Fie! Cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb, thee distemperate daw! And plenty more of that, but in human language, is sure to come if you keep on reading (or just scrolling) our list of Shakespearean insults. Is there any better way to insult someone if not using the words by the one and only, the OG pun master, Willy S.? Not in our book, nuh-uh.
So, anyway, you might’ve heard of Shakespeare and his absolutely time-defying specimens of writing like Romeo and Juliet, Othello, or Hamlet. But have you ever stopped to think that William, besides being a legit word ninja, was also the person to come up with stuff like puns, yo mama jokes (yeah, really!), and unique insults that are so original and sophisticated that by using them, you’ll not only say your piece, but truly leave your opponent dumbfounded and feeling like a measly earthworm compared to the piece that just came out of your mouth? And if the last sentence already seemed like a mouthful due to missing dots and semicolons to break up the thoughts, then just hang on for a minute until you actually start reading these insults by Shakespeare.
Now, grab a quill and a piece of parchment because you’ll definitely want to write some of these awesome Shakespearean insults down, if not memorize them by heart. Although all of these swear words and sayings are a blast to read, some of them might just reverberate your heartstrings more; in that case, give them your vote! And lastly, share the absolute best insults by Shakespeare with anyone who’s into cursing like a real snob.
#61
“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.” - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).
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#62
"Thou art the cap of all the fools." - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).
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#63
“I am pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.” - "Hamlet" (Act 2, Scene 2).
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#64
“My wife’s a hobby horse!” - "The Winter’s Tale" (Act 2, Scene 1).
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#65
“That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).
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#66

“Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4 ).
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#67
"A rare parrot-teacher!" - "Much Ado About Nothing" (Act 1, Scene 1).
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#68
"O you beast! I’ll so maul you and your toasting-iron, That you shall think the devil is come from hell." - "King John" (Act 4, Scene 3).
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#69
“A foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man!” - "Hamlet."
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#70

"Thou foul defacer of God's handiwork." - "Richard III."
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#71
“Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract.” - "The Tempest" (Act 2, Scene 2).
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#72
“Thine face is not worth sunburning.” - "Henry V" (Act 5, Scene 2).
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#73
“Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!” - "King Lear" (Act 2, Scene 2 ).
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#74
“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” - "Henry IV Part 2" (Act 2, Scene 1).
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#75

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell” - "Othello" (Act 4, Scene 2).
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#76
"A fool, an empty purse. There was no money in’t." - "Cymbeline" (Act 4, Scene 2).
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#77
“Thou crusty batch of nature!” - "Troilus and Cressida."
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#78
“You starveling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock-fish!” - "Henry IV Part 1."
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#79
“Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).
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#80

“I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 3).
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