What do our parents owe us, and what do children owe their parents? These questions are at the core of one user’s story on the AITA subreddit.
Not every family can provide for its children in the same way, and most of us understand that. What most people have come to expect, however, is that they and their siblings are treated as equals when it comes to receiving financial, emotional, and other types of support from their parents.
In the following story, however, that’s not what happened. Read on to see why the author of the Reddit post felt that he’d been treated unfairly and how he responded. Then, we’ll see whether Reddit thinks he went too far.
This man doesn't think he owes his parents his time because they cut him off but spoiled his siblings
Image credits: Christian Dubovan (not the actual image)
He told his story to hear whether he was right to ask his parents to pay for his forgiveness
Image credits: micheile henderson (not the actual image)
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)
Image credits: Professional_Rub4448
Some questioned his actions, but many thought he was in the right for standing up to his parents
The bonds between children and parents are deep and complex, and they change as they both grow older. In most cultures around the world, people understand that children and parents can owe one another a great deal, but the nature of that relationship is for each and every one of us to decide.
So when this man was cut off to fend for himself at 18 while his younger siblings enjoyed total financial support, most commenters agreed that he had the right to feel resentment. He had, for better or worse, been forced to struggle while his siblings enjoyed relative luxury.
Parental favoritism like this can lead to psychological issues for offspring who feel like they’ve been unfairly treated. A study performed by researchers in Hong Kong and California indicated the following: “Adolescents who believe that their parents treat them differently from their siblings have poorer psychosocial well-being than otherwise. This phenomenon, which is known as parental differential treatment or PDT, occurs in up to 65% of families.”
For most, the question of whether the post author was wrong came down to whether or not his response was appropriate
Comments defending the author’s parents generally also acknowledged that he had been treated unfairly. However, those commenters also emphasized the importance of the cause for the author’s unfair treatment. According to him, his parents claimed that their unequal treatment had been because his parents realized their mistake and tried to compensate for it with his siblings. This did little to solve his resentment, however.
What’s important is that wherever your opinion falls, this was a difficult situation for everyone involved. The author’s parents wanted to correct their mistakes and reconnect with their child, while the post’s author wanted some sort of acknowledgement of the difficulties his parents had put him through. We’d love to hear your take in the comments - do you think the author was right or wrong to act the way he did?
Some commenters weren't sure that "selling his forgiveness" was the right thing to call it
Most agreed that the OP was not in the wrong here
Others could see the parents' side, thinking they had acted unfairly because they sought to correct their mistakes
