When you go on a date at a fancy restaurant, cozy cafe, or, heck, even your local fast food joint, you can easily forget that there’s always someone around in the background—your server. Now, odds are that most people working in the food service industry don’t eavesdrop on purpose. However, when a date goes frightfully wrong, they can’t help but notice what’s going on at one of their tables.
We’re featuring some of the stories about the most awkward and weird date fails, as witnessed by servers and shared on these two r/AskReddit threads here and here. Scroll down for some of the most cringe, dramatic, and weird romantic encounters that waiters couldn’t look away from even if they wanted to.
However, one note of friendly advice for you, Pandas: the stories here might give you some a case of some serious secondhand embarrassment.
Bored Panda was interested to learn more about dating, whether restaurant dates are a good idea, and what to do if you see that you’re not clicking with someone, so we reached out to certified relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot. Scroll down for our full interview with her, Pandas.
#1
Tl;Dr- wife in disguise busts cheating husband and sets him up for prison
Former bartender- A couple is having a flirty date at a table close to my bar. Two drink rounds in, (Him- mojitos, her- mango cosmos) and they are having a great time. Laughs, kisses, crazy flirting.
Lady comes in and sits at the bar, she seems off. She stares at the bar menu for a good 5-10. The menu is upside down. I figure out she is watching the couple behind her through the bar mirror. So I go over to greet her.
As soon as I get close, I see she is wearing a wig. A bad one. She takes her sunglasses down and I see she has been crying. Now I'm intrigued. She's not getting a drink until I get her story.
Turns out the couple behind her is her husband and his mistress. For the next hour I have to give her a play by play of her husband's date, so awkward. She is devastated but keeps wanting details.
Then she hands me 40$ and wants me to buy them a round. Wth? 22$ tip for me so ok, I send the drinks to the table with my compliments, they wave thanks. Later on she does it again, asks me to send a round. I did it, knowing the couple would be drunk at this point.
The couple finishes up and leaves. They even stop by the bar on the way out and he shakes my hand, says thank you. Right next to his wife sitting there! They leave.
Then I see the wife's plan unfold, it was epic.
She pulls out her phone, calls 911 and reports a drunk driver. She gives his car description and license plate number and says he is on the road she knew he would take home.
Brutal, but deserved. It would be his 4th dui so, prison time.
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290points
Relationship coach Alex opened up to Bored Panda that she personally isn’t a fan of “the stereotypical coffee or restaurant date” because many people feel a lot of pressure “to keep the conversation going with fewer things around to remark about.” In short, going to a cafe or restaurant might not be ideal for a first date.
“If you’re the extroverted type, these kinds of dates are easier for you to show up and be you, but for introverts or anyone who has social anxiety, this can be a triggering environment. I personally feel it's a smarter move to go on some kind of activity date,” she said.
#2
I was serving a guy who was obviously being stood up, he had reserved in advanced and came in about 10 minutes early, he seems pretty calm but is constantly checking his watch and phone. After about 30 minutes he orders a large pizza, another 20 minutes pass and his pizza arrives and is placed in front of him, at this point I'm feeling really bad but have no idea what to do. He leaves the pizza untouched for about 15 minutes before finally having a couple slices, probably an hour and a half after he originally arrived he decides to leave, he's about to pack up his pizza when one of the other servers decides to take her break and chooses to sit with him.
I quit working there a couple months later but as far as I know they're still dating.
255points
#3
This one is sad. I was managing at the time and had a lady in her mid forties can me I’m dressed pretty nicely. She was not an ugly woman by any means but she wasn’t overly attractive either. She was super excited to be going on a blind date and showed up early. She sat and had a glass of wine and chatted up my bartenders servers and myself. We all really liked this woman. Super sweet and friendly and seemed to really be trying to have a nice time. Then her date shows up... he comes in about a half hour late and is talking in the phone. Sits next to the woman and continues talking. Finally he gets off the phone and goes over to the bar to get a drink (which is also strange since my server would’ve done that for him) proceeds to order a drink from the bar, drinks it, orders another drink then sits down. The woman tries to have a conversation with him but he’s constantly looking around the room like he was seeing if there was anything better for him to be doing. Finally when my waitress takes their order he asks for his food to go. His food comes out he grabs it and gets up and leaves. He tries to say something to me about how the woman was not attractive and he had to get out of there. He did it in a way that he tried to get me to agree with him and I just eye rolled him and walked away. He woman started crying and my entire female staff is over at the table trying to talk to her. I was going to basically let her hang out there all night and get whatever she wanted on the house but she was too upset and left shortly after. That guy was such a douche and she was such a sweetheart. It really angered me how he treated her
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163points
Some examples of activity dates include mini-golf, wine tasting, going to a concert, or even axe throwing. “Having an activity to do gives you an opportunity to see how this person interacts with others, how they act when something doesn't go their way, if they have the ability to laugh at themselves, and if they’re encouraging and supportive,” Alex said why this is better.
Bored Panda wanted to know what someone should do if they see that the date isn’t going well at all and if there’s really no chemistry there, at all. In relationship coach Alex’s opinion, honesty is always the best policy and we ought to be upfront about these feelings. It’s the decent thing to do.
#4
Ok, walk into work at 5p.m. the only people in the bar were a couple on a date. A fellow bartender walks out of the restroom shaking his head in disbelief and shock. He immediately starts pointing to the guy and told me what happened. I walk into the men's restroom and before my precious eyes lays a Havana omelet (feces) on the floor and s**t smeared all over the restroom wall like a f***ing mosaic. I'm so livid and dry heaving at this point that a waitress asked if she could say something to the gentleman. I said sure, and she walked up to the table and asked the guy if he s**t himself and if he needs a doctor. The woman on the date then turns around to look at the waitress in complete confusion and asked what the waitress said. The waitress then replied "he knows what I'm talking about, he shat all over the mens." The woman on the date shoved her plate and drink into the guys lap and said " Really Vince? Again!?" He ran out so fast before we could make him clean it.
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134points
#5
I was not a server but a kitchen manager and head cook who was called to a table one night. It was one of those "we want to meet the chef" things. I put on a new chef coat and go out to the farthest reaches of the dining room to where earlier in the night we all noticed that the people there had asked to have the lights turned down. As I'm going there one of my server friends says quietly "buckle up for that." I get to the table and greet a very well dressed college kid, probably no older than 20, who is not drinking or eating and is sweating profusely while sitting straight up in his seat like a mannequin. Then I look at his date. She was probably in her 50's or 60's, painfully thin, tan sagging skin, too much neon pink lipstick circling busted up yellow-gray teeth, she's got an empty bottle of wine in front of her and a ton of hoop bracelets. She's grinning at the guy and in a split second I could tell she was using her feet to rub the guy's crotch under the table. I exchanged some pleasantries with them for a minute and the guy asks if he can see the kitchen real quick because he used to work at the same restaurant but in a different city. I say sure, we'll be right back, etc., and as soon as we're out of earshot he says that his friends had set him up on a blind date and that woman is obviously a prostitute. He was f**king terrified, like hostage situation terrified, so I told him I'll let him out the back door through the kitchen. I haven't seen anyone power walk to their car like that in my life and with that, he fled. Funny thing was that the lady he was with paid for both of their meals and left a large tip.
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126points
#6
A guy made a reservation saying he was going to propose. He asked for a special table and for dessert to come with a sparkler candle and, "will you marry me?" written on it. I bring out the cake, the manager follows me with two glasses of champagne, my co-workers are cheering. We set everything down and walk away. They end up having a serious, quiet discussion and it is very obvious that she is rejecting the proposal. Then three of their friends show up and sit at the table, all excited thinking their friends just got engaged. But it quickly became apparent to them that it was not the case. It's very quiet and awkward at the table. The woman who was being proposed to left, and the reject and his friends got wasted. He gave me a 20% tip too, which was nice considering how s***ty his night had been.
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125points
“The person you are with is a human and deserves to be treated with basic human decency. It may feel awkward, but at the end of the day, honesty is the best policy,” she told Bored Panda. “So let the other person know that you’re thankful for their time, but don’t feel that you two are a match for one another and wish them all the best. If it’s too scary to do that in person or over the phone, then send it via text.”
#7
Tinder date. Guy keeps ordering for the girl. (S**t like that is weird anyway but when you are legitimately having dinner with a stranger, why the f**k would you think that's ok?)
He ordered her drink (liquor) which she corrected to a glass of wine. Then he ordered her some soup, which she stated she didn't want. Then he ordered her meal (shrimp scampi), which she corrected to chicken marsala because she is allergic to shellfish.
She was very sweet and I'm assuming was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Until something took a turn and she poured her wine on his head and stormed out.
The one good thing about him though... he tipped the hell out of me. like almost 60% tip on an already expensive meal.
I would kill to find out what he said to make this seemingly sweet girl pour cabernet all over him.
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116points
#8
I worked at a popular chain restaurant as my first job. On Tuesday's we would have trivia night where each table who wanted to participate could make a team name and answer the questions asked over the loud speaker. There was a table with these two people on a date but the guy constantly was on his phone. Walking passed a few times you could tell he was texting someone else while on this date. Needless to say the woman wasn't to pleased. She decided to try and have a good time anyway and joined in on trivia. When it was time to announce the team names over the speaker she chose the name "No sex for him tonight." The entire restaurant got a good laugh, but the poor guy didn't even notice he was too busy with his phone.
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111points
#9
I once was a server at a very upscale French restaurant in NYC. One evening a middle-aged man and a young woman are sat in my section, clearly on a date. You could tell this woman was his mistress by the way they interacted with each other. They were high maintenance but pleasant enough. Right after they had received their entrees, the man looks across the way to another table and loses all the color in his face. His date noticed and turned to see what he was looking at. The mans wife was at another table, also on a date with her side piece, on the other side of the restaurant. The wife sees him and has the same expression on her face, which very quickly turns to rage. She briskly walks over to his table and starts whisper-yelling at him, pointing her finger right in his face. He starts to do the same back at her. This isn't a very big restaurant, everyone knows what's going on and the atmosphere gets icy. The mans date is just staring at her plate, absolutely mortified. The wife's date pretends nothing is happening and continues eating. Eventually, the wife storms back over to her table and wolfs down her dinner (no exaggeration, she was like rage eating). He sits down and his mistress won't speak to him for the rest of the meal. This is a fine dining restaurant and they ordered multiple courses. Having to clear, crumb, and reset their table two more times was less than fun. He left a very big tip and apologized on the way out.
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108points
Relationship expert Dan Bacon believes that online and traditional dating are two very different beasts. He told Bored Panda that it’s important to verify whether a person is telling the truth about who they are when you’re using dating apps, such as Tinder.
"Get to a phone call, or video call as quickly as possible, so you can actually get a feel for each other and see if you click. At the very least, send voice texts back and forth so you can determine each other’s level of interest, as well as personality type and temperament," he said that people shouldn’t just rely on the chat function in the app.
Dan pointed out to Bored Panda that communication via texting can get very confusing, even though it’s fun. Two different people can interpret emojis and words very differently. And sometimes can end up getting hurt or feeling like they were deceived.
#10
When I worked at a drive thru coffee shop, my team and I saw this super awkward teenage couple on their first date. We were right by a high school and movie theater so it wasn’t anything unusual. However, as he got ready to back mom’s minivan out of a parking spot, the poor kid hit the gas pedal by mistake. Car goes straight into the marsh behind our parking lot. Police, fire department, and mom show up a bit later to pick up the kid. Everyone was fine, just one case of severely wounded pride.
Another one that started out awful but ended wonderful. Two teenage to early 20’s girls came in for a date. I don’t know how this happened but one poor girl was a little too excited to use the revolving door, moves faster than the door can turn, and smacks her head on the glass. Looked like it hurt. She immediately starts bawling so I rush over with a rag filled with ice. She’s got a bump on her forehead and a small cut but was ok. At one point she looked up to the ceiling and cried, “This is so embarrassing!!” My coworkers and I gave them free coffee and all the pastries they wanted to eat. Both girls ended up staying until close talking and left holding hands. I hope they are still happy.
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99points
#11
My first day at my first job as a server at a sushi restaurant (17 at the time with minimal people skills lol).
I had just checked in an older woman possibly in her early 60’s/late 50’s with a young man who couldn’t have been older than 25. Midway thru their meal I went to check up on them asking, “aw, are you taking Mom out today?”. They both turned with straight faces and the young man answered, “she’s my girl friend.”
I whispered an apology and just peeled myself away.
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94points
#12
First date. She's doing all of the talking, but it's ok, because he's totally into it. Every time she changes the subject, he's more infatuated with her. She likes football and guns and trucks, redneck style, and he loves it. Then she starts going through the pictures on her phone.
When she finally got around to mention that the 3 kids in the pictures were hers, I swear I actually heard his d**k deflate.
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91points
"A man might send a woman a text and she then replies with a laughing emoji, with tears of laughter. He thinks he's doing well, but in reality, she is rolling her eyes and thinking that his joke was lame. He might then continue using that type of humor and cause a disconnect between himself and her," he said.
"Online dating is more superficial and based on appearances compared to real-world interactions, which is more about how both people feel when interacting with each other in person," the relationship expert noted.
"A woman who would normally accept an average, confident, good guy in real life, will often have very high standards and only accept very good looking men on Tinder, or online dating. This results in millions of average-looking men wasting their time trying to match up with women who just aren't going to give them a chance," the dating expert shared his opinion about how dating apps have changed the entire dating experience.
#13
I once saw a guy shake his dates hand when she reached over to grab some bread.
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91points
#14
I waited tables in a small town when I was in college. We were one of the only restaraunts in town. I had an early 20's couple come in one Saturday night and it was obvious that they were on a first date. The guy was trying to impress the girl by being a real douche to me by ordering me around and belittling me. I can handle that, just kill 'em with kindness. So every time he was condescending or s***ty to me I just gave a nice "yes sir" or "right away sir" and did my job. He was so bad that other servers noticed. When he barked at me for his check, I promptly provided it for him. As he took his wallet out of his pocket, he dropped a condom on the ground. I picked it up and put it in on the table between both of them and said "Sir, you dropped this." He denied that it was his and I said "Yes it is, I just saw it fall out of your pocket." His date was furious. She immediately asked "What's that for? What did you think was going to happen tonight. We just met!" He tried to play it off but she got up and exclaimed "Pay the bill and take me home now!" She then turned to me and said "I'm sorry" and walked away. I gave him his change right there and he said "Thanks Bro," and I told him "Any time!" I didn't get a tip, but another table next to them saw the whole thing and became some of my regulars.
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86points
#15
It was clearly a blind date. Neither were comfortable at all. Dropped off drinks, both were polite, dropped off food, asked how everything was, the guy rolled his eyes and said “well the food is great I just wish SHE would TALK more”. Girl’s face went tomato red and I dropped off the check shortly after. Poor girl
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84points
"With traditional dating, average-looking men can enjoy the position of power because almost all men are afraid to approach and talk to women in real life. When an average looking man has the confidence to approach and talk to a woman in real life, as well as the ability to flirt and create a spark during a conversation, he will find that many of the single women he meets show interest and give their phone number," he said. "In some cases, a pretty woman who would never be interested in him via online dating or Tinder, can fall in love, marry and start a family with him all from him having the courage to walk up and say hello to her in person."
#16
The date started out kinda okay. Maybe a little awkward as first dates usually are, but they both decided at the end of the date that they weren't a good match. Woman said she would pay for her own meal, man declines and says he had every intention of paying since she humored him and gave him a chance. I'm thinking, "aw that is sweet even if they didn't work out". Woman thanks man and leaves in an uber as I am grabbing the check... man's card declines... man has to call woman to ask her to pay the entire bill because he didn't have money. Woman comes back about 10 minutes later, but man was hiding in the bathroom so he didn't have to look her in the eye. It was sad, because the woman wasnt even mad, but she seemed peeved that he would hide instead of thanking her. It was REALLY awkward.
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83points
#17
I worked at a semi casual restaurant and we would have a decent amount of blind dates. So I have a gentleman arrive for his reservation. So I seat him at table 8. Then I have a lady show up, "looking for her friend" I ask her if it's the gentleman at table 8. She thanks me and sits down with him. Well they start hitting it off great! Order drinks, apps, the whole thing. THEN, another guy comes in, says he is waiting for his friend and stands in the lobby texting on his phone. Eventually we catch on that he was also on a blind date, and was supposed to be with the girl at table 8!
The girl everntually comes up after getting a text from him, apologised then sat down with BOTH guys to enjoy the apps. Well eventually she suggests that her date was with the second guy, and that the first guy should head out. But it turns out the first guy was stood up on his blind date. Lol it was such a mess, and the first guy was royally pissed that he was being kicked away.
Hope that made sense!
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82points
#18
To preface, I work in a restaurant where we make our own ketchup and some people just don't like it. Fine, whatever, if you're nice I'll bring you the secret Heinz ketchup as long as you don't tell anyone. Anyway, a woman is seated at my table looking super excited and tells me she's on a blind date. She orders a glass of wine and waits anxiously, how cute right? So this dude shows up on his phone, ignores my hostess, and eventually finds this beautiful woman waiting for him. He continued to talk on his phone for like, 15 minutes, and when he finally hung up I went to the table. He tried to order for her which obviously embarrassed her, and for himself ordered a well done steak and fries. When I brought it to him he asked for A1 and REAL ketchup. When I informed him we had neither he grunted and said he had ketchup packets in his truck. As soon as he walked out the door she asked for her half of the check and her food to go. I helped her leave out the side door before he could even come back. It was awkward serving him after that. He used 7 ketchup packets.
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81points
Meanwhile, online dating leads to more competition, as fewer people, it seems, have the courage to ask someone out in real life. "They end up competing with tens of thousands of other men for the same woman on online dating or Tinder," Dan said.
"Many guys spend years trying to get a match via online dating when they could get a match in real life in a matter of minutes or hours if they just had the confidence to approach and ability to flirt and create a spark," he noted that online dating shouldn’t be someone’s one and only approach when looking for love.
#19
My wife was a server at an upscale restaurant and I'll never forget this story she told me.
It's Valentine's Day so the place is booked for the entire night and this guy shows up looking to get a table without an reservation. The hostess tells him that they are booked solid and unless there was a cancellation he wouldn't be able to get a table soon. Guy seems to accept this ok and goes to the bar to have a drink and wait for his date. Girl shows up and this guy is on his third gin and tonic and getting loud. She meets him at the bar and looks disappointed about the table. As they are discussing what to do next things go sideways as the guy drunkenly screams about "how that dumb b***h hostess lost his reservation that he made a week ago and he isn't leaving until they've got a table blah blah blah". The poor hostess is a basket case and trying not to break down as the the guys date goes as pale as a ghost. Manager obviously comes out to see what the problem is and the guy repeats his loud a***ole ish tirade against the 17 year old hostess. Luckily, the manager had a spine and told the man to immediately leave before he calls the police. He refuses so the manager calls the cops and the guy decides he has made his point and tries to run neglecting to pay for his drinks. Manager runs out gets his plate number and almost gets hit but the drunken jackass as he is trying to flee. Gets pulled over by the cops, fails a sobriety test, manager presses charges for assault and theft. This guys poor date is now comforting the hostess who by all accounts did her job and got lambasted for it.
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79points
#20
Pre prom dinner or something. Guess they had taken pictures today so not to have to do it tomorrow. Guys and girls all done up, suits, sparkly dresses.
One girl got up to use the bathroom, guess she didn’t know it was that time of month, her dress had a huge spot on the back, she had absolutely no clue. Female server runs in after her to tell her, they explain this to her date.
He Says guess there goes my night and week end and just noped the fuk out the restaurant. Left her here and with the bill.
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78points