is never just a neutral thing and there are a million things to consider when you are in a relationship," she said. "Financial agreements like the one I talked about in my tweet are ever-evolving. They should be regularly updated and changed as needed so that everyone involved feels satisfied with their part in the financial responsibilities. Outside of shared finances, couples should always work out how to save money independently, because sometimes relationships end and that’s okay. It’s just a matter of planning and preparedness."

Experts at the National Bank of Canada agree. The 50/50 split works when both people are making more or less the same. But if there is a significant salary gap between them, the distribution of expenses is more balanced if each contributes proportionally to their income.

The equation is really simple too: all you have to do is calculate what percentage of total household income is earned by each person and then apply this percentage to the total monthly budget.

Let's take this hypothetical situation as an example: one of the spouses earns $75,000 per year and the other $25,000. The monthly household budget is $5,000. How do they allocate the expenses? The spouse who earns $75,000 transfers $3,750 to the joint account (or 75% of $5,000) and the other transfers the remaining $1,250 (25% of $5,000). Thus, each partner is contributing to shared expenses in relation to their financial capacity.

48% of Americans who are married or living with a partner say they argue with the person over money, according to a survey by The Cashlorette. Most of those fights are about spending habits: 60% said that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap.

These conflicts can have serious consequences. In many cases, they are the number one predictor of whether or not you’ll end up divorced, according to a study of more than 4,500 couples.

"Financial disagreements did predict divorce more strongly than other common problem areas like disagreements over household tasks or spending time together," the authors concluded. Better to sort these things out!