Each and every action has consequences that we can’t predict. Even the tiniest things can have a deep, long-lasting impact. Not just on us! On the people who we care about the most. And even the most seemingly harmless things that parents do can have some really serious consequences for their children’s lives.
That’s what Reddit users have been discussing after u/DL4MISH created a thread on r/AskReddit about these small, allegedly harmless things that some parents do. The discussion really took off: their question got a whopping 1.2k comments. Scroll down, have a read, and let us know which of these opinions you agree with, dear Pandas.
Each and every parent should do their best to provide a healthy, happy home for their children, however, they can sometimes lose sight of what's most important. For example, being overprotective can be just as bad as not being protective enough, and we shouldn't forget that our kids are individuals with their own unique needs.
Bored Panda wanted to learn more about how to be a better parent and what pitfalls to avoid, so I reached out to author and child independence expert Lenore Skenazy, the president of Let Grow and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement, as well as parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of Walking Outside in Slippers. Scroll down for both in-depth interviews.
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#21
Parents saying “i’m the parent” or “i’m doing my best” in response to your frustration. any argument i’m in with my mom, her reason why is because “she’s the parent”. it makes me feel invalidated as a kid.
if you’re a parent and you don’t have a good reason for something, or won’t reveal the real reason when your kid asks why, you should rethink your priorities. an “i said no because i’m the parent” response to a kid asking to color their hair doesn’t help anything. if you really don’t want them to, explain using real reasons.
seniority does not inherently mean respect. treat kids as small people with less experience, not as beings who are lesser-than.
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76points
#22
Shipping them with their friends or teasing them about liking someone who is really just a friend
Needless to say this is stopping me from ever making a boy friend (not boyfriend BUT BOY FRIEND)
Also has made me stop being friends with some cool people (not parents but classmates who do the same)
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74points
#23
Discussing adult problems/fears with them or around them. It can instill unnecessary fears which leads to anxiety problems. Or embarrassing them in front of others
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68points
#24
My mom always used to tell me how gross sex is and now I have intimacy issues.
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67points
#25
Snooping.
If you want your kid to get really good at hiding things from you and lying to you, this is how you do it. And as a bonus, they'll probably never trust you around their things in the future, if they keep in contact with you at all after they move out.
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66points
#26
Don't tell kids that reading and school are more important than interpersonal relationships.
Also don't hit kids or teach them to associate fear and pain with love. It'll hurt their chances of having normal relationships in the future.
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59points
#27
Do not use food as a reward. Especially the same food over and over again.
Otherwise you're getting a kid who subconsciously connects the two, gets happiness from eating that food, and will overeat it to the point of obesity, especially if its junk food.
Example me, with fries.
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56points
#29
Simply handing them money.
It quite the needle to thread to figure out how to get money into your kids’ hands without it becoming an expectation, an entitlement. We want to give our kids stuff. But we don’t want it to create problems.
Helping kids learn the value of money is important.
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50points
#30
When they reprimand their kids about a certain habit or action that the parents themselves do (or do to the kids) - it gives the idea that yes, my parent knows that this is wrong and is telling me that it is wrong but they still do it so maybe I can do it as well. Seems like it's a way to develop cognitive dissonance in kids.
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46points
