#1
I hit a smallish lottery (~few mill) a little while back and told absolutely no one, family and friends included. I took a bunch of steps to secure my kids futures and we live a very comfortable but not lavish life. I'm pretty generous with the people around me, I think that they just think I'm doing very well career wise (or something illegal under the table).
I justify it by thinking that if this was general knowledge amongst friends and family it would ruin relationships. My priority needed to be my kids.
#2
17 years later, I'm out to everyone I know and getting married later this year. My life remains undestroyed.
#3
Here's the thing: we all keep secrets. Some are harmless little white lies, like pretending you absolutely loved that hideous sweater your aunt gave you for Christmas. But others? They're the kind that could blow up your entire life if they ever came out. We hide things for love, fear, or survival, but every secret has a weight, and the longer it’s carried, the heavier it becomes. So what happens when it starts crushing you?
Researchers have figured out that the average person is juggling around 13 secrets at any given moment, and get this, five of those have never been shared with another living soul. These can range from money problems to infidelity, unspoken traumas, or hidden desires. Even if no one finds out, secrets don’t just vanish; they live rent-free in our heads.
#4
HE DESERVED TO KNOW. But that would easily ruin our 20 year friendship if she ever found out.
But no one deserves to be cheated on, ever.
#5
#6
edit: Thanks everyone for your responses, it's good to know that I'm not the only one who has messed up :) In response to a lot of questions, my parents found out about everything when my mom was trying to get my health insurance taken care of and the insurance said that I wasn't enrolled in school (this was 5 years ago). I have since paid my parents back for the money they spent, went to community college, transferred to a 4 year, and am now about to graduate with my BS.
Psychologists say keeping secrets isn't just exhausting mentally; it takes a physical toll too. Studies from Columbia University found that simply thinking about a secret drains cognitive energy. People who dwell on their hidden truths have higher levels of stress, anxiety, and even fatigue. It's basically like walking around in invisible armor all day, every day.
Interestingly, it's not actually the hiding that messes us up the most; it's the constant thinking about hiding. We don’t suffer because we hide; we suffer because we obsess about it. Every reminder triggers guilt, shame, or worry. As it turns out, over time, that constant inner dialogue can manifest as headaches, poor sleep, or even heart problems. Yes, secrets can literally break your heart.
#7
It's so childish, stupid, and weird, but honestly if my imagination is vivid enough during a given session, it makes me really happy and I feel at peace.
Writing is a nice outlet but not enough. I can't really lucid dream either. But hopefully in the future, I will be able to visit the world in my head through virtual reality technology and spend time actually physically being there.
So yeah there's my (probably) mental illness laid out for the internet to see.
EDIT: Wow. Woke up to see some truly kind replies, some of which made me tear up a little bit. Thank you all so very much. I thought this would get buried, but boy was I wrong.
As for some popular questions:
I'm 19 ._.
His name is Feuer (German for fire). I was never good with names, but I thought that sounded pretty cool. Also kind of signifies his warm personality. He's dark green like that of an evergreen tree.
A lot of people were saying I should write about it, well I actually did. [Here's the story](http://slimjimo10.deviantart.com/art/One-Last-Chance-476913820). I also have the rough draft for a followup story finished but I need to work on fixing some of the stuff there.
I'll try to reply to as many of the replies as I can, but I have classes soon so I won't get to too many right now. I'll try to get to rest after classes!
EDIT 2: Wow... you people are awesome. The story went from like 100 views to almost 3000 in less than 12 hours. I can't believe it, it's gotten more attention than I thought it ever would. A huge thanks to those who left feedback. And also a huge thanks to all the kind words said. I'll certainly keep dreaming :)
Also, here's a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xrakyBNzvs), it's probably one of my favorites of all time. Just thought I'd share it so my fellow escapists may hear it :).
#9
Yet, some secrets are necessary. They can protect others, preserve privacy, or maintain peace. From an evolutionary standpoint, humans learned to keep secrets as a survival tactic, concealing vulnerabilities, desires, or actions that could get us kicked out of the social circle. In a way, secrecy was once a shield. But in the modern world, that same shield can start to suffocate us.
Confession, on the other hand, is medicine. Neuroscientists say that disclosing a secret releases dopamine and oxytocin, the same chemicals tied to bonding and relief. Even just writing it down somewhere or telling a total stranger on the internet can dial down your stress levels.
#10
#11
My parents and brother don't trust me at all anymore because I've done some incredibly stupid things and lied about them. I've also had to do things or tell bigger lies to cover what started out as a little white lie. Other people around me that've caught me In a lie don't know how to act around me anymore.
I know I need to stop and I am trying but the more I try to stop doing it, the more I do it. This is slowly destroying my life and my relationship with my family and there is nothing i can about it.
#12
PostSecret is an ongoing community mail art project created by Frank Warren back in 2004. It’s simple: people mail their Warren their secrets anonymously on a homemade postcard. Selected secrets are then posted on the PostSecret website, or used for books and museum exhibits.
In an interview with CBS, Warren said, "In some ways, I think when we keep a secret, that secret's actually keeping us. Maybe haunting us. Maybe inviting us to reconcile with part of our past we're hiding from. Maybe keeping us from having intimate relationships with others or ourselves." Heavy stuff.
#13
I'm a solitary man who minds his own business. I'm presently in a circumstance where I could move elsewhere, yet I cherish this concealed heaven to such an extent.
#14
#15
Regardless, military found out that I had gone through therapy and further, answered that question. As a result I can't join the military as an officer. Lot's of friends are doing stuff like flying aircraft, learning languages, tracking satellites, and playing around ICBMs. I'm finishing up college and am trying to find a job.
Irony to all of this is I started the s*****e prevention and awareness program at my colleges ROTC battalion. I went through campus therapy because I didn't want to be a hypocrite. All in all, I've found the military to be largely hypocritical in the end.
At the end of the day, every secret tells two stories: what you're concealing, and who you really are when nobody's watching. The cost of keeping one isn’t measured in exposure, but in energy.
Whether whispered in confession or carried to the grave, secrets remind us that, although honesty might be terrifying, it's also the most liberating thing in the world. What do you think of the secrets in this list? Upvote the ones that made your jaw drop, and feel free to leave a comment if any hit home! Your secrets are safe here, promise.
#16
The only person who knows this is my ex. We had dated for six months and then we had to take a break. I wasn't supposed to be seeing him but decided to one night anyway. I snuck out to see him and everything was fine.
I was walking back home and I saw a giant dead squirrel in the middle of the road. I got into my house and started playing Call of Duty. After about a half hour, I realized I hadn't seen my dog in a while which was unusual because she always runs up to me. I couldn't find her in the house and stopped dead in my tracks and remembered seeing what I thought was a gigantic squirrel.
I took off running outside to where I saw it and I realized it was my mom's dog. She wasn't in the middle of the road anymore, someone had moved her to the sidewalk. I broke down crying. I couldn't believe that I had left the gate open when I left. I was the one who got her ki**d.
My mom absolutely loved her. She followed my mom around everywhere and was always by her side. I stood at the road and called my mom who was out of state and i was crying my heart out. I kept saying I was so sorry and she told me it wasn't my fault so I shouldn't be. I started crying more then and she was trying so hard to calm me down and I felt bad because she didn't know that it really was my fault.
I couldn't pick her up and bring her home because I couldn't touch her. Someone driving by stopped and helped me get her home. That was a really hard time.
My mom and family assume that she had a heart attack or something since I found her on the side of the road. I can't tell them that I saw her in the middle of the road 30 minutes prior. I know that someone really had hit her.
My mom was crying for weeks. It took her half a year just to be able to look at pictures of her again or to mention her without crying. I feel so awful for it and could never tell her the truth.
#17
Anyway, I almost k***ed my sister years ago. She was about 3 and I was maybe 9-11 years old. I carried her to the terrace (5 stories high including the ground floor). And like some dumb f**k, I placed her at the edge of the terrace, above a barricade of sorts. There was nothing to protect her from falling, and directly below, 5 stories down, is a cemented path. I don't remember what was so important I had to do that I left her dangling there, at death's edge.
All I remember is, she was starting to sway backwards, towards the ground. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. So I ran and somehow managed to grab on to her just as she was about to fall. I felt my heart racing against my chest. I hugged her for a a really long time. Too afraid to let go.
To this day, I haven't told her (she's 25 now), nor my Mom. Even typing this still makes me nervous. That height, how a baby's body would've ended up splattered all over the hard cemented pathway, how I could be institutionalized, how my family would've disown me, how I would've missed watching her grow up... still haunts me. It developed an irrational fear in me, of carrying babies around. Even if I'm not the one carrying them. Or even if there is no height involved.
Edit: Thanks for all the awesome responses guys. And yes, I will definitely tell her this one day. Just not yet, still can't see how we'll be able to laugh about it though. Still gives me the chills, the creepy kind.
#18
Wow... I didn't expect this comment to explode like this. I hope everyone understands that I can't possibly go through all of the replies because it would take hours. I'm glad that a lot of people understand how I feel though. Also thanks for all of the support everyone. :).
#19
