Prepare For Your Next Job Interview By Learning These 59 Ways To Sell A Pen

"I was told that I was the owner of a pencil store, and my interviewer said that he only needed a pen.

When I started to pretend offering him a selection of pens, I was stopped, "no your only inventory is pencils", specifically the real life No. 2 pencil on the table between us.

So I changed tactics.

"If you are in that dire a need of a pen then I'm assuming that something must have gone wrong with your day. If everything was according to plan for you, you'd have a pen in your pocket and would have passed my shop by and gotten on with your life. But something went wrong, which happens. If I sold you a pen then it could break, it could ruin that nice suit and a 3 cent piece of plastic could cost you hundreds of dollars in the process. All because something simple went wrong.

If something goes wrong with one of my pencils? The worst outcome that could come from a pencil?

Here I hold out the pencil and snap it half.

You just end up with two pencils."

I hate sales but I am still completely dorkily proud of that particular bullsh*t."

Sad-Piglet8543 said: "Easy, tell the interviewer you cannot because your sale method is not selling a customer something they do not need, but match the right customer to the right product at the right time."

AllofaSuddenStory replied: "They are so impressed they want to write that note on the back of your resume. Suddenly they do need a pen."

obscureferences said: "Disassemble the pen and give them one part for free, and offer the rest in a series of microtransactions."

shawerma_sauce replied: "Congratulations! You've been hired by the EA sales department."

saschaleib said:
"— Would you really hire somebody who charges you 50 quid for a pen that was already yours to begin with?
— 50 quid?!?
— Alright, 30 for you. Deal?"

WizardOfIF replied:
"That's how a guy got me to buy a camp trailer. He started the price out 3 grand over what I was wanting to pay then before I knew it he was knocking the price down without me saying anything. I felt like the best negotiator for getting the price I wanted and was driving it home before I realized I paid exactly what he asked for it."

"I held it up like a dagger and told him I was going to stab him through the eye with it if he didn't buy it in the next ten seconds. I did not get the job, but I got $417 and a nice watch for the pen."

dontbeglad said:
"This pen has the antidote."

Shadow_Lou replied:
"Remember your coffee from before the interview?"

jez4prez said: "Me: “There is no pen. Do you believe in fate, Neo?”

shawerma_sauce replied: "Did he buy the Red pen or the Blue pen from you?"

"I’m not gonna sell you this pen. I’m going to give it to you and sell you the paper. Don’t sell an object, sell a subscription."

"I sold a guy a truck, about a week later he interviewed me for a job (didn't know it would be the same guy) he asked me the pen question, paused and said "we did that last week" and moved on."

"A very very attractive candidate actually once seductively tried to do the whole "S*xy Pen Sale" thing.

She was promptly told to leave the interview as it was not appropriate. Kudos to the hiring HR rep actually."

"I did this once. I didn’t take it seriously at all, since it was for selling advertising on the eighth ranked country station in a small liberal town. Instead of selling the guy a pen, I got him interested in buying a pontoon boat (as he mentioned having a bass boat earlier in the interview). He was like, “sell me this pen”, and I said, “why? Are you in the market for a pen right now? Is that a problem you’re having a hard time solving yourself?” And then we started talking about free time and hobbies.

It totally worked, and I don’t know how, and I also didn’t care because that job s*cked."

"Be more creative with your interview questions."

SwaggermusPrime said: "Sorry this is not my pen selling it would be a crime under (local law)."

SinkTube replied: "Interviewer to self: "Unwilling to commit crimes on our behalf. Mark for rejection."

"Not me, but a former sales manager was a d***hebag who prided himself on being the greatest and the only one who knew everything about sales and tech (he didn't, hence the word "former"). He was trying to find a new salesperson but rejected nearly every resume I put in front of him for nitpicky bullsh*t until one day he announced that he'd found the perfect candidate and was bringing him in for a formal interview but he was pretty sure he was going to hire him on the spot. He kept going on and on about how this guy was perfect and why couldn't we find him someone like this and blah blah blah. Whatever, fine, just get it done. He bought the guy in, sat him down and said "sell me this pen." The guy picked up the pen, handed it back and said "I don't play pen games." Then he walked out and we never heard or saw him again."

votemarvel said: "I asked "may I see it?" I then put it in my pocket. He asked for the pen back and I tried to charge him £10 for it. I didn't get the job or get to keep the pen."

Commenter replied: "Can I get the pen back?"
"What pen?"

SheriffLobo3 said: "I would tell them that I had already created a website to purchase pens called Pen Island. And would encourage them to visit Pen Island.com"

shawerma_sauce replied: "You sumb*tch I actually fell for that..."

"I heard it being asked at a group interview by the new lady from HR... I shot her a "wtf" look she asked a different question instead."

JesusIsMyHotRod said: "I asked them "Why? You already bought it." They told me I had to prove my salesmanship skills. So I said "Why? You already paid for it. Clearly the product speaks for itself. Just like our product does."I got the job. But it turns out I was actually interviewing to be a janitor and they got me confused with someone else."

shawerma_sauce riplied: "Obviously you were overqualified."

Repres3nt2 said: "I said “What do you need a pen for?” Best sales strategy is to ask questions before you make your approach."

PaulClarkLoadletter replied: "It must be pretty great if you want it. I don’t know if I even want to sell it now. I think I’m going to keep it."

"I have been in sales for about 30 years. Never been asked that question but if they did, I would get up and walk out. I don’t like gimmicks. Anyone asking that kind of question during a job interview doesn’t sound like a job I would want. It’s amateurish."