Fie! Cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb, thee distemperate daw! And plenty more of that, but in human language, is sure to come if you keep on reading (or just scrolling) our list of Shakespearean insults. Is there any better way to insult someone if not using the words by the one and only, the OG pun master, Willy S.? Not in our book, nuh-uh.
So, anyway, you might’ve heard of Shakespeare and his absolutely time-defying specimens of writing like Romeo and Juliet, Othello, or Hamlet. But have you ever stopped to think that William, besides being a legit word ninja, was also the person to come up with stuff like puns, yo mama jokes (yeah, really!), and unique insults that are so original and sophisticated that by using them, you’ll not only say your piece, but truly leave your opponent dumbfounded and feeling like a measly earthworm compared to the piece that just came out of your mouth? And if the last sentence already seemed like a mouthful due to missing dots and semicolons to break up the thoughts, then just hang on for a minute until you actually start reading these insults by Shakespeare.
Now, grab a quill and a piece of parchment because you’ll definitely want to write some of these awesome Shakespearean insults down, if not memorize them by heart. Although all of these swear words and sayings are a blast to read, some of them might just reverberate your heartstrings more; in that case, give them your vote! And lastly, share the absolute best insults by Shakespeare with anyone who’s into cursing like a real snob.
#1
"He has not so much brain as ear-wax." - "Troilus and Cressida" (Act 5, Scene 1).
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#2
"I do desire that we may be better strangers." - "As You Like It" (Act 3, Scene 2).
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#3
“Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.” - "Henry V" (Act 4, Scene 4).
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#4
“You have such a February face, So full of frost, of storm, and cloudiness.” - "Much Ado About Nothing" (Act 5, Scene 4).
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#5
"They have a plentiful lack of wit." - "Hamlet" (Act 2, Scene 2).
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#6
“What, you egg?” - "Macbeth" (Act 4, Scene 2).
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#7
“Away, you three-inch fool! “ - "The Taming of the Shrew" (Act 4, Scene 1).
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#8
“Villain, I have done thy mother” - "Titus Andronicus" (Act 4, Scene 2).
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#9
“I’d beat thee, but I should infect my hands.” - "Timon of Athens."
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#10
“Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” - "As You Like It" (Act 2, Scene 7).
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#11
“No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her.” - "The Comedy of Errors" (Act 3, Scene 2).
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#12
"I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee something." - "Timon of Athens" (Act 4, Scene 4).
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#13
“Men from children nothing differ.” - "Much Ado About Nothing."
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#14
“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!” - "Henry IV Part 1" (Act 2, Scene 4).
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#15
"Thou slander of thy heavy mother's womb!" - "Richard III."
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#16
"That kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake." - "Titus Andronicus."
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#17
“Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.” - "Richard III" (Act 1, Scene 2).
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#18
“You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” - "Henry IV Part 2" (Act 1, Scene 2).
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#19
"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt." - "Two Gentlemen of Verona" (Act 2, Scene 4).
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#20
"Away, you mouldy rogue, away!" - "Henry IV, Part 2" (Act 2, Scene 4).
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